Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Tuesday, September 29, 2015
As a man thinks…
Recently, a
young girl, struggling with eating disorders, posted a sentiment on Facebook,
entitled, “Welcome to my head.” Here were some of the things comprising it:
Worthless
Ugly
Fat
Weak
Stupid
Failure
Never good
enough
It’s sad and
frustrating to see this yet again and still. It can be so naturally built into
us, can’t it?
And it seems
almost impossible to override those negative and destructive words.
But God DOES
have a real antidote to them- HIS Word! Will we, however apply it?
Concerning
the “ugly” statement?
“O my dove…let me see your form…for your form is lovely.”
Song of Solomon 2:14
Concerning
the “weak” statement?
“I can do all things through Christ
who strengthens me.”
Philippians 4:13
Concerning
the “stupid” statement?
“For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may
instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ.”
1 Corinthians 2:16
Concerning
the “failure” statement?
“…being confident of
this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it
until the day of Jesus Christ.”
Philippians 1:6
Concerning
the “Never good enough” statement?
“The LORD hath appeared of old unto
me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with
lovingkindness have I drawn thee.”
Jeremiah
31:3
It is about
a change in our thinking. Proverbs nails it on the head:
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so
is he...”
Proverbs 23:7
How are we
thinking? And is it creating a self-fulfilling prophecy? Is it the one we want?
Let’s
challenge our thoughts; not all are Godly. But we can apply God’s Words to
ourselves. Let’s start now!
Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse
Monday, September 28, 2015
The Gigantic Fridge Isn't So Big Afterall
Featured in
September 28th’s Christians In Recovery, Cruse discusses the
volatile role a refrigerator can often play for those in recovery from food and
body image issues.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
The Wandering of Distractions
“He wandereth abroad for bread, saying, ‘Where is it?’…”
Job 15:23
Within recovery,
there is often the need to commemorate the struggle, the courage and the
life-affirming process, via tattoos and piercings.
Indeed, I’ve
encountered many young people who have significant dates and meaningful logos
marked on their skin. Likewise, eyebrows, nostrils and lips are also pierced,
in the declaration of some kind of personal freedom from pain.
John Lennon
once stated in his lyrics, “Whatever gets you through the night, it’s all
right, it’s all right.” I certainly can understand that viewpoint. My darkest
moments had me looking for any point of light. When one is desperate to
overcome seemingly hopeless circumstances, any avenue will do.
“For what I am doing, I do not understand...”
The Apostle Paul in Romans 7:15
In my
communications with young people, pursuing the tattoo and piercing avenues, the
argument is often made about how getting a certain body modification will
reinvent, empower, and heal them from whatever they have faced in the past.
This includes abuse, disorder, addiction, loss and pain. Indeed, many have,
therefore gotten NEDA heart logo tattoos, a date of his/ her last drink or a
pierced septum to symbolized freedom from self-defined slavery. The list goes
on and on, unique, specific and personal.
And, while
they may know exactly what they want and what they think it represents, all too
often, they are clueless about the why question and the state of their hearts.
“The heart is deceitful above all
things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Jeremiah 17:9
“Keep thy heart with all diligence;
for out of it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23
“Having the understanding darkened, being alienated from the
life of God through the ignorance that is in them, because of the blindness of
their heart:”
Ephesians 4:18
So, these commemorations becomes distractions-
and can produce that disappointed result of feeling continually lost.
“He wandereth abroad for bread, saying, ‘Where is it?’…”
Job 15:23
The tattoo
or the piercing is not the problem; rather, its significance is. When that body modification becomes
the answer, there’s where the idolatry and unrealistic answers can come in.
“For all the gods of the nations are idols: but the LORD made the
heavens.”
Psalms 96:5
The word’s definition
reads as follows:
1) image of a deity, etc., as an object of worship. 2) the
object of excessive or supreme adulation, a graven image icon, effigy, symbol,
fetish, totem, god, hero or heroine, star, celebrity.
Yes, if we’re
looking for any kind of mark on our physical bodies to be our answer and our
salvation, we are setting ourselves up for great disappointment. God is the
only way the lost can be found.
“That the saying might
be fulfilled, which he spake, ‘Of them which thou gavest me have I lost none.’”
John 18:9
“For the Son of man is come to save that which was lost.”
Matthew 18:11
Accept no substitutes. Body modification stops at the body. It does not
transcend the soul and spirit.
Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse
Friday, September 25, 2015
The Ultimate Therapist
Featured in
September 25th’s Christians In Recovery, Cruse discusses the role
God plays as therapist within the recovery setting.
