Because it's this time of year again...

Back to School (An Eating Disorder Awareness Education)

This back to school season always strikes me with concern. Eating disorders are often triggered by the college experience. Statistics show some startling realities:

“As many as 10% of college women suffer from a clinical or nearly clinical eating disorder, including 5.1% who suffer from bulimia nervosa

Studies indicate that by their first year of college, 4.5 to 18% of women and 0.4% of men have a history of bulimia…”

(The National Institute of Mental Health, National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders)

 Indeed, it was my reality. As a child and a teenager who always struggled with her weight, I determined college to be my “reinvention.” If I could just be thin, I could be a new, better person. And so, oh, so slowly, I descended into eating disorders. I discuss it in my book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder.”

It started as a diet. However, it didn’t stop there. Eventually I was engulfed in anorexia, culminating in an unhealthy low weight of eighty pounds, not to mention, weakness and dizziness just to name a couple of health issues I encountered. Furthermore, that anorexic condition eventually morphed into another dangerous disorder, bulimia; I gained one hundred plus pounds within a number of months. And, with that rapid weight gain, I experienced heart fluttering, shortness of breath and suicidal thoughts. Simply stated-I was miserable, unhealthy and out of control.

Eating disorders don’t happen overnight. Often, these behaviors have been developing for many young people for years prior. However, college, with the major lifestyle changes, stressors and pressuring expectations of young adulthood can lay the groundwork for disordered eating to thrive. Whether it’s the need to be perfect, compete in athletics, measure up to parental or peers’ expectations or cope with anxiety and major changes, many young men and women wrongly believe their chosen eating disorder is the desirable “answer” to their problems. And so, they learn the techniques, sometimes even teaching them to fellow roommates, practice the behavior and, before long, they have gone further in chaotic choices than they ever dreamed. Personal health, goals and life plans are all threatened, seemingly, “out of the blue.”

And, most damaging of all is the spiritual impact. The eating disorders’ lies often do an insidious and thorough job of convincing the young person of the ultimate lie: God hates you and will not/cannot save you; therefore, it’s hopeless. That’s where I found myself.

And, it’s taken me years to spiritually relearn God’s Truth.

“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:38-39

“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”

Isaiah 41:9

“Behold, I am the Lord, the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?”

Jeremiah 32:27

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will guide you with My eye.”

Psalm 32:8

“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, ‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.’”

                                                             Jeremiah 31:3             

But how much pain could have been avoided if I had been aware of that reassuring powerful Truth when I was in college? How much pain could I have avoided if I went in to college, fully knowing the dangers of the eating disorder path?

“My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge…”

Hosea 4:6

Knowledge.

This time of year, back to school emphasizes knowledge and learning. And, it’s at this time of year I encounter many frantic young people, with all manner of food, weight, body image and self-esteem issues, going off to college, fearful of what they’re facing.

 So, along with God’s Word, which never comes back without its intended purpose accomplished (Isaiah 55:11), I’ve provided some questions and things to look out for if you believe someone is struggling, or if you, yourself are suffering from eating disorder tendencies.

Eating Disorder Signs To Look Out For:

Perfectionistic about appearance and achievement

Obsessed with food, dieting, counting calories, etc.

Excessive exercising (hours at a time)

Isolation from family and friends and secretive behavior (in example: exercising in the middle of the night, binge and purge sessions when alone, constant weighing of oneself)

Drastic weight loss, weight gain, fluctuations, (may also have a puffy face, scraped knuckles and hair loss)

Possession of laxatives, diet pills, diuretics and “thinspo” material

Stealing roommates’ food and money

Self-critical, depressed and/or displaying erratic mood swings

Displaying cross addictive behavior: in example, alcohol/drug consumption, shopping, sexual activity, self-injury (like cutting oneself)

Wearing excessively baggy clothes

Frequent trips to the bathroom, especially after eating

Frequent absences from classes, work or other activities

Questions To Ask… Do I having an eating disorder?

Do I expect to be perfect?

