Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Indifference...


The Thinspo Slave Market




“Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.”


The artist Jean-Leon Gérôme’s 1884 work, “A Roman Slave Market” is a startling example of image on display.

 It portrays a naked woman, up for sale to an enthusiastic crowd. It made me think of how image, especially female image, is offered up so easily and cheaply in our culture today.

Some of its most extreme manifestations, unfortunately, extend to disordered eating and body image issues.


And nothing captures disordered image up for grabs like that of the “thinsperation” or “thinspo” movement. This internet phenomenon is epidemic, with blogs, photos, essays and posts, glorifying emaciation.

“In a 2009 survey by the Katholieke Universiteit Leuven of 711 Flemish high school students aged 13–17, 12.6% of girls and 5.9% of boys reported having visited pro-ana websites at least once...

…Pro-ana sites can negatively impact cognition and affect. Women who viewed a pro-ana site, but not control sites focused on fashion or home décor, experienced an increase in negative affect and decreases in self-esteem, appearance self-efficacy, and perceived attractiveness. They also reported feeling heavier and being more likely to think about their weight. The effects of perfectionism, BMI, internalization of the thin ideal, and pre-existing ED symptomatology as moderators of negative affect were comparable to chance, suggesting that pro-ana websites can affect a broad spectrum of individuals, not simply those with ED characteristics…”


It all comes back to dangerous coveting and just how far that coveting can damage us, especially those of us who are  struggling with any form of eating disorder or body image challenge.

There’s a concept out there; “what you focus on the most, becomes the strongest in your life.”

And, we know all too well how weight loss obsession and body dissatisfaction can target the female population. After all, this statement still holds relevance:

 “The #1 wish of girls 11-17 years old is to lose weight.”

 “Body Wars: Making Peace with Women’s Bodies,” by Margo Maine, Ph.D.

But, unfortunately, now we also have tiny tots, both male and female, who are afraid to eat sugar or fat because they’re afraid to get fat themselves. We have toddlers and preschoolers excessively exercising, weighing and measuring themselves and their food, again, for fear of getting fat.

What we focus on the most…

“Little children, keep yourselves from idols. Amen.”

1 John 5:21

Coveting. We want what we see. So, if we see dangerous, unhealthy and emaciated images of who we should be, is it any wonder why there are so many of us “dying to be thin?” There is, indeed, a thinspo slave market going on.

Say what you will about eating disorders: it’s genetic, it’s environmental, it’s a disease. It still doesn’t change the fact that these distorted images and messages do nothing to help one’s health. Triggering thinspo images and advice can even lead to actual death.

Thinspo is dangerous, enslaving idolatry.

“Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after another god...”

Psalms16:4

And no effective power can come from it…

“What profiteth the graven image that the maker thereof hath graven it…a teacher of lies, that the maker of his work trusteth therein, to make dumb idols…there is no breath at all in the midst of it.”

Habakkuk 2:18-19

 Thinspo gives the illusion of strength, power and unattainable perfection. And, in its pursuit, the results are often filled with despair.

Think differently about it? Think “thinspo” is working for you?

How happy versus miserable are you right now as you place your own life and body on its slave market?

And spiritually, how at peace are you?

God never called us to live like this. He called us to love and to be in close relationship with Him. And He has a better way in which we are to view ourselves…

“O my dove…your form is lovely.”

Song of Solomon 2:14

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

Psalm 139:14

He has created and called each one of us in His Image, declaring us “good” (Genesis 1:26-27).

Therefore, let’s choose to no longer be enslaved by a lying, harmful image. Let’s believe in who we truly are.

 “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Romans 12:2

Let’s end the slave market.

“So you are no longer a slave, but God's child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.”

Galatians 4:7

Copyright © 2016 by Sheryle Cruse

 

 

 

 

Helpful Phrases For Saying No...


Saturday, July 2, 2016

An Independence Issue


 

Summer represents freedom, doesn’t it? And, smack dab in the middle of the season, we celebrate our Independence Day.

Independence: it’s an interesting word.  The definition of it reads as follows: “freedom from control: freedom from dependence on or control by another person, organization, or state; self-sufficiency, self-reliance, self-determination, freedom, autonomy, individualism.”

True. Yeah, that covers it. And it got me to thinking. Independence is also a factor in addiction- and not necessarily a healthy factor, either.

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice: but what I hate, that I do.”

The Apostle Paul in Romans 7:15

After all, in the 12 Step Program, what’s the first key step?

“We admitted we were powerless over a substance - that our lives had become unmanageable.”

And what’s included in the next steps?

“We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

“We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.”

“We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”

“We’re entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.”

“We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.”

There’s a theme here: God.

