Sunday, June 30, 2019
“Friendships: Silver and Gold…Really?”
“Friendships: Silver and
Gold…Really?” discusses our relationship clutter.
Friday, June 28, 2019
Thursday, June 27, 2019
A Secret Club Agenda?
“Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden
that will not be known.”
“Fight Club” is a powerful film, cemented within pop culture. It’s notorious, in particular, for the famous line of its main character, Tyler Durden’s, often quoted within our society...
“Welcome to Fight Club. The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!”
And it got me thinking about secrecy.
I understand the lure of club membership. There are benefits to joining such an entity: socialization, improvement of like-minded skills and, of course, the all-powerful “sense of community.”
Many of them have rituals, handshakes, pledges and rules of conduct- and yes, quite often, those elements are “secret.”
Indeed, for many of us in recovery, that also applies to the numerous Twelve Step programs out there; we do see the impact of people gathered together under a common cause/interest, in a safe “anonymous” setting.
But, with that being said, it still brings up the risk for potential mindsets and behaviors that are far from constructive.
And, at that center lies secrecy. Here’s where the unhealthy crutch arises instead of the ideal focal point, actual recovery.
As the old saying goes, “You’re as sick as your secrets.”
Secrecy’s toxic impact in a “club setting,” first discounts the necessary need to admit our powerlessness, as referenced by Steps 1-3.
- We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.
- We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
“Secret-keeping” enables the person afflicted to keep going about his/her usual routine, with absolutely no acknowledgement of one’s own powerlessness. The harmful delusion asserts itself: he/she is still running their addiction-fueled show.
And, this delusion further flourishes, as long as the addict keeps attending meetings; all appears well. The attendance serves as a “smoke and mirrors” distraction for destructive truth. As long as everyone is looking at the meeting attendance, no one is actually paying attention to a member’s “using” agenda.
The addict is at the meeting in body only.
And, before anyone catches it, a cavalier attitude can insidiously extend to Steps 4-7, the actual wrongdoing of the addict.
4. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of
ourselves.
- We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Emboldened by his/her hush-hush “fight club,” the addict now feels no need to do that necessary recovery inventory. He/she is playing the secretive game of lip service with no action behind it- and it continues to go unchallenged.
And, again, the addict may even believe he/she is “doing the work,” as they passively show up to meetings. They may believe that is enough.
In full denial, steps 8-10, therefore, are a moot point to the addict, when in direct contrast to “secret keeping.”
- We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.
A toxic pattern repeats itself, only now, it expands its reach. The addict reasons, “If there is no need to honestly address, examine, discuss and change what I’m doing, why should I do change my behavior with other people?
The secretive all-important agenda, to the “crutch-y addict,” likewise, perpetuates its resistance for the remaining steps, eleven and twelve.
11. We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him,
praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
Again, if we are “as sick as our secrets,” then what is our approach to these last two steps?
Are we transparent?
Or, are we content to avoid the work and put on the mask of committed recovering addict instead?
Perhaps we think we’ll “take things more seriously” at a later time.
Perhaps we believe really aren’t “that bad,” and, therefore, don’t need the implement the steps in our lives.
Perhaps we think we have the best of both worlds as we keep and practice our secret, destructive behaviors: we have the social interaction benefit without having to give up any of our vices. We.ve got it great. We’re getting away with it.
Except...we’re not.
“For nothing is hidden except to
be made manifest; nor is anything secret except to come to light. If anyone has
ears to hear, let him hear.”
Nope. You
can’t keep a secret, especially from the Most High God...
“Thou
hast set our iniquities before thee, our secret sins in the light of thy
countenance.”
Psalms
90:8
So, there’s
that. Buzzkill.
Therefore,
especially concerning the realm of our all-important recovery, it would do us
some good to come back with this response...
“... Cleanse thou me from secret faults.”
Psalms
19:12
It’s not about shame.
Rather, it’s about the healthy checkup of what we’re really doing.
Are we truly in recovery? Are we pretending we are? Are we going through
the motions?
The “Fight Club” speech
states...
“...The first rule of Fight Club is: you do not talk about Fight Club. The second rule of Fight Club is: you DO NOT talk about Fight Club!”