God’s answer to that question…

“The Lord will perfect that which concerns me…”

Psalm 138:8

What’s my definition of beauty/performance?

God’s answer to that question…

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

Psalm 139:14

How do I view food?

God’s answer to that question…

“Is not life more than food?”

Jesus, in Matthew 6:25

How do I view exercise?

God’s answer to that question…

“For bodily exercise profiteth little: but godliness is profitable unto all things, having promise of the life that now is, and of that which is to come.”

1 Timothy 4:8

How do I see myself right now?

God’s answer to that question…

“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”

Isaiah 43:4

If your answer to the eating disorder question is “yes,” it’s not hopeless. But it does require action, professional help and support from others.

If You Have Anorexia Nervosa…

Don’t diet. Never ever. Instead design a meal plan that gives your body all the nutrition it needs for health and growth. Also get 30 to 60 minutes of exercise or physical activity three to five days a week. More than that is too much.

Ask someone you trust for an honest, objective opinion of your weight. If they say you are normal weight or thin, believe them.

If You Have Bulimia Nervosa or Binge Eating Disorder…

Don’t let yourself get too hungry, too angry, too lonely, too tired, or too bored. All these states are powerful binge triggers. Watch for them, and when they first appear, deal with them in a healthy manner instead of letting the tension build until bingeing and purging become the release of choice.

Make sure that every day you touch base with friends and loved ones. Enjoy being with them. It sounds corny, but hugs really are healing.

Keep tabs on your feelings. Several times a day ask yourself how you feel. If you get off track, do whatever the situation requires to get back to your comfort zone.

ANRED: Self Help Tips.

And it requires looking at the real truth of the situation. After all, scripture tells us…

“The truth shall set you free.”

John 8:32

So, as the seasons and transitions change, learn the freedom God wants you to experience. It’s yours to claim! Educate yourself with true freedom, health, life and relationship with the True God behind it all! He’s waiting for you!

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”

3 John 1:2

“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, ‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.’”

Jeremiah 31:3

Copyright © 2016 by Sheryle Cruse

 

 

 

 

I think I'm gonna walk around like this for a bit today...

Just Be Weird

Marilyn Again (A Reminder Reality Check)

The sex symbol, pop culture icon and beauty standard, Marilyn Monroe: what do we truly think of her, circa now?

Do we think she’s beautiful?

Sexy?

 Glamorous?

Or, do we think she’s fat?

Our first thought, indeed, tells on us; they reveal the truth of our souls and value systems.

When I was preparing a presentation on popular culture’s ever changing beauty standards, I discovered that the legendary Marilyn Monroe, back in the 1950’s, was a size 12 or 14. Some even speculate she was a size 16!

Again, when we hear those numbers, what’s our first reaction?

She’s beautiful?

She’s sexy?

 She’s glamorous?

Or, do we think she’s fat?

And then, when we turn the mirrors on ourselves, what do we say about ourselves, to ourselves?

I’m beautiful?

I’m sexy?

I’m glamorous?

Or, do we think “I’m fat?”

The word “fat” isn’t an innocent, neutral word though, is it? It carries with it extreme judgment, harsh and harmful judgment. There’s no life, positive outlook or beauty to it, is there?

But that’s a wrong judgment to possess. After all, God clearly states…

“All things were made by him; and without him was not anything made that was made.”

John 1:3

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

Psalm 139:14

That judgment includes the woman you believe is “too this” or “too that,” whatever those judgments are. And it applies to you as well.

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he...”

Proverbs 23:7

So, what are you thinking, believing, receiving and applying in your own life? Is it positive, life affirming and helpful or is it negative, destructive and harmful? You decide; I decide.

Each one of us needs to be mindful of the thoughts and the judgments we entertain.

It’s not about looking at this photo of Marilyn and thinking she’s fat. It speaks to what we believe, value, reject and hate.

Let’s think on God’s things!

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Philippians 4:8

That’s the challenge; that’s the choice. And it IS achievable! Achieve it today!