And likewise, there seems to be a theme about what got us into trouble in the first place: often, it’s our independent streak.

And that streak manifests in some powerful ways…

Independence: the need to eliminate pain:

We want to live a life independent of pain and trauma. So, we determine a substance or method to be our solution to that pain, handling it ourselves, independent of God.

And, thankfully, often, in spite of us, God still has His response to us…

“‘For I will restore health unto thee, and I will heal thee of thy wounds…”

Jeremiah 30:17

Independence: the need to gain and maintain control:

We want to live a life in which we feel we’re calling the shots. So, we determine a substance or method to be our solution to that painful, out of control feeling, handling it ourselves, independent of God.

And then there’s God’s take on things…

“I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps.”

Jeremiah 10:23

We just don’t want to face the reality that we don’t have control of everything.

Independence: the need to escape:

We want to live a life independent of responsibility, pressure and obligation. So, we determine a substance or method to be our release valve, convincing ourselves our problems have gone away. Of course they haven’t. We’ve just coated them with some form of denial and altered state, telling us we’re free and clear, independent from them. And again, we choose to handle it ourselves, independent of God.

What’s God’s response to that attitude?

“…‘This is the resting place, let the weary rest’; and, ‘This is the place of repose--but they would not listen.’”

Isaiah 28:12

Listen? Why should we? We’re too independent for that, right?

Independence: the need to find answers:

We want life to make sense, to explain why things happened to us. So, we turn outward, seeking behaviors and substances which appear to give us meaning and even identity. They never do, however. They seem to have just the opposite effect, as they keep us from dealing with the real issues in our lives. The longer we avoid them, the less and less we seem to know our true selves. And again, we don’t go to God asking for His help and guidance, even though He is constantly offering it…

“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, This is the way, walk in it, whenever you turn to the right hand, and whenever turn to the left.’”

Isaiah 30:21

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will guide you with My eye.”

Psalm 32:8

Instead, we only feel we’re left to fend for ourselves.

Independence: the need to live our lives as we desire:

We want to live the life of our dreams. So, we determine a substance or method to be our answer to that wish fulfillment of a “perfect” life, handling it ourselves, independent of God.

 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

But, what is God’s plan? Are we really that thoroughly convinced our plans are better? Nothing like delusion!

Independence: we desire to be loved and special:

The big point to it all: to be loved.

Perhaps, we’ve experienced abuse, neglect and trauma in our lives, convincing us of the lie we are unloved, unlovable and certainly not special. This unmet need, therefore, can often drive us to pursue such harmful outlets as addictions to not only drugs, alcohol and food, but also to such things as toxic relationships, sexual addictions and a myriad of self-destructive behaviors as well. We want that validation, anything that may remotely mimic what love and being valued feels like. We chose to seek out harmful substitutes instead of going to God, directly, Who loves and values us unconditionally.

Again, check out His response- to each of us…

“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, ‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.’ ”

Jeremiah 31:3

“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”

Isaiah 41:9

However, what happens when all this searching takes place, in the name of independence, without God? Pain, further complication and disappointments are just a few results which show us exactly what our independent streak, manifested through addictions and compulsions, actually brings us.

 Indeed, that independent streak was there from the start. Go back to the Garden of Eden.

“And the LORD God commanded the man, saying,’ Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: But of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.’”

Genesis 2:16-17

In that paradise kind of setting, Adam and Eve were given guidance about how to live abundantly. Everything connected with God’s okay was fine and dandy. No problem with that, right?

But there was a problem; they (and we, let’s be real) still seem to fixate, wanting what we want- or what we think we want. Again, we see it acted out through Adam and Eve.

“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.”

Genesis 3:1-6

And, perhaps, isn’t that what temptation is all about? Just like the Garden of Eden, we think the object of our addictions and compulsions will be our answer. We want to believe the lie.

“Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, ‘Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?’ And the woman said unto the serpent, ‘We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden: But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.’ And the serpent said unto the woman, ‘Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.’”

Genesis 3:1-5

Through that particular lie, we’ll be wise, perfect, problem free, loved, in control and acceptable. So we try it- or go back to it. But it overpromised and under- delivered. And why? Because it was not of God; it was independent of God.

This Independence Day, let’s all do some soul searching about what we are doing- is it dependent upon something specific, independent of God?

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

God can be trusted. Do we trust Him? He is not against our freedom; He is against us getting hurt. And, without God as our central guiding force in both our lives and our recovery processes, we are setting ourselves up to get hurt. And it need not be that way. Again…

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

Let’s celebrate this Independence Day, fully assured that our dependence upon God is, indeed, carving out an incredible and healthy life!

Copyright © 2016 by Sheryle Cruse