Friday, October 31, 2014
Beyond the Mask
As a child, I dressed up as Tinker Bell and Cinderella for
Halloween. Back then, there was less emphasis on realistic depictions of
fictional characters. There was the plastic-y kind of “costume,” resembling
more of a picnic tablecloth than fairy or princess attire.
And then, of course, there was the cheap plastic mask, with
a painful elastic band keeping it in place. But somehow, it seemed to hang
uncomfortably around the ear area and snapped with slingshot ferocity each time
one tried to adjust the mask. I have many memories of my mask’s eye holes askew
as I tried not to bump into the other kids and the neighbors’ front doors.
There were mixed results.
If any of you have had similar childhood Halloween
memories, you know that those cheap plastic masks were not fooling anyone. No
kid ever looked like Tinker Bell, Cinderella, Batman or the Incredible Hulk; no
one was fooled into believing the child was a particular character. It was
obvious. It was a mask.
Years later, dealing with my personal recovery from eating
disorders, the mask issue takes on greater significance. We’ve heard about
masks; we wear different ones to function in society and our individual life
roles. In fact, for a lot of us dealing with addiction and recovery, the masks
contributed to our choices and our problems. And, as is the case so often with
addiction, we, the mask wearers, were often the last to know and see it. As we
struggle to navigate our lives, trying not to bump into calamities of our own
making, others look at us, unconvinced of the image we try to project. We may
believe we’re presenting a together person, but other people only see our confused
eyes poking through askew eye holes.
Like John Lennon once sang, “one thing you can’t hide is
when you’re crippled inside.”
The dictionary definition of mask is as follows:
“face
covering to hide identity: a
covering for the face, worn by somebody to conceal his or her identity.”
But
how many of us get that confused with our real selves? And, in doing exactly
that, how many of us encounter relapses in our recoveries, that is, if we even
start one in the first place?
This
time of year is a reminder of masks; Halloween is all about pretending to be
someone or something else. But there’s a difference between pretending and
lying. When it comes to our recovery from addictions, pretending, to the point
of lying, never promotes health and healing. We may see or believe the image,
the lie or the relapse appears in a certain light, even a flattering light. We
look out of askew eyeholes, never quite seeing things accurately. However, sooner
or later, the entire story surfaces. Scripture states…
“For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to
face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known...”
1 Corinthians 13:12-13
Truth pops up. So,
then, what would ever make us think we could see the entire, accurate situation
concerning our addiction and recovery?
Answer? Pride. Ah,
yes, one of the subtlest threats to any recovery- our own pride. Pride
convinces us we don’t need to stay on our programs, connect with our sponsors,
attend meetings or be honest. No. Pride reassures us we’re in great shape,
we’re doing okay on our own. Pride tells us to be lone rangers; pride shames us
by condemning the need to get and maintain help in our lives. Pride keeps
telling us, “You have it under control. Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
But pride always
overpromises and under-delivers. The famous scripture about pride itself warns
us…
“Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a
fall.”
Proverbs 16:18
Back when I was in
a manic bulimic phase of my eating disorder behavior during college, I believed
no one else could see what was going on with me. My increasingly puffy face and
my one hundred pound weight gain were, certainly not obvious. Oh, no. Pride
kept telling me I was doing okay. After all, I was still regularly keeping up
with my classes and making the dean’s list. So, no problem, right? Meanwhile,
my desperate behaviors caused me to not only binge and purge, but also steal my
roommates’ food and dumpster dive for garbage when my compulsion for food ran
rampant. How do you convince others you really have it so together when you’re
caught scrounging the garbage for food? It’s not such a believable mask then,
is it?
But all is not
totally hopeless. For as much as we may have wrongly relied on our addictions,
disorders and deluded, masked states of pride, we can also make another choice.
The Book of Proverbs is often regarded as a book of wisdom in the Bible. And,
one of the things I love about it is that it isn’t just a list of “don’t do
this” instructions, it also contains a healthy, positive “do” option.
“When pride comes, then comes
disgrace, but with humility comes
wisdom.”
Proverbs 11:2
“Before his downfall a man's
heart is proud, but humility comes
before honor.”
Proverbs 18:12
Humility is
mentioned more than once. Hmmm. There seems to be a theme here.
So, where are we
with that reality? Again, the
Halloween holiday focuses on masks, and pretending to be someone or something
we are not. But how do we live that concept, beyond Halloween? Are we wearing the mask or is it wearing us?
Replace the mask
with the truth.
“…the truth will set you
free."
John 8:32
Copyright © 2014 by
Sheryle Cruse
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Scary Candy?
It’s that time of year again-the
official start of the “candy holidays,” kicked off by Halloween. It can be
sheer torture, facing the overwhelming displays of treats now. There seems to
be candy everywhere! And, for a lot of us out there, it can trigger disordered
eating patterns.