Thursday, September 24, 2015
But I Don’t Worry About You
A scene from
an episode of the final season of “Mad Men” captures a self-doubt moment
beautifully. The exchange is between the protagonist, Don Draper and that of his
protege, Peggy Olsen. She recently turned thirty years old and, like most of
us, life had not turned out how she expected it would. Peggy has a moment of
self-doubt, one to which Draper responded…
“I worry about a lot of things. But I
don’t worry about you.”
Worry. We
have a lot of it in life. We worry about our jobs, our families, our place in
this world and our recovery if we struggle with addictions, disorders and
compulsions. We worry, even though “fear not” is mentioned by God numerous
times in scripture. We cannot seem to help it.
So, where
does all of this worry stem from? How about from a thought? Check yourself and
see if you have ever thought some of these things about yourself.
“I’m nobody special…”
This is a
biggie, hitting our core identity and our value. Most of us have encountered
lying thoughts about ourselves here. Bullying, abuse and peer pressure often
lead us to believe we’re worthless and unwanted.
But God
states the contrary…
“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”
Isaiah 41:9
“Since you were
precious in my sight… I have loved you…”
Isaiah 43:4
“All things were made by him; and without him was not anything
made that was made.”
John 1:3
And because
He is His Word (Genesis 1:1; John 1:1),
He’s not fretting about us the way we are. He knows what He’s doing and how to
handle us. And He is, indeed, handling us.
But we human
beings still have trouble believing it.
And so, more worry…
“But what if…”
This thought
is dedicated for those of us control freaks (you know who you are). And yes,
worry warts are also always welcome too.
We can “awful-ize”
any particular situation, playing “what if” games with ourselves, but never
playing the game to its end. So, there’s a lot of up in the air anxious
uncertainty plaguing us.
It’s Chicken
Little’s “the sky is falling” on steroids!
But here’s
the good news; God’s thoughts are different from ours!
“For my thoughts are
not your thoughts, nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My
ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
Before you
and I ever thought one catastrophic, despair-filled thought, God knew about it
and purposely thought differently. He thought according to love, prosperity,
health and blessing. He’s thinking it right now!
And that’s
why, regardless of what is or is not happening, God’s in control; He’s leading
and guiding this thing called our lives…
“Trust in the Lord
with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways
acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
“But I’ve made too many mistakes…”
Still, we
tend to worry, spiting that Truth of that scripture, don’t we? We obsess about
our imperfections, our sins, our faults. We can even freak out about how much God is freaking out about our less
than perfect selves. We think He’s appalled and fed up with us. He’s not. He knew what He was getting into
when He took us on…
“For all have
sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”
Romans 3:23
And He’s
committed to helping us, even when we
screw up.
“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am
thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee
with the right hand of my righteousness.”
Isaiah 41:10
For all of
our shortcomings, none of us is too difficult for Him.
“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there
anything too hard for Me?”
Jeremiah 32:27
He’s not
intimated by us and whatever mess may exist in our lives. He has it under
control.
But it’s hopeless…
Yes, most of
us have our despair thoughts running amuck. We come up with all kinds of
reasons why it’s hopeless for us. We don’t see a blessed future.
But again,
God thinks and executes His Plan for us differently…
“For I know the
thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of
evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11
“…being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a
good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
Philippians 1:6
To use Mad
Men terminology? God is saying, “I don’t worry about you.”
The challenge for us is to take Him at His
Word.
Copyright © 2015 by
Sheryle Cruse
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
Monday, September 21, 2015
Sunday, September 20, 2015
Attention, Limping Puppy!!
“In your patience possess ye your
souls.”
Luke 21:19
“Knowing this, that the trying of
your faith worketh patience.”
James 1:3
I saw this
little guy the other day.
The “awwh”
factor was off the charts.
And it made
me think about our struggles in life. How many of us are spiritually,
emotionally and mentally limping along?
Yeah, exactly.
The persistence accompanies the patience we
need. I know- neither sound fun. But there is a payoff to hanging in there:
“For ye have need of patience, that,
after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.”
Hebrews 10:36
You’ve heard about the importance of attitude.
And that enters into the struggle issue big time. What if, instead of despair,
we had hopeful glory about our circumstances?
I know. Tall order. Nevertheless, there is
good news, even as we may limp along…
“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a
cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so
easily beset us, and let us run
with patience the race that is set before us. Looking unto Jesus the author and
finisher of our faith; who for
the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is
set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:1-2
Never, never, never give up! You ARE getting
there!
Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse
But, But, But… (Imagination- Fear Or Faith)
Fear and faith are two universal issues in life. To one
degree or another, we all encounter them. Yet, for most of us, it’s probably a
safe bet to say we feel fear is the more acutely experienced situation. It’s
often easier, it seems, to “feel” fear rather than to “feel” faith, isn’t it?
Yet, each of
us, according to scripture, has the capacity for faith:
"For by the grace given me I say to every one
of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think
of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God
has given you."