Copyright © 2016 by Sheryle Cruse

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone Starts Somewhere

 

 

Featured in the September 2016 issue of Serene Scene Magazine, Cruse discusses the potential disorder which can arise from exercise goals/practices when pursuing a fitness plan.

http://serenescenemagazine.com/serene%20scene/Serene%20Scene%20September%202016/FLASH/index.html?page=34

 

Princess Diana Remembrance (Beauty For Ashes)

 

I remember where I was when Princess Diana’s death was announced. My husband and I were up late watching movies. When we finished, we turned CNN on, to discover “breaking news” of her death. I suppose you could call it my “JFK” moment.

Princess Diana has always meant so much to me. As a little girl, her engagement and royal wedding to Prince Charles captured my fairytale dreams. Her beauty, style and glamour was the stuff of aspirations.

And then, when the media revealed a troubled marriage and her struggles with eating disorders, I gained a different view and respect for her; she was human, even while being a princess. She was fragile and imperfect.

Struggling with eating disorders myself, I watched how she dealt with the international disclosure of such personal matters. Secrecy and shame were such huge hindrances to my recovery; I only saw the ugly stigma of the realities I was living. But Princess Diana, by example, illuminated another possibility through her choices: empowering hope.

It’s been years since her tragic passing, yet Princess Diana has left a substantial imprint. Her legacy is in her sons, Prince William and Prince Harry. She’s also known for her charity, for her intuitive response to people and for her transcendence of seemingly hopeless and painful circumstances.

I reflected on my life as I viewed hers. I see how God can take anyone and anything, creating hope and redemption from the blackest of situations. He still is in the business of beauty for ashes…

“The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
    because the Lord has anointed me
    to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
    to proclaim freedom for the captives
    and release from darkness for the prisoners…
to comfort all who mourn,
and…bestow on them a crown of beauty
    instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
    instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
    instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness,
    a planting of the Lord
    for the display of his splendor.”

Isaiah 61:1-3

He’s still in the business of restoration…

 “And I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm, my great army which I sent among you. "You will…praise the name of the LORD your God, Who has dealt wondrously with you; Then My people will never be put to shame.…”

Joel 2:25-26

And, of course, He still heals, not just bodies, but lives, reputations and legacies…

 “…I am the LORD that healeth thee.”

Exodus 15:26

As we mark another anniversary of Princess Diana’s passing, let’s allow her legacy to remind us of God’s power, love and hope for each of us. Addictions, disorders, traumas, loss, death and failure may touch our lives, but they never determine our incredible value and hopeful possibility for prosperity, love, joy and restoration. God does that. And His determination always is as follows:

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

Copyright © 2016 by Sheryle Cruse

 

Princess

When I was a little girl, I watched the royal wedding of Prince Charles and the late Princess Diana. I bought into the excitement and the promise of the fairytale. And yes, I wanted to be a princess. So, I woke up at four in the morning to catch the internationally televised coverage of the epic event and live vicariously through it. There I was, with a bowl of cereal in hand, watching that gilded carriage pull up, carrying the young Lady Diana Spencer and her father. And when she stepped out of that carriage? That incredible extravaganza of a wedding dress! Over the years, I heard people discussing that moment, likening it to an exquisite creature emerging from a large chrysalis. Yep, that’s about right.

 

As I watched the 1981 wedding and years later, the 2011 royal wedding between Prince William and Princess Katherine, I noted how the power of the fairytale continues to hit us hard. We still want to buy into the belief that if something appears beautiful, it’s perfect, pain free and “happily ever after.”

 

 

I know I certainly bought that concept.

 It spilled over into my food, weight and body image issues until, years later, I found myself in the grips of disordered eating. I believed, wrongly so, beauty, a/k/a being thin, would make my life perfect and fairytale “happily ever after.” Unfortunately, I discovered that wasn’t the case. In that promise’s place, instead, were harmful, miserable compulsions, thoughts, self-hated and spiritual disconnection with God. Certainly, there was no reassuring feeling I was a beautiful, valuable princess.

