Jairus’ Daughter Excerpt

I had to find this story of Jairus’ daughter, but more than that, I had to find God Himself. The guilt and shame over my past took a backseat to my new urgency in finding God. Some days, I felt like I was saved and on my way to a wonderful life with God. Other days, I left the lights on and slept clutching my Bible for dear life, like a child clutches a teddy bear. I cried. I laughed. I shouted. I cowered. I whispered and whimpered. But through it all, I kept praying, “God, be real to me, be real.” And I kept reading the Bible. I finally found the story in Mark 5:21-24 and 35-43. It started out with desperate parents wanting their daughter healed. I could relate. My own family wanted me cured, fixed. In the Bible story, Jairus, a ruler of the synagogue, begged Jesus to come and heal his daughter, who was at the point of death. Jesus agrees to go with him. But before Jesus could get there, some people…told Jairus not to bring Jesus; there was no longer any point. “Your daughter is dead: Why trouble the Teacher any further?” —Mark 5:35 I could relate. There were so many people who had given up on me. I heard their voices and frustrated sighs, “It’s hopeless, she’ll never change.” But then, as I continued reading, it jumped out at me: “As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he said to the ruler of the synagogue, ‘Do not be afraid; only believe.’” —Mark 5:36 He ignored their comments? He didn’t listen to them? Hope started in me as I continued to read. He wouldn’t let anyone else come along with Him, to argue with him. I looked at my life. For so long, my life was about seeking a substitute for God, instead of seeking God Himself. I’d turned to food, accomplishment, image, people, and things. But it was Jesus this whole time. Jesus was my answer, my answer to pain, to fear, to Father. “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father, except through me.” —Jesus speaking in John 14:6 Jesus entered the house where people were weeping and wailing. He said to them, “the child is not dead, but sleeping,” (Mark 5:39) I thought about how death had become my life. I’d focused on death as the beauty, the answer. Stuffing and starving myself was death. Bingeing, purging, punishing, all were death. But what if these words could apply to me and the death I was going through? What if anorexia, bulimia, compulsive eating—what if none of them were the final word? What if Jesus was? What if the Bible really was true? I read on through Mark 5:41: “Then he took the child by the hand, and said to her, “Talitha, cumi,” which is translated, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” And she did! What if I could arise from all of this too? What if I could wake up and live beyond anorexia, bulimia, overeating, food, weight? And then, to top it all off, I read at the end of the story in Mark 5:43, Jesus “said that something should be given her to eat.” I felt that I was that little girl. You mean Jesus wants me to eat? Not starve, not stuff myself either, but eat something? I didn’t have to starve or binge? “Something”—everything in moderation? You mean Jesus said it first? That’s how two new journeys began for me: adapting my approach to eating and adapting my approach to life and truth. Neither was a neat little process of starting and finishing step one, step two, etc. I discovered just how patient, gradual, and merciful God can be.