Monday, August 29, 2016
Remembering a princess who battled with her own less-than-fairytale struggles...
Speech
given by Diana, Princess of Wales on "Eating Disorders"
27th
April 1993
“Ladies
and Gentlemen:
I have
it, on very good authority, that the quest for perfection our society demands
can leave the individual gasping for breath at every turn.
This
pressure inevitably extends into the way we look. And of course, many would
like to believe that Eating Disorders are merely an expression of female vanity
- not being able to get into a size ten dress and the consequent frustrations!
From the
beginning of time the human race has had a deep and powerful relationship with
food - if you eat you live, if you don't you die. Eating food has always been
about survival, but also about caring for and nurturing the ones we love.
However, with the added stresses of modern life, it has now become an
expression of how we feel about ourselves and how we want others to feel about
us.
Eating
Disorders, whether it be Anorexia or Bulimia, show how an individual can turn
the nourishment of the body into a painful attack on themselves and they have
at their core a far deeper problem than mere vanity. And sadly, Eating
Disorders are on the increase at a disturbing rate, affecting a growing number of
men and women and a growing number of children…
…Yet all
of us can help prevent the seeds of this disease developing. As parents,
teachers, family and friends, we have an obligation to care for our children.
To encourage and guide, to nourish and nurture and to listen with love to their
needs, in ways which clearly show our children that we value them. They in
their turn will then learn how to value themselves…"
Little Diana
As the
anniversary of Princess Diana’s tragic passing approaches, I’m struck by not
just her beauty or her relatable struggle with eating disorders, but also of one
poignant reality: she was once a little girl.
For as much
attention as there has been on her princess status, her fairytale bride image
and that of her complicated, turbulent life, she, like all of us, once started
as a child.
And, being
the enormous fan that I am, I have come across many of these childhood photos
of her.
We can search
the internet and find Diana as a toddler, a little girl holding a hamster and a
big sister to her brother. Like so many
of us, she went through the phases and milestones which mark who we become.
And it’s
important to remember those truths as we reflect on her life and sudden death.
This “people’s Princess” was a vulnerable human being, coping with her own
inner child- and everything representative of that. Just like each one of us.
So, as we go
about our own lives, let’s stop and pause to examine ourselves, along with those
childlike things which have meaning, pain and joy to us.
For all of
the mention of the adult woman, Princess Diana, let’s never forget the very
real little girl. As we ponder her, may we honor and acknowledge the challenge
of our own child selves.
Each one of
us didn’t just arrive at where we are. There is a child behind us all.
Copyright © 2016 by Sheryle Cruse
Sunday, August 28, 2016
Not All Surprises Are Bad
In recovery
from my disordered eating and image issues over the years, one thing I had to
face was the complicated, unresolved father/daughter factor in my life. No, I
did not get the loving father/daughter relationship I so craved.
It’s taken
me years to connect the dots concerning my disordered mindset. Unfortunately,
yes, the family environment I experienced played a role.
Families of people with Anorexia Nervosa:
•• Enmeshed, overprotective,
conflict-avoiding
•• Unresponsive to patient’s
self-expressions
Families of People with Bulimia
Nervosa:
•• Parents are critical and detached
•• Characterized by hostile enmeshment
•• Non-nurturing
•• Emotionally unresponsive
Ohio State
University FactSheet. Used with permission
Still,
within that reality, I’ve had to look at a much bigger factor: the spiritual
one. And a large part of my healing has come from seeing how God, as Father, intentionally chose, wanted, desired and
loved me, regardless of what my human
father did or did not do.
“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”
Isaiah 43:4
“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”
Isaiah 41:9
“The LORD hath appeared of old unto
me, saying, ‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with
lovingkindness have I drawn thee.’”
Jeremiah 31:3
“The Lord your God in your midst, the Mighty
One will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you with
His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.”
Zephaniah 3:17
And,
although I cannot change what was concerning my imperfect reality with my dad,
I can choose to embrace the real and eternal truth of my father/daughter
relationship with God, the ultimate
Father.
In the popular
television series, “Mad Men,” an episode entitled, “The Fog,” captured a
beautiful exchange between the protagonist Don Draper and his daughter, Sally.
In the
scene, father and daughter discuss the birth of the family’s second son.
Everyone thought it would be a girl, to which Draper responds…
“I thought you were
going to be a boy. Not all surprises are bad.”
This heartwarming
bit of dialogue again reminds me of how God views each of us through His
Fatherly, loving lens. We are specifically loved and chosen.
“All things were made by
him; and without him was not anything made that was made.”
John 1:3
There was no
regret or second thought about us, about who He created us to be.
Perhaps,
you’ve not had the unconditional love experience with your parents. Maybe
disorder and addiction have left their marks, fracturing family relationships
and healthy self-perceptions. Don’t believe the lie you were a mistake, an
accident, unplanned. Nothing could be
further from the truth as far as God is concerned! You may have been a
“surprise” to someone, but you have been intentionally, spiritually created,
with purpose, by God, from the start.
Again…
“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”
Isaiah 43:4
“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”
Isaiah 41:9
It’s not too
late. Right now, God loves each of us, is thinking about us and desires a
wonderful future, filled with restorative love, healing and blessings. Right
now.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the
Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11
Therefore,
choose to embrace a loving Father Who knew exactly
what He was doing when He created you.
“...I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”
Psalm 139:14
And yes, you
will be surprised at just how much, how completely and how uniquely, He will
love and connect with you!
Indeed, not
all surprises are bad!
Copyright © 2016 by
Sheryle Cruse
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