So, what do we do? We can’t stop
Halloween- and all “candy holidays” from coming. No, it’s not an easy
situation. But, we can look for God’s perspective and help, even considering
the temptations and issues we face, dealing with candy and “trigger”
situations.
“All
things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are
lawful for me, but all things edify not.”
1 Corinthians 10:23
“All
things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are
lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”
Candy, by itself, is neither evil, nor
good. It’s inanimate. It has no nutritional value; and yes, it’s loaded with
sugar, other preservatives and colors. The “moderation” issue, therefore, comes
into play. You and I will not die or have the worst case scenario, (whatever we
define that to be for our lives, such as the notoriously dreaded “getting fat”
fear) if we eat some candy, from time to time, in our lives.
However, we need to look at eating
candy as a choice; it has no nutritional value.
So, according to 1 Corinthians, it’s “lawful,” but does it “edify?”
Candy will not harm us, if, the constant
staples in our lives are healthy choices: healthy food, balanced exercise,
sleep, relationships, support and numerous daily spiritual, emotional and
physiological choices. It’s about an overall healthy lifestyle, not whether or not
we ate some candy corn today.
And let’s not forget, each of us has
help for our individual, unique lives.
“God is our refuge and strength, a very
present help in trouble.”
Psalms
46:1
Yes, it’s challenging, facing the
overwhelming flavors, colors, choices- and emotional ties that Halloween candy
can represent to us. But remember, God has called us to a life that includes
enjoyment.
“…I am come that they might have life,
and that they might have it more abundantly.”’
John 10:10
Are you and I taking time to enjoy our
lives? For some of us out there, that may mean having some candy today; for others, it may mean
choosing another option.
Regardless of what you choose today,
“to candy or not to candy” (forgive me, Shakespeare), God is in control and loves
each of us unconditionally. He’s there, helping us, wanting us to succeed and
to experience His love and blessings.
So, look at candy with some newer eyes
today. It’s not your best friend or your worst enemy. It’s candy; that’s all.
And God is more powerful than it- and every trigger/disorder/issue surrounding
it.
Go to God, then, no matter what you
face concerning your struggles/disorders/issues with candy- or any other food,
for that matter. He IS there, now, for you! He will be, long after the candy-
and the candy holidays- are gone!
“…I
am with you always, [even] unto the end of the world. Amen.”
Matthew
28:20
Copyright © 2014 by Sheryle Cruse
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
Horror Story (Serene Scene Magazine)
Feature in October’s Serene Scene Magazine, Cruse discusses
the power our individual, fear-driven anxieties play in our addiction issues.
Monday, October 27, 2014
Faith In the Blinds
Our cat, Glory has developed a new habit in
our home. She spends an inordinate amount of time on our bed, looking out our
window, getting her head stuck in the blinds. But she seems to enjoy it. Her
two little paws grip the window sill as she shifts back and forth, convinced
she’s talking to or stalking something outside. We look out the window with her
from time to time, just to see what the fuss is all about.
But nothing. No birds or squirrels. Is there
some invisible critter taunting her predator instinct (she does that cute “cat
chatter” thing)?
Is there something interesting going on
outside? We don’t see it; just a boring street and sidewalk.
But there appears to be something.
Something…something…
And it got me to thinking. Should you and I
get that excited about what God is doing in our lives? I don’t know about you,
but, most of the time, I’m not exactly jumping up and down with enthusiasm
concerning things I cannot see. But should
I be?
God tells us to expect wonderful things.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the
Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11
He wants us to get excited about our lives
lived for Him.
“But
as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into
the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”
Sounds convincing, right? But how many of us are truly excited, getting
our faith enthusiasm stuck in our spiritual blinds? Not too many of us, huh?
Let’s face it: life can get tedious. So
enthusiasm can get trampled upon. But it still doesn’t change the reality of
what God is doing in our lives.
So, indeed, it would serve us well to look
out our own window from time to time and dream. Remember dreaming? I don’t
think we do that enough today. God is encouraging us to use our imagination to
envision an incredible life for ourselves. Have you and I been doing that?
Let’s get our heads stuck the blinds. We may
not see the blessings just yet, but something wonderful is out there! God is up
to something!!!
Copyright © 2014 by Sheryle Cruse
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Saturday, October 25, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
Thursday, October 23, 2014
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Halloween Note
With the
Halloween spirit in the air, accompanied by a plethora of candy, one woman had
taken it upon herself to pass out these gem notes to the overweight children.
This woman
plans to give notes to children who appear "moderately obese" in
hopes that the message will shame their parents into rationing their supply of
Halloween candy.
And we’re off and running with disordered food, weight and
body image issues. Fantastic.
