Okay, I’m
attempting to simmer down. I just finished another viewing of the animated
Disney classic, “Sleeping Beauty.”
Like a lot females
out there, I have a complicated love/hate view of this fairytale princess
depiction.
Over the
years, I have bought into, absorbed, aspired to be like and have been resentful
of this ingénue archetype. I have run the gamut of emotions, largely because of
the all-important beauty factor which is mandatory for our young princess
heroine.
It was all I
could do to get through this latest viewing of the film.
For, right
off the bat, we have our staple Disney music, chiming in, emphasizing just how
beautiful our “Sleeping Beauty” is...
“One gift, my gift of beauty, gold of
sunshine in her hair. Lips that shame the red red rose. She’ll walk with
springtime wherever she goes.”
Sure, no
problem there. I always walk with springtime wherever I go. Sounds completely realistic.
And,
eventually, we’re at a critical moment in the story: our lead character,
Aurora, is age sixteen, the magic age of blossomed beauty.
However,
unfortunately, central to our fairytale plot, this reality is also entwined
with a death curse from our villain, Maleficent.
As Roseanne Roseannadanna famously quipped, “It’s always something.”
Anyway, back
to Aurora.
As she faces her sixteen-year-old self, one of
her trusty-dusty protector fairies places a crown on the teen’s head and
punctuates the moment with rhyme...
“A crown to wear in grace and
beauty/as is thy right and royal duty.”
(Me, rolling my eyes) Here we go again.
However,
before we all lose our crowned heads, let’s get an animated reality check of
what young Aurora does after this adornment: she cries.
And, as strange
as it may sound, I appreciate that moment and see a profound, truth-telling
lesson there. Beauty does not instantly, perfectly and forever make a person
happy. It is not the all-encompassing “cure-all.”
“Fearfully and wonderfully made...”
“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”
Psalm 139:14
I often write
about and explore this scripture. It has been instrumental to my own healing of
image and disorder issues.
And, at
first glance, yes, we can focus on physical appearance.
Indeed, how many benefits come when a person
can accept and embrace his/her face and body, as is?
Yet, in
solely focusing on the physicality of that scripture, we do ourselves a
disservice. We ignore, downplay or malign any and every other component of who
we are.
“Fearfully and wonderfully made,” in short, is not just about appearance.
So, with that in mind, let’s look at
a number of attributes to also acknowledge and honor. Embracing the totality of
who we are, body, mind, spirit and soul is healthy.
And isn’t that what recovery is all
about?
A Good Sense of Humor:
"A
merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the
spirit is broken."
Proverbs.
15:13
I can
already hear the murmuring and giggling. You and I know what this phrase means.
It is often code for “ugly.”
We have
heard this wording used to describe a person, usually female, who is less-than-aesthetically-
pleasing. It can be a desperate selling point when arranging a blind date.
Yet, this good
sense of humor thing cannot be underestimated.
“Humor is mankind’s greatest
blessing.”
Mark Twain
Indeed.
Science has
even weighed in on the health benefits of a merry heart.
·
Laughter relaxes the whole
body. A good, hearty
laugh relieves physical tension and stress, leaving your muscles relaxed for up
to 45 minutes after.
- Laughter boosts the immune system. Laughter decreases stress hormones and increases
immune cells and infection-fighting antibodies, thus improving your
resistance to disease.
- Laughter triggers the release of endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals. Endorphins
promote an overall sense of well-being and can even temporarily relieve
pain.
- Laughter protects the heart. Laughter improves the function of blood vessels and
increases blood flow, which can help protect you against a heart attack
and other cardiovascular problems.
“Laughter
is the Best Medicine”
Therefore,
let’s get to guffawing!
And again,
returning to our sweet little Aurora, we really don’t see much wit emanating
from her.
While she
is, of course, sweet natured (she’s our heroine, after all), if there’s any
humor captured within the fairytale, it usually involves those adorable Disney
woodland creatures being, well, adorable Disney woodland creatures. And the
interplay between those critters and Aurora has more to do with how enchanted
they are by her beauty, including her beautiful voice trilling ingénue
melodies.
No one was
astounded by her clever observations or her sardonic wit.
Nope.
Just a
beautiful blonde damsel singing her beautiful blonde head off in the forest.
Moving on,
we still have more “Fearfully
and wonderfully made” attributes to cover.
Personality:
Once again, this
word is also often used to describe “ugly.” It is as if personality and beauty
cannot occur simultaneously.
So, with
that being said, let’s hold up Aurora and see how she registers. Apart from her
sweet nature, does she really have a personality to her?
“Sugar and
Spice and everything nice” is a rhyming ideal we often set before the female gender.