And it’s not entirely lost on me the profound nature of the word “princess” in the “thinspo” movement. This destructive force has taken off now, largely due to the internet. With a proliferation of websites, blogs and social network sites, devoted to the encouragement and instruction of developing and maintaining eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia, “thinspo “ has seeped into our consciousness. And, of course, it targets young girls and women, promising them a perfect, controlled, beautiful life, if only they could be as thin as possible. Therefore, disturbingly, often the term “princess” is used to describe those females who victoriously keep their eating disorders going and their weight numbers down.

Since writing the book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder,” I encounter many young girls and women, at various stages in their disorders and recovery. And yes, some of them claim to be “princesses.” I often get asked if I am one as well. I tell them I’m pro-recovery, not pro-eating disorders, but I don’t know how much of that registers. They still seem to have “princess”- a thin princess, anyway- on the brain. Some things don’t change, do they? Fixating on that perfect princess, in one form or another, can follow us in life.

Princess. Yes, most little girls want to be princesses. Think about it: fairytales, dress up, costumes, wedding days. All princess stuff. We’re groomed to desire the pink girly dreams, seemingly, right from the start.

What is a princess then? Is she beautiful? Sweet? Lovable? Let’s be honest, do you and I feel like those traits every single day? Didn’t think so. And is this princess the reflection staring back at us? Most of us would probably answer “no.” Whether it’s seeking that ideal through beauty and size, even to the extremes of eating disorders or looking at a tangible female role model to embody that image, “princess” is never far from our thoughts. And still, we have difficulty accepting our inherent value in God’s eyes.

So, let’s look at the late Princess Diana. She was, after all, more than that breathtaking bride in the fairytale wedding. Years after her death, we continue to see her impact. In the 1980’s, she educated the world by touching and hugging people with HIV, something unheard of from a royal family member at the time. She sent the message that loving human touch is safe and vital to anyone who is suffering. And that included the mystifying disease of AIDS. Sounds like a princess to me.

And just before her death, she also brought attention the anti-landmine cause worldwide by walking through Angola, dressed in protective gear. Is that act becoming of a princess?

And, of course she raised two young Princes, William and Harry, both who continue her legacy of charity and service. Attributes of a princess?

Look at her life; look at who she was, apart from her title. Yes, she was beautiful, glamorous and, by royal title, indeed, a princess. But she was also a daughter, a friend, a girl, a woman, a wife, a mother.

And she was imperfect also. That imperfection surfaced as she dealt with her own eating disorder of bulimia. Yes, a princess had an eating disorder. That wasn’t in the perfect fairytale, was it? Did that reality turn us against her, make her any less appealing? No. In fact, we connected with her vulnerability and her humanity. Those of us dealing with eating disorders and recovery also empathized with her struggles. Being a princess didn’t prevent her from experiencing those painful challenges.

When she passed away in 1997, she was named “the people’s princess.” But that title had more to do with her compassion and her kindness expressed to others. It didn’t hinge on physical appearance or weight. It was about her heart.

So, are we, like her, princesses in our worlds? What does that mean to us? Is there the association of “thinspo” attached to it? Is there unrealistic beauty pressures attached to the definition? Are we only princesses, only valuable if we reach and maintain a certain criteria? What about our hearts? Where does that factor into the princess designation? Look around at your loved ones, your family and your friends. We just don’t get how much we’re loved and valued by others, do we? We just don’t get how much we’re loved and valued by God!

“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”

Isaiah 43:4

“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.”

                                                             Jeremiah 31:3             

No matter who you are, what you’ve been or done in your life, God has a soft spot for you, in which He sees you as His Princess. He sees ALL of you, every facet; you are this wonderful jewel!

So, the challenge, I suppose, is for each of us to view ourselves as a “princess,” recognizing that the word speaks to our uniqueness, not a crown on our heads, not ever changing beauty trends, not “thinspo” pro-eating disorder mindsets.

I have a different definition of the word. Yes, then. I’m a Princess. You are too! Walk with your head held high; you are a child, a princess, of the Most High God!

Copyright © 2016 by Sheryle Cruse