According to scripture,
that secretive perspective is a vain imagination which exalts itself against
God and His Word (2 Corinthians 10:5).
And it does not profit
us. We may feel like we are “getting away with it,” but come on, is there
really unshakable security if we insist on secrecy?
And really, are we
blessed by that secrecy?
Honestly, we know that
answer is “no.”
“He who covers his sins will not prosper: but whoever
confesses and forsakes them will have mercy.”
Proverbs 28:13
What are our secrets?
How are they playing themselves out?
“You’re as
sick as your secrets.”
Is that our true club
membership?
Copyright © 2019 by
Sheryle Cruse
It Ain’t What They Call You...
“But now thus says the LORD that created you...‘Fear not: for
I have redeemed you, I have called you by your name; you are mine.’”
Isaiah 43:1
What’s in a name?
We cannot get around that question. From the start, we are named. As life continues, we bestow more names to children, pets, toys, places, projects, et cetera.
This naming business is far from insignificant. Consequently, it can often subject to negative, extremely personal and abusive behavior. It can challenge the recovery from our individual hurts, histories and obstacles.
I’ve personally encountered this toxicity. I have had people call me derogatory names; profanity and misogyny have often been at the center of those names.
It’s startling, infuriating and potentially harmful to my health and recovery. Often reeling from these encounters, my only recourse is to run to God in prayer.
Recently, I came across a social media post about name calling. And it shed some insight regarding personal attacks.
Here are these reasons behind negative name calling revealed...
Bully
Cover up mistakes
Cause confusion
Deceive observers
Discredit or invalidate
opponent
Disarm opponent
Distract or divert
attention
Draw attention
Encourage criticism
Instigate reaction
Manipulate you into
compliance
Manipulate perception
or mislead
Manipulate your beliefs
and values
Project blame onto
others
Ranting
Reinforce social stigma
Personal Agenda: A Huge “Why”
“For where envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every
evil thing are there.”
James 3:16
As we look at this list of “reasons,” it doesn’t take long to see how a personal agenda is behind it all.
And it can become overwhelming to discern and deal with that often destructive personal agenda. Indeed, envy and self-seeking behaviors are often found there. Both share unrealistic expectation, entitlement and, yes, selfishness. Possessing these attributes is human. Like it or not, each of us is subject to falling into this humanity.
With that said, however, it still is not an excuse to eviscerate someone’s character, feelings or circumstances.
Misunderstanding is frequently at the root of negative name calling. We don’t see and know the entirety of a person, their history and their situations. So, in our uninformed perspective, we somehow justify, with unchallenged conviction, the determination they “deserve” said name attached to them.
Someone gets called a profanity, a slur or any other variation of an unflattering, hurtful word.
And here’s where we are confronted with a choice. In that unpleasant, real moment, how do we respond to a derogatory name hurled at us?
“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”
W. C. Fields
This tests everything: our faith, our character and our triggers. Over the years, I have tried various tactics concerning the name calling issue.
I have...
...ignored it, doing my best to not dignify it with a response...
“He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not
his mouth...”
Isaiah 53:7
(Yeah, this Jesus kind of response was definitely not easy)...
...just walked away...
“Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest
not in him the lips of
knowledge.”
Proverbs 14:7
(Again, it’s NOT easy).
...attempted to reason with the person, offering a plea for understanding and civility...
“Blessed are
the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”
Matthew 5:9
(Oh, don’t get me started here)...
...responded to verbal attack by stating, “Stop it!”
“Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,'
and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”
Matthew
5:37
(This, I’ve found, can shut all communication down)...
...put the particular name through my questioning filter, attempting to assess if there was anything “valid” to the incident...
“Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and
lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalms 139:23-24
(As if I’m not enough of a masochist already)...
And here’s where I run into a gigantic sticking point: negative name calling is DESTRUCTIVE, not CONSTRUCTIVE criticism.
“Even so the tongue is a little
member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire
kindleth! And the tongue is a
fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth
the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire
of hell.”