But is that at the expense of a deeper human being?
Where is
personality encouraged in Aurora?
In her exile
to the woods, in an attempt to save her life, did she ever question, let alone,
challenge, why things were as they were?
Did she find
it necessary to expand her world view? Probably not. She simply carried on,
singing, interacting with cute animals.
She did,
however, mention her displeasure about not being around people, but it didn’t
go any further than that. Part of the reason, perhaps, was that she voiced this
complaint to woodland creatures. Still, there was no teenage rebellion, no attempt
to discover herself. Just sweet disposition Aurora.
Now, I’m not
against a sweet disposition; indeed, that is a personality trait. Neither am I
encouraging youth rioting. No.
But, in the
case of many a fairytale princess, Aurora included, as long as the beauty
criteria is met (and it is), that seems to be where the character development
stops.
And again,
that’s a disservice- to both genders.
For we need
to embrace the contradiction, the complexity, the duality of who we are. We
need to stop suppressing, denying or judging those realities.
Human beings
are multifaceted. We can be sweet...and not so sweet. We can be patient and
impetuous. We can be spontaneous and deliberate. We can be thoughtful and
silly. We can be so much, co-existing simultaneously.
And, that’s
not to be condemned. It’s to be celebrated.
After all,
look Who is doing some celebration about imperfect us already?
“The Lord
your God in your midst, the Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with
gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with
singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17
If we dare
to look at the trait of personality for its potential, we see there is power
and benefit. And again, that can transcend beauty.
“When
we read about the lives of famous people, we often see how personal values
guided them, propelling them to the top of their fields. This is the power of
every individual’s personality.”
We’re still
not done; we have more “Fearfully
and wonderfully made” traits to explore.
Kindness:
This
attribute is powerful, possessing tremendous relevance and meaning.
According to The Random Acts of Kindness
Foundation, some of the benefits include:
§ A rush of euphoria, followed by a longer
period of calm, after performing a kind act is often referred to as a “helper’s
high”, involving physical sensations and the release of the body’s natural
painkillers, the endorphins. This initial rush is then followed by a
longer-lasting period of improved emotional wellbeing.
§ Stress-related health problems improve
after performing kind acts. Helping reverses feelings of depression, supplies
social contact, and decreases feelings of hostility and isolation that can
cause stress, overeating, ulcers, etc.
§ A drop in stress may, for some people,
decrease the constriction within the lungs that leads to asthma attacks.
§ Regular club attendance, volunteering,
entertaining, or faith group attendance is the happiness equivalent of getting
a degree or more than doubling your income.
“The Health
Benefits of Kindness,” https://caydenskindness.wordpress.com/2013/07/28/the-health-benefits-of-kindness
So, with all of those perks, you would think there would
be more emphasis on its importance in our culture.
Yet, from the earliest ages of childhood, we see a quite
different reality concerning the kindness issue.
·
160,000
students miss school every day because of intimidation or the fear of an attack.
·
Nearly 10
percent of high school girls say they’ve been in a physical fight within the
past 12 months.”
Centers For Disease
Control and Prevention Report, 2004
“Chicks and Cliques
Confronts Mean Girls,” ABC News
These statistics were given a pop culture name via a 2004
movie which was box office gold, “Mean Girls.”
And, although Aurora was not considered to be a mean
girl, we did not, necessarily, see intentional acts of kindness from her.
This is not to “bully” our “Sleeping Beauty.”
Rather, it’s to illustrate how, again, our attention appears
to stop at her beauty.
That shouldn’t come as a surprise.
After all...
“‘…the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the
outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.’”
1 Samuel 16:7
Yeah.
Still, that doesn’t get us off the hook. We are
instructed we need to be kind. And the Proverbs 31 Woman template certainly
doesn’t provide us any excuse.
“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.”
Proverbs 31:20
But it’s not just directed at the female gender; kindness
is the call to everyone.
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:32
And, that’s what makes the kindness trait so powerful-
and dangerous if it is absent.
Whether it’s females or males, what is the message being
taught?
Do we place an enormous amount of pressure on the females
to be kind, at all cost, while giving males an excuse to ignore the character
trait because, “boys will be boys?”
Do we reinforce how, really, all that matters is the
outward appearance?
Do we model the
toxic gender role dance, teaching both sexes to disregard anything which
doesn’t appear as an outward manifestation of aesthetically pleasing image and
beauty?
Anything
short of appreciating, modelling and living the spirit of kindness, again, does
us a disservice.
We need to
wake up to that truth.
Moving on to
our next “Fearfully and
wonderfully made” trait, we turn our attention to... Wisdom.
“WISDOM is the principal thing. Therefore get WISDOM...”
