Not All Surprises Are Bad

In recovery from my disordered eating and image issues over the years, one thing I had to face was the complicated, unresolved father/daughter factor in my life. No, I did not get the loving father/daughter relationship I so craved.

It’s taken me years to connect the dots concerning my disordered mindset. Unfortunately, yes, the family environment I experienced played a role.

Families of people with Anorexia Nervosa:

•• Enmeshed, overprotective, conflict-avoiding

•• Unresponsive to patient’s self-expressions

Families of People with Bulimia Nervosa:

•• Parents are critical and detached

•• Characterized by hostile enmeshment

•• Non-nurturing

•• Emotionally unresponsive

Ohio State University FactSheet. Used with permission

Still, within that reality, I’ve had to look at a much bigger factor: the spiritual one. And a large part of my healing has come from seeing how God, as Father, intentionally chose, wanted, desired and loved me, regardless of what my human father did or did not do.

“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”

Isaiah 43:4

“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”

Isaiah 41:9

“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, ‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.’”

Jeremiah 31:3

 “The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”

Zephaniah 3:17

And, although I cannot change what was concerning my imperfect reality with my dad, I can choose to embrace the real and eternal truth of my father/daughter relationship with God, the ultimate Father.

In the series, “Mad Men,” an episode entitled, “The Fog,” captured a beautiful exchange between the protagonist Don Draper and his daughter, Sally.

 

In the scene, father and daughter discuss the birth of the family’s second son. Everyone thought it would be a girl, to which Draper responds…

“I thought you were going to be a boy. Not all surprises are bad.”

This heartwarming bit of dialogue again reminds me of how God views each of us through His Fatherly, loving lens. We are specifically loved and chosen.

 “All things were made by him; and without him was not anything made that was made.”

John 1:3

There was no regret or second thought about us, about who He created us to be.

Perhaps, you’ve not had the unconditional love experience with your parents. Maybe disorder and addiction have left their marks, fracturing family relationships and healthy self-perceptions. Don’t believe the lie you were a mistake, an accident, unplanned. Nothing could be further from the truth as far as God is concerned! You may have been a “surprise” to someone, but you have been intentionally, spiritually created, with purpose, by God, from the start.

Again…

“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”

Isaiah 43:4

“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”

Isaiah 41:9

It’s not too late. Right now, God loves each of us, is thinking about us and desires a wonderful future, filled with restorative love, healing and blessings. Right now.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Therefore, choose to embrace a loving Father Who knew exactly what He was doing when He created you.

“...I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

Psalm 139:14

And yes, you will be surprised at just how much, how completely and how uniquely, He will love and connect with you!

Indeed, not all surprises are bad!

Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse

 

 

 

Let's remember more than pretty!!!

Suffer For Beauty?

 “Pain is beauty.”

As a female, I certainly heard that phrase and took it to heart. I believed the lie that it was a female’s obligation to endure pain and suffering for beauty. Hence, my dark battle with eating disorders developed.

Recently, I caught a fashion ad which disturbed me.

Fashion photographer Danil Golovkin did a layout in which she featured model, Anastasiya Kolbasko. This, in my opinion, was a glamourized depiction of eating disorder behavior.

Rather than wearing the jewelry designs, the blonde model “eats” the adornments of gold styled by Liliya Simonyan.

But, the photos go further. There is posing of the model and the jewelry to suggest actual purging; in some photos, Anastasiya appears to be vomiting the jewelry. And, in every photo of the series, of course, the model has dead eyes and looks, quite frankly, cadaverous.

Triggering. That’s an oft-used word for those of us recovering from disordered eating and harmful, negative body image issues.

Looking at this “artistic” layout, I couldn’t help but think “ding, ding, ding!” Triggered ALL OVER the place!!!

And it angers me, because it represents rampant thoughtlessness and reiterates how harmful images need to be heeded, embraced and promoted.

I don’t know if any of these people involved in the creation of this ad had any experience with the horror of eating disorders. Perhaps none of them had loved ones touched by these painful disordered conditions. But still, is there no sensitivity?

“Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.”

Romans 14:13

“But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to them that are weak.”

1 Corinthians 8:9

And it, yet again, it brings the importance of God’s real estimation of us, our value and yes, our beauty…

The Song of Solomon:

2:14: “O my dove…let me see your form…for your form is lovely.”

4:1: “Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes...”

4:7: “Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.”

6:4: “Thou art beautiful, O my love...”

 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

I guess we all have to work overtime focusing on these scriptural images, just to cancel out the images like this “glamour” ad campaign.

May we all absorb Psalm 139:14 as a defense against the warped fashion image messages hurled our way…

“...I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse

 

At the Pleasure of the Savior (A Big Recovery Key)

Sheryle Cruse discusses the importance of service to a healthy recovery process in April 6^th’s Christians In Recovery.

http://christians-in-recovery.org/Tools_12Steps_Step3_At-the-Pleasure-of-the-Savior

 

 

He is Risen!

Gethsemane: Code For...

 

“I don’t want to do this.”

 We’ve uttered that statement frequently in our lives.

This time of year, there’s a great deal of emphasis on Jesus. As we prepare for Resurrection Sunday, we read and remind ourselves just how this whole thing came to be: hope, salvation and reunion with God. It didn’t just happen.

And a large part of it depends on Gethsemane.

Yes, Jesus is amazing and loving. But He still had a night of decision. Hours away from being crucified, there was a real moment; He didn’t want to do it.

 

 “They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, ‘Sit here while I pray.’ He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. ‘My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.’

 Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that if possible the hour might pass from him. ‘Abba Father,’ he said, ‘everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.’”

Mark 14:32-36

Still, He obeyed. He placed God’s Will over His own. This was a life and death matter.

And this would have been a wonderful time to see He was rewarded for it. But things got worse...

“Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. ‘Simon,’ he said to Peter, ‘are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch for one hour? Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.’

Once more he went away and prayed the same thing. When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. They did not know what to say to him.

Returning the third time, he said to them, ‘Are you still sleeping and resting? Enough! The hour has come. Look, the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!’”

Mark 14:37- 42

And yes, it gets still worse from there. We know what happens. And that is extremely important.

But we often bypass the Gethsemane moment. And we need to view that instance with equal importance. After all, Jesus could have said “no.”

What is it in your life and in my life which makes us respond with, “I don’t want to do this?”

There is something.

As we reflect on Resurrection Sunday and what Jesus did, let’s also examine our lives, what we do- and do not want - to do.

Gethsemane- what is that to each one of us?

Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse

 

 

Happy Passover!