James 3:5-6
Unfortunately, when a person is in this reactionary mode,
they are often not the least bit interested in resolving, understanding or
being peaceful. They, because of fear, hurt or frustration, disguised as
personal offense, often only want to retaliate.
Again, no one is immune from being in this place.
Nevertheless, it still targets a pointy question for the name caller:
Why are you saying what you are saying?
It comes back to personal human agenda.
But Thank God, God is different...
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my
ways, says the Lord. For as the
heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My
thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
And because of our unflattering agenda portrait, we need to return to God on this issue.
When imperfect human beings make the choice to hurt with untrue, but painful verbal attacks, how much more do we need to reaffirm God’s position on the name calling topic?
Called By MY NAME...
“Everyone who is called by my name, whom I created for my
glory, whom I formed and made."
Isaiah 43:7
We need to learn, apply and bandage ourselves with how God sees us and how He names us.
(Once again, this is not easy).
When painful verbal abuse is launched our way, we need to keep first things first.
Our First Love: That Settles It...
“We love
him, because he first loved us.”
1 John 4:19
Our inherent value and lovability are secure and decided upon long before we were ever in a circumstance which challenged us to believe a harmful lie of a degrading name.
We were specifically, intentionally, created in His Image and called good...
“And God saw everything that he had made, and, behold, it was
very good...”
Genesis 1:31
“And God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness...’ So
God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and
female created he them.”
Genesis 1:26-27
And after our creation, God celebrates us...
“The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty
One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with
His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17
That’s an important thing to keep in mind whenever we’re in a name calling moment.
I mean, let’s face it, in that uncomfortable scenario, there is nothing celebratory going on.
Why HIS Name Calling?
“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”
Isaiah 43:4
So, whenever we feel diminished in a negative context, we need God’s affirming naming process. It comes from an agenda of love.
“The LORD hath appeared of old unto
me, saying, ‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with
lovingkindness have I drawn thee.’”
Jeremiah 31:3
At surface level, this feels like a no brainer.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know- God loves us.
Yet, when we are bombarded with vicious, degrading and hurtful words, words which often convince us of our worthlessness, this important love thing can be incredibly difficult to accept.
Free To Transform Because God is Decided...
“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”
Isaiah 41:9
Therefore, knowing God is already decided about His love and decision to choose us can, however slightly, make it easier for us to absorb.
And maybe this absorption can facilitate our trust inthe grace-infused process of transformation, even in spite of our wounds and issues.
“But we all, with
unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being
transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of
the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 3:18
One of the reasons I frequently refer to 2 Corinthians 3:18 and an entire slew of unconditional love scriptures as I write, speak and mentor, is because life, without any sugarcoating, is brutal. I’ve encountered many along the way who are walking wounded from someone else’s fiery tongue.
Therefore, part of the ongoing healing process is to frequently remind ourselves of these love and value scriptures.
I wish I could say I am completely finished and healed. I would love to say it’s all resolved.
But I would be lying if I said that.
My struggle, to this day, resides in not just the memories of days and words gone by, but also in the current biting experiences from people, especially when they are family, I experience to this day.
This, unfortunately, is a common reality for many of us out there. From what name, insult or slur are you trying to process and heal? Who said it? Do you take over where they leave off, calling yourself this horrible name for yourself?
While the recovery journey of truth, acquiring
tools and forgiveness unfolds for each of us, there’s one more thing which
needs to also be mentioned: Matthew 12:36.
“But I say unto you, That every idle
word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of
judgment.”
Do I offer this scripture because of the “get ‘em” promise of
vengeance on our enemies?
No.
Rather, it is to remind us all, myself included, of the
reality of individual accountability. Even on our best day, we still can only
control our own actions. That does not guarantee self-control and appropriate
behavior will spread to anyone else. So, yes, there is the risk of someone
else’s choice for bad and hurtful behavior to be aimed at us- and name calling
is included in that.
It’s important to believe God’s love and value estimation concerning
us is more powerful than any person’s opinion and the toxic results emanating from it.
Again, to quote W.C. Fields...
“It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.”
Let’s commit to the challenge of accepting ourselves, called
by our true names!
“...‘I have called you by your name;
you are mine.’”