Proverbs 4:7
But do we always get it?
Come on, what do you think?
Nevertheless, again, there are benefits concerning ntelligence: and
that’s just involves the information factor.
·
The brain
is a physical organ, and like other organs or muscles in the body it can
be trained to be fitter and more efficient.
·
Your IQ is
not just your ability to solve problems – it is a measure of your overall brain
fitness and efficiency.
·
Brain plasticity – the ability of brain to reorganize itself
by growing new brain cells or connections.
- Energy supply to the brain – particularly when it’s
working hard
With a smarter brain, there
are all-round cognitive benefits for attentional focus and grit, problem
solving efficiency, learning capacity and memory – much like there are
all-round physical benefits to being in good shape physically.
“High IQ & Intelligence Benefits,” http://www.highiqpro.com/high-iq-benefits
Indeed, data, facts and figures all scratch the spiritual surface of this
life-altering characteristic. For wisdom is the application of vital
resources...
“the quality of having experience, knowledge, and good judgment.”
And, if we look to Aurora for
this trait, we are left wanting.
A large part of that
lackluster display of wisdom is her age. She’s all of sixteen years old. Not to
pick on teenagers, but there is a wisdom which only comes with age.
Life experience- or the lack
thereof- impacts the reality of wisdom.
“Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will
watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it
cost all you have, get understanding.”
Proverbs 4:6-7
And, as mentioned earlier
concerning the personality trait, there did appear to be a lack of complexity
to Aurora.
This was even in spite of her
traumatic circumstances: death curse wished upon her, uprooted from her parents
and exile to the forest to live hidden from view.
That naïve perspective, therefore,
did not trigger the much needed discernment required, especially as she
wandered into encounters with Maleficent and, of course, that dreaded spinning
wheel.
As isolated, young and unquestioning
as she was, she did not pause to consider such things as ulterior motives,
jealousy and reality of a dangerous world.
Nope.
Perhaps it had to do with,
again, those cute woodland critters. I suppose if you’re inundated with enough
adorable bluebirds and squirrels, harmonizing with you, telling you how magnificent
you are, life might look quite rosy.
And, again, the harmful fairytale
message surfaces. It states how being beautiful is, indeed, enough to save you
and, of course, make your way in the world. There is no need for knowledge,
critical thinking and going beyond surface level images. Just go along your
merry little way and be beautiful. It’s nothing to worry your pretty little
head about.
Scripture, however,
contradicts fairytale. Indeed, there is spiritual importance placed on wisdom.
Again, we return to the Proverbs
31 Woman.
“She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction
is on her tongue.”
Proverbs 31:26
Proverbs 31:26
We just
can’t seem to get away from her. Yet, however unfairly, there is the
expectation- if not full-on pressure- for the female gender to, in one way or
another, “have it all together.” Unrealistic? Yes.
Yet, no
matter how we slice it, wisdom is doable. After all, we each have the fruit of
the spirit:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such
there is no law.”
Galatians 5:22-23
The question
we need to answer for ourselves is this: do I cooperate with that fruit?
I know. It’s
maddening.
Yet, there
IS method to the madness.
I am
focusing so much of the inaccurate image message of “Sleeping Beauty” and other
like fairytales precisely because the
sentiments they espouse have little-to-nothing to do with actual, relevant
life. They promise an arrival of a perfect Prince Charming (snicker here) and a
“happily ever after” kingdom in which no one ever has a bad day again.
Now, I am a
romantic; I “love love.” But come on!
And this
leads back to the de-emphasis of what is truly important: those non-superficial
character traits. Yes, it is about the inner beauty stuff trumping the outer
beauty.
It’s not
because beauty is bad. Rather, it’s because the comprehensive, complex person
has a better chance to experience the opened door of potential.
“But as it is written, ‘Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard,
neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared
for them that love him.’”
1 Corinthians 2:9
What if, all
this focus on the external distracts us-and keeps us- from our truly unique untapped
potential?
What if we
miss out on our purpose by obsessing on some subtle form of fairytale mirror?
Or worse:
what if we never see ourselves- and accept ourselves- as the spectacular,
breathtaking, awe-inspiring, purpose-filled creation of the Most High?
“For by him were all
things created, that are in heaven, and that are in earth, visible and
invisible, whether they be
thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all things were created by
him, and for him.”
Colossians 1:16
That would
truly be a shame.
Furthermore,
it would be negligence of our true “right and royal duty.”
“And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs
with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.”
Romans 8:17
There is
simply too much greatness in us to permit that from happening, save one thing:
our will.
What will we do then with that?
Copyright
© 2017 by Sheryle Cruse