Seriously, children are already having a tough enough time
with these issues. Check out these stats on disordered eating:
· 10% report onset at 10 years or younger
· 33% report
onset between ages of 11-15
Is that the direction we want to go with our children, just
to keep them from being “fat?” After all, we never know what is triggering
someone. Scripture, again, gives a warning about having insensitivity toward
others who may be struggling with Achilles heels of any kind:
“But take heed lest by any means this
liberty of yours become a stumbling block to them that are weak.”
1 Corinthians 8:9
“Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another.
Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the
way of a brother or sister.”
Romans 14:13
And, by making candy forbidden, we subscribe undue added
power and temptation to it. When we’re deprived, what do we do? Obsess about
the forbidden deprivation object all the more.
God gives us a reality check about that:
“All
things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are
lawful for me, but all things edify not.”
1 Corinthians 10:23
“All
things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are
lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”
It’s tricky, at best, for most of. We already have a lot of
warped perceptions, as is.
And a Halloween “fat note” won’t be the quick and forever
“fix.”
It’s about eliminating the power/fear/guilt/shame of any
food. It’s about refusing to poke and point at a child’s body, demanding
perfection or a more “aesthetically pleasing” size or shape. It’s about letting
children be children and, if, indeed, there is a real health problem, getting
professional and loving support and treatment for that issue.
I don’t know what this woman’s heart motives truly are. I
just get extremely uneasy whenever we try, with our own ideas, to steer ANY
child in the diet direction. Without knowing it, we’re setting in motion,
perhaps, lifelong struggles for these very children.
And that never makes for a “happy Halloween.”
Copyright © 2014 by Sheryle Cruse
Wednesday, October 15, 2014
Grace and Glory: A Feline Education About God
In my years
as a Christian, I’ve hopefully learned some things about God. I’ve taken
classes; I’ve read the Bible. I’ve lived life.
But one
educational tool I did not count on
was feline. God will even use cats to teach us something about Who He is.
Years ago,
my husband and I adopted two kittens from a shelter. We scrolled through the
adoptee profiles and immediately, two litter mates’ photos caught my attention:
Grace and Glory.
They were
part of a “G” named batch of kittens. It’s difficult to say what reached me
first- their photos or their names. A lot of people who know me assume, because
of my faith, I purposely named them. Nope. They came that way.
“And he said, ‘I beseech thee, shew me thy
glory.’”
Exodus 33:18
Glory was a
calico, a beautifully glorious coat of white, black and rusty splotches. And
her photo caught a scared little face looking over her shoulder. Check it out;
who could deny that little sweetheart?
“And of his fullness have all we received, and grace for
grace.”
John 1:16
Gracie, described as a “diluted calico,” or a
“tortie,” was a lavender grey swirl of rosy highlights, freckles and, based
upon her profile picture, she appeared to have a cross, “fleur-de-lis” marking
along her forehead and the bridge of her nose.
This photo
right here. See?
So, we were
besotted. Long story short: we adopted them. Happily ever after, right?
Well…
Now, don’t
get me wrong. We don’t regret adding them to our family. But, in adopting them, we were not prepared
for the bumps (learning lessons) along the way. And, it’s been these learning
lessons that have given me some insight into God Himself.
First, as
shelter kittens, they were infested with fleas and incubators of ringworm. Fun.
So, that
meant medications, which cats, of course,
absolutely love receiving.
And that
medication process had us collide violently with their calico natures. We learned
about the feisty personalities of the calico species. We were completely ignorant
of this reality going in. But man,
did we ever get an education on the job!
Growling,
charging and hissing protests were par for the course as we had to administer
their meds at least four times a day four two months. Wonderful. My husband,
Russell often wrangled Glory in a towel, just to keep her flailing and swiping
legs at bay. She still was furious, but it did help somewhat.
Gracie was
slightly easier. The tactic we employed the most with her was the element of
surprise, grabbing her and dosing her as quickly as possible. The thing about
her personality was that she, at least, was an easy purr. She purrs constantly,
a happy and friendly type.
And that’s what made her hisses and growls so
startling. She was quick to hiss or growl if irritated. And then she’d be back
to purring. She forgives instantly and goes along her way.
Strange little
critter.
And that
taught me about grace, the concept. It’s constant, even if/when things are less
than ideal. It just is; it is not affected by what is going on.
“And God is able to make all grace abound toward you; that
ye, always having all sufficiency in all things, may abound to every good work.”
2 Corinthians 9:8
“For by grace are ye
saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of
works, lest any man should boast.”
Ephesians 2:8-9
And yes,
Glory also educated me about God as well. It all starts with her amazing coat.
Yes, it’s glorious. But again, there’s something more to that glorious coat and
what it actually means.
“But as truly as I
live, all the earth shall be filled with the glory of the LORD.”