Isaiah 43:1
Copyright © 2019 by
Sheryle Cruse
For Every Comment, For Every Like
I recently came across an image post on the internet. It was a female’s body, in workout gear. And it was accompanied by this statement:
“For Every Comment,
I’ll do 10 sit ups, For Every Like, I’ll do 5 squats. Go, go, go!”
Furthermore, this post was also followed by a series of emoticons to emphasize its message: three arm curled biceps and one gold trophy.
(Sigh... Here we go again...)
Exercise, goals, striving for improvement/perfection...This is where I squirm, faced with posts as these.
Indeed, there is much emphasis on fitness in today’s culture. There are countless gyms, trainers, exercise equipment, programs, workout clothes and shoes, as well as a variety of athletic activities from which to choose. It’s overwhelming.
Yet there’s still a rise in eating disorders and in such health issues as childhood obesity and Type 2 Diabetes. How do we explain that?
I believe it has a lot to do with focus and priority, the personal, daily decision to put exercise and health in a healthy balance for our lives.
For God, in fact, tells us that, yes, there is some benefit to exercise...
“For bodily exercise profits
little: but godliness is profitable to all things, having promise of the life
that now is, and of that which is to come.”
1 Timothy 4:8
It lowers blood pressure, combats heart disease; it also improves circulation and mood, just to name a few positive results.
But, like anything used to excess, it can harm, even kill. That’s what it could have done for me, back in the day, when I exercised for six or more hours a day, while starving myself at the same time. That was not God’s Will. That was not profitable.
“For God is not a God of disorder
but of peace…”
1 Corinthians 14:33
So what is profitable? Moderate exercise that is a part of life, but not our ENTIRE life. If exercise is preventing you from experiencing other people and things in your life, to the point of disruption, that is not profitable.
So, this importance of “every like and comment,” where did it start?
I believe its genesis is the heart, usually that of a wounded heart...
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of
it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23
“For where your treasure is, there will your
heart be also.”
Matthew 6:21; Luke 12:34
Long story short: we believe the solution to our pain is found in the external, including the external appearance.
“‘…man looks on the outward
appearance...’”
1 Samuel 16:7
We shortchange ourselves, not taking into account the entirety of the outward appearance situation, especially from a spiritual perspective...
“‘…For the Lord
sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord
looks on the heart.’”
1 Samuel 16:7
Yet, we value other people’s validation over God’s, more often than not. I suppose, one can argue, it’s because with man, there is the 3-D evidence. God, is nebulous; we view Him via the if-y faith tactic.
So, in our hearts somewhere, perhaps God is not “as real” as other people... and their opinions of us.
And that can set us up for a snare...
“The fear of man bringeth a snare...”
Proverbs 29:25
We fear other people’s disapproval, along with our own fragile sense of self. We want to belong; we want to be accepted, liked and included...
“Do not be conformed to this world...”
Yet God tells us there is health and blessing if we prioritize Him, above anything of this world, appearance issues included.
“Beloved, I wish above all things
that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.”
3 John 1:2
“...whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.”
Proverbs 29:25
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by
the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of
God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
Doing so is more important and beneficial than any like, comment or opinion. Do we want something which is fleeting or something which lasts? It’s up to us to decide.
Therefore, let’s view ourselves, most importantly, through God’s eyes and comments, not anyone else’s.
“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”
Isaiah 43:4
“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying,
‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness
have I drawn thee.’”
Jeremiah 31:3
And let that influence how we take care of ourselves, including outward appearance and exercise matters.
“Don't you know that you yourselves are God's
temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?”
1
Corinthians 3:16
Let’s believe that and accept that in everything we do!
Copyright © 2019 by
Sheryle Cruse
Blame or Stewardship?
“Blame holds us back.
Responsibility moves us forward. Constant self-blame is just as irresponsible
as insisting that others are always to blame.”
Thom Rutledge
For those of us struggling with addiction and disorder, it is not too long before we encounter blame. It is an insidious creature; it is virtually impossible to escape.
Since our addictive natures are usually heavily intertwined with other complicated life issues, like abuse and trauma, blame often surfaces as a coping device, used to enable us to simply function in our lives. Survival is as far as we can go; healthy flourishing appears to be an out of reach luxury.
Rutledge’s quote is a “no brainer,” at least, to our logical minds. It’s that emotional world, however, which trips us up and prevents us from facing, addressing and handling blame within our addictive reality, in a healthy manner.
I know this is a large chunk of the recovery work I, myself, do. And honestly, the jury’s still out on how well I am doing with it all. Objectivity is quite difficult to achieve.
But, a key factor which helps in my recovery process is that of Stewardship.
“Moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found
trustworthy.”
I believe we cannot even hope to attain any rung on the recovery ladder if we don’t, at least, acknowledge that blame is in the room, no matter how subtle or obvious it may be.
“One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in
much, and one who is dishonest in a very little is also dishonest in much.”
No one is unscathed by it. It’s been there from the start. Check out the Creation Story in Genesis just to see its origins for humanity.
And, before we get too caught up in despair and discouraging feelings about blame, telling ourselves, “it’s too difficult; it cannot be done,” the challenge invites us to keep an open mind about the stewardship principle, what it is... and is not.
According to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, Stewardship is defined as...
“the conducting, supervising, or managing of something; especially the careful and responsible management of something entrusted to one's care”
Again, before we get too overwhelmed, we need to recognize the absence of one particular word in that definition: perfection.
And that has been a guiding and healing recovery revelation for me: stewardship is not perfection.
That’s an important thing to remember in this addiction/recovery reality. In our human, imperfect experience, there is no such thing as perfectly healed.
“The heart knoweth his own bitterness; and a
stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy.”
Proverbs 14:10
Another recovery adage I have come across as I bump along in life is this: “Hurt people hurt people.” And, of course, the emphasis here, in any recovery domain, is the necessity of forgiveness. It’s the other side of the blame coin.
We’re told over and over we cannot move forward or begin to heal if we refuse to forgive. And that includes the forgiving ourselves.
And so, the statement, “Hurt people hurt people” becomes the self-inflicted wound all too easily.
I know I may be taken to task here for being too self-indulgent when I say, for that reason alone, our choice to value better stewardship of the blame issue is to our individual advantage.
“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as
wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.”
We need to get downright mercenary with our stance on it. We need to take that approach because it is, indeed, the most personal.
Everyone else aside, recovery and blame issues ultimately reside solely within each of us. And, no matter how we may try, we still cannot escape ourselves.
And, one more thing concerning stewardship as a treatment to the addiction/blame factor: it is the opportunity for us to use our gifts.
I direct you to the passage of Matthew 25:20-21...
“And he who had
received the five talents came forward, bringing five talents more, saying,
‘Master, you delivered to me five talents; here I have made five talents more.’
His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been
faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your
master.’”
I know it may be an
extreme stretch here, but if we view our addiction struggles through the filter
of being gifted with talents, the stewardship principle takes on an even more personal
and meaningful tone. Our recovery is, in fact, the significant soul work we
need to do to better ourselves- and others.
Maybe we can even see
the resemblance to our Savior’s Gethsemane moment. No, we wouldn’t choose this
pain for ourselves; likewise, our Savior, Himself, even tried to bargain
against HIS purpose.
“Going a little
farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass
from him. ‘Abba Father,’ he said, ‘everything is possible
for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.’”
Mark 14:36
Nevertheless, we have
the lives and the struggles we have. So, the question remains: what are we
going to do about that?
The Most High never
placed any limits on the promise of 2
Corinthians 3:18:
“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the
glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to
glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
A transformation
process is in effect.
We are different today
than we were yesterday.
And tomorrow, we be
different than today.
Blame- of anyone,
including ourselves, curtails the full potential of our glory transformation
process. Blame does not benefit us. Yes, pain happened to us; injustice
happened to us. And it terrible and agonizing. But it is not unique.
“…time and chance happeneth to them all.”
Ecclesiastes 9:1
So, if we can challenge
our thinking about the blame issue, taking on stewardship concerning even it, perhaps,
we can view it as part of the deeper spiritual work which has been entrusted to
us.
That’s right, I said
entrusted.
Addiction- pain- blame-
the stewardship principle itself- ALL entrusted to you and I right now.
What are we going to do
with that?
Copyright © 2019 by
Sheryle Cruse
Wednesday, June 26, 2019
The Spiritual Power In Discovering Your Audience
Coming from a theatre background, I’m no stranger to an audience.
“All the world's a stage... And one man in his time plays
many parts...”
In William
Shakespeare's play, “As You Like It,” Act II Scene VII, purpose-filled
life is compared to that of a theatre stage.
How much more
does that apply for those of us recovering from addiction, disorder or abuse?
Besides my
theatre background, I also have an eating disorder history as well. In college,
I battled both anorexia and bulimia.
Indeed, during
my sophomore year, desperate in my bulimic behavior, I began to dumpster dive...
“...
I’d try to play it off, pretending everything was normal as people passed by me
scrounging in the dumpster... in broad daylight... I couldn’t hide any longer
from others what I was doing... people were noticing...” *
*Excerpt from Sheryle Cruse’s book, “Thin
Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder”
This was an unwelcomed audience for me.
Nevertheless, people saw. And, no matter how I tried, I could
not escape the Presence of the Most High.
For a long time, I fought Him.
Yet, after college, I hit a faith crisis. I wrestled with Elohim
and He revealed I had to face my eating disorder reality.
“... in the midst of all of this disorder,
anger, guilt, shame, ugliness and desperation, I found myself tired and wanting
Him more than anything I’d ever wanted before...
...
I had to make a decision... I decided ‘Fine God, if others know about this,
fine. I’m tired.’
...As
I was lying in bed, the picture of... Jairus’ daughter flashed... I remembered…
‘Little girl, I say unto you,
arise...’ *
I needed to deal with my heart issues.
“Above
all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
Proverbs
4:23
Still, it didn’t change daunting reality. The heart is tricky,
even for the best of us.
“The
heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”
Jeremiah
17:9
So, how
is it even possible to deal with our issues?
I
believe it begins when we allow a Divine search warrant to take place.
“Search
me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
Try me and know my anxious thoughts;
And
see if there be any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.”
And lead me in the everlasting way.”
Psalms
139:23-24
Jairus’
daughter (Mark 5:35-43) was that search warrant, in not just my
eating disorder reality, but concerning my life as a whole.
It led me
to my imperfect faith; it exposed me as vulnerable. I needed help beyond
my own efforts to make anything happen.
“...
I found a Scripture that summed up who I was and what I was going through.
“...I
do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"”
Mark
9:24
That
was me! I knew I couldn’t be enough, love enough, believe enough, and have
faith enough unless God helped me...”*
At
first, this realization felt paralyzing. And then, there was peace. I had to
surrender; the Most High God is in control and I was not.
“…I am
God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known
the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say,
'My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.' From the east I
summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I
have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do.”
Isaiah
46:9-11
Before
the faith-changing revelation of Jairus’ daughter and Mark 9:24, I believed no
good could come from my eating disorder reality. I hid, lied and ran away from
it. I believed facing it, owning it and then sharing it with others was
the worst-case scenario.
Yet, only
when I reluctantly uttered, ‘Fine God, if others know about this, fine,’ did I cross from
oppression to freedom...from wounding to healing.
“‘Then
you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’.”
John
8:32
It’s
been years since my book was published. And, as I have faced and shared my once
taboo eating disorder history, Elohim has helped me to experience greater healing.
I have discovered commonality. It shattered the lie: I was not alone.
And
neither are you.
No
matter the trauma, addiction, pain or circumstance, there is a glory to come from
it. You may be mired in a deep pit right now. This, however, is not the end of you.
Instead,
“The Great I AM” has you positioned at a new place of blessings.
“See,
I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making
a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”
Isaiah
43:19
And that
includes the audience you are meant to inspire and help.
“All the world's a stage...”
So what
are you to do with yours?
The Creator
of all has astounding things ahead for your life.
“...
Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the
reason for the hope that you have...”
1
Peter 3:15
Will
you take the stage?
Copyright © 2019 by
Sheryle Cruse
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)