However, we,
all too often, experience our capacity for feelings. And those pesky feelings
can often go in the wrong direction for us. Those feelings have us pursuing
negative faith stuff, not necessarily faith in God stuff.
“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence
of things not seen.”
Hebrews 11:1
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the
Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11
Indeed, God
has some differing thoughts…
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my
ways, says the Lord. For as the
heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My
thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
The problem
is not God’s thoughts; it’s ours (what a shock). That’s where the fear comes
in, the negative faith which tries to convince us doom and destruction are the
only things headed our way. The often used acronym for fear goes as follows: False
Evidence Appearing Real. Ever hear that?
Yes, indeed,
Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s our own creative imagination that runs amok with
worst case scenarios and fuels our fears and phobias. But again, God has a
different perspective…
"Don't be afraid; just believe."
Mark 5:36
“Behold, I am the Lord,
the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?”
Jeremiah 32:27
Do we really
believe God can handle our lives? Do we really believe He’s bigger than any
fear or threat? The ideal response is “yes,” but what’s our actual response,
more often than not?
No, our
wonderful imaginations are bigger.
Yet, once
again, God offers us a solution…
“Casting down
imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge
of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.”
2 Corinthians 10:5
It’s about
the final, bottom line. Is it God? Or is it an imagination, disguised as a lie,
a fear or a worst case scenario? We all need work in this department. Faith is
an ongoing, work in progress kind of thing. It isn’t about a one-time perfect
result. It’s daily, like breathing.
It’s our
response to God and His Word. Is it “amen” or is it an argumentative, “But,
but, but?”
The choice
is up to us. However, regardless of that choice, God is still an amazing,
powerful and loving God.
Imagine
that!!!
Copyright © 2015 by
Sheryle Cruse
Friday, September 18, 2015
“Am I pretty?”
I love the 1940 adaptation of “Our Town” by Thornton Wilder.
It follows the lives of its Grover’s Corner citizens.
And that includes a young girl, Emily. There was a
particular conversation between Emily and her mother which caught my attention;
it’s one, to a certain degree, which is echoed between many mothers and
daughters now. It’s about being pretty.
Emily asks her mother, “Am I pretty enough to get people
interested in me?”
My ears perked right up, along with many mixed emotions
about the question. Having experienced struggles with body and self-image, as
well as eating disorders, the “pretty” question is far from pretty.
Years later, I’m still befuddled by the importance of it. Is
it a real human desire for females or is it learned?
Scripture tells us appearance’s importance is a part of life
here:
“ …‘Look not on his countenance, or on the
height of his stature… for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on
the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.’”
1 Samuel 16:7
So, God desires us to be “pretty on the inside?”
Somehow, however, that doesn’t quite jive by the time we
reach adolescence. High school often teaches us numerous lessons on who is
pretty… and who is not.
Indeed, as a little girl, my mother and I often had
discussions or “rating systems” on which of my female peers were “cute,”
“pretty” or “beautiful.” It wasn’t just about judging or picking apart facial
features. It had to do with being worthwhile.
Because, “being pretty,” largely involves acceptance, being
chosen. And isn’t that what we long for? We spend our lives chasing that chosen
feeling/reality.
I’m not against beauty; I understand its importance. Who
doesn’t enjoy looking at something or someone who is aesthetically pleasing?
But I cringe at the extreme importance placed upon “being
pretty,” often to the exclusion or negation of other valuable attributes:
kindness, personality, spirituality, talent and intellect, for instance. We’ve
heard about the pretty girl who dumbed down and downplayed her own
intellect/scholastic achievement, just to be approved of and accepted by a good
looking boy or a pressuring peer group. She wanted people to be interested in
her. And, instead of letting those non-physical qualities stand out, she
believed the lie that all she had to offer was her looks. That’s where her
worth resided.
As I watched “Our Town,” I encountered a lot of antiquated
mindsets, especially concerning male and female roles. It’d be great to think
about how far we’ve come since then. It’d
be great if we could see advancement and equality, enlightenment for all
individuals where intrinsic worth wasn’t judged by outward appearance.
Sadly, we’re not there. As sweet and endearing as that
mother/daughter “pretty” discussion was, it still rings uncomfortably true to
this day as the emphasized factor for a girl’s worth. “Pretty” is still so
important. There is an absence of the “smart,” “witty” or “kind” questions when
it comes to a female’s value.
And that is a shame. We are spiritual beings. We are who our
spirit is, not what our faces and bodies look like.
“Pretty,” by itself, is an adjective, not an end-all, be all
of individual worth. You and I can be pretty, but that should not be where we
end. There’s too much more to us. We need to tap into that. God created
incredible beings. He wants us to discover ALL of who we are, not just stop at
appearance.
As inherently valuable creations of the Most High God, you
and I are enough, AS IS, to be interesting to others and to be worthwhile,
regardless of another’s acceptance or rejection. Valuable… and wonderful, AS IS!!!
“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”
Psalm 139:14
This is who we are! Fully own and enjoy that Truth today!!!
Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse
Thursday, September 17, 2015
At the Pleasure of the Savior (A Big Recovery Key)
One of my
favorite series I catch on Netflix is “The West Wing.” While watching it, I
became aware of a standard response regarding the president’s staff: “I serve
at the pleasure of the President.” I don’t know if this response really exists
or if it was just for dramatic purposes. But I started thinking about the
service issue.
When I was
thirteen, I served as a waitress for my cousin’s wedding. Thank you. Yes, I’m
still recovering. Let’s just say I was not skilled. I tried not to spill food,
break plates and grumble. It was not an easy feat. So, I had a negative view of
serving.
But, alas,
it’s all over the place in Christianity, isn’t it?
“Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, and serve
him, and shalt swear by his name.”
Deuteronomy 6:13
“…what doth the LORD thy God require of thee,
but to fear the LORD thy God, to walk in all his ways, and to love him, and to
serve the LORD thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul,”
Deuteronomy 10:12
“If any man serve me, let him follow me; and
where I am, there shall also my servant be: if any man serve me, him will my
Father honour.”
John 12:26
“For,
brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an
occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.”
Galatians 5:13
Whew! Yeah.
Got it.
Anyway, how do
we feel about the serving issue?
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so
is he...”
Proverbs 23:7
A lot of us
probably have negative associations with the word. We may think of mistreated
waitresses, humiliation and irritation. Not exactly the stuff which has people
lining up around the block.
Do we, then,
challenge our views of the issue? Or do you and I opt out? If we do that,
however, do we miss out? Perhaps, that is the better question to ask.
But are we
asking it? Or do we ask the question, instead, “what’s in it for me?”
Did Jesus
ask that question?
Yeah.
Exactly. Feeling sheepish yet?
Scripture
tells us we are to follow His lead:
“…‘If any man will come after me, let him deny
himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.”
Matthew 16:24
“For even the Son of Man did not come to be
served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."
Mark 10:45
And
concerning the serving issue? Yeah. That’s quite inclusive.
Years ago,
as documented in my book, a large shift in my recovery and spiritual life
involved serving. Had it not been for that tremendously blessed opportunity, my
book and my relationship with God would not be what they are today. Indeed,
however imperfectly the process may be, I first learned the powerful principle
of “serving at the pleasure of the Savior.”
“…I had allowed my world to become so
small, so isolated... That left little room for anyone to get into my life. But…I
had to get used to knowing people and being known by them.
…I’d move step by step, it seemed,
finding myself stepping into more foreign territory, more questions. Nowhere
was this more evident than with one of the best gifts God has given me: an
internship program within the church. Within the program, a small group of
people focused on both developing their walk with God and serving the Lord
through its volunteer service component…
…With this group of fellow
God-seekers, everything was amplified, including that whole ‘God’s family’
thing. And I was in need of learning how to become a part of God’s family.
…And during this time, I had now
become busier with other things other than weight and body issues. Disordered
eating and image habits often consume and take over every part of life….
But now, my life was being taken up
more by God and the things of God. I didn’t have the luxury any longer of
obsessing about my looks—or for that matter, any other little thing about
myself. I had stuff to do. It seemed to be ringing true, the whole thing about
losing your life to save it (Luke 9:23-24).
Yes, I was so much happier, so much freer, when it wasn’t solely about me, me,
and me…
…Over and over again, I need to
remind my performance-based self that it’s not about me…God is showing me that
He’s patient—and that there’s still more…”
(Excerpt
taken from Cruse’s book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living
Death of an Eating Disorder”)
As we deal
with our struggles, issues, disorders and addictions, let’s take the time to
stop and check out our service to others- and to God, Himself. Is it there at
all? Are we helping anyone else?
Service is
the antidote to the myopic self-focus, which, sooner or later, causes us
problems. God has blessings for us which only
come by way of serving. Are we, then, missing out on those blessings?
“Henceforth I call you not servants; for the
servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all
things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you.”
John 15:15
Do we,
indeed, serve at the pleasure of the Savior? It’s worth asking and perhaps,
adjusting, isn’t it? After all, we want to be the addressee of this scripture:
“His lord said unto him, ‘Well done, thou good
and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make
thee ruler over many things: enter thou into the joy of thy lord.’”
Matthew 25:21
Concerning the
servant then; let’s be one, in a new
and different way. Let’s start today.
“I am thy servant; give me understanding, that
I may know thy testimonies.”
Psalms 119:125
Copyright © 2015 by
Sheryle Cruse
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