Numbers 14:21
Yes, on the
surface, she looks like a cute kitten with beautiful tri-color fur. But there’s
more to it than meets the eye.
Just like
God’s actual glory.
“And one cried unto
another, and said, ‘Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is
full of his glory.’”
Isaiah 6:3
It’s been a process of establishing and
reassuring trust with these two cats over the years.
“But we all, with
open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the
same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 3:18
“For our light
affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and
eternal weight of glory;”
2 Corinthians 4:17
Both love to
hammock on oversized shirts. Both have their favorite toys. And we’ve had some
wonderful bonding moments. Glory, especially, is a cuddly, loving lap cat.
That,
however, still does not change their feistiness. When they are irritated, they
let it be known. There’s no changing that. We have to accept those terms.
And I
believe, likewise, there are similar terms to God’s attributes of grace and
glory. We need to approach them for what they are, no what we may want them to be.
There may be
unpredictable moments in our lives, even with our pursuit of and relationship with
God. He’s gracious and glorious. He’s feisty and fierce.
And, with
these two felines, God reminds me on how they are very much His creation and a
reflection of Him:
“For by him were all things created, that are in heaven, and
that are in earth, visible and invisible, whether they be thrones, or dominions, or principalities, or powers: all
things were created by him, and for him.”
Colossians 1:16
And that’s an incredible fact, Jack!
Copyright © 2014 by Sheryle Cruse
Tuesday, October 14, 2014
Monday, October 13, 2014
Get That Nut!
What’s on your mind lately? Is there something you know you
should be doing? Are you putting something off?
Check out this little guy. Literally, he has a nut on his
mind. This nut rests on his head; yet he’s obsessed with getting it. So close
and yet, so far…
But he states something critical: today.
Yes, he’s going to get it today. Does that sound too
simplistic or even foolish? Why should it? After all, God says He’s with us.
“What shall we then say
to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
Romans
8:31
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go:
I will guide you with My eye.”
Psalm 32:8
But we can become so intimidated with today, can’t we?
There, indeed, is a school of thought out there which states that, concerning
any given goal, we’re one of two mindsets regarding it; we’re either motivated
or intimidated? Which one are you when it comes to that “thing,” that nut which
is resting on your head, taking up your thoughts?
God is with you; and there is tremendous power in your now.
Don’t let it pass you by…
“‘…behold, now is
the accepted time; behold, now is
the day of salvation.”
2 Corinthians 6:2
Is there something you need to tackle? Do you need to get a
relationship with God today? Jesus is your bridge to Him- and He never changes.
“Jesus Christ is the same yesterday
and today and forever.”
Hebrews 13:8
Take a step of faith in pursuing that which is on your mind;
get that nut today.
Copyright © 2014 by Sheryle Cruse
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Jairus' Daughter, In Stained Glass...
Mark 5:35-43:
"While he yet spake, there came from the ruler of the
synagogue's house certain which said, Thy daughter is dead: why troublest thou
the Master any further? As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he
saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe. And he
suffered no man to follow him, save Peter, and James, and John the brother of
James. And he cometh to the house of the ruler of the synagogue, and seeth the
tumult, and them that wept and wailed greatly. And when he was come in, he
saith unto them, Why make ye this ado, and weep? the damsel is not dead, but
sleepeth. And they laughed him to scorn. But when he had put them all out, he
taketh the father and the mother of the damsel, and them that were with him,
and entereth in where the damsel was lying. And he took the damsel by the hand,
and said unto her, Talitha cumi; which is, being interpreted, Damsel, I say
unto thee, arise. And straightway the damsel arose, and walked; for she was of
the age of twelve years. And they were astonished with a great astonishment. And
he charged them straitly that no man should know it; and commanded that
something should be given her to eat."
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Think In Moderation
One of the hurdles I’ve been working
on overcoming has been the extreme, all or nothing, kind of thinking. This
approach to life can often lead to eating disorders and addictions. It
certainly did with me.
If I wasn’t astonishingly beautiful, I
was ugly. If I wasn’t impossibly rail thin, I was grotesquely obese. If I
wasn’t completely perfect, then I was a miserable failure. Extremes.
But none of it was healthy or orderly.
And, like the scripture goes…
“Let all things be done decently and in order.”
1 Corinthians 14:40
Yeah. That wasn’t me.
Neither was the
scripture…
"Let your moderation be known to all men".
Philippians 4:5
Philippians 4:5
Nope, not me either.
Recently, I came across this image and
quote from the late Marilyn Monroe. You know, the beauty icon and pop culture
symbol.
And she makes a great point. While
there’s nothing wrong with doing our best in life, each of us needs to be
careful not to cross the line into believing we need to attain unrealistic
standards of perfection. There’s no doubt Marilyn was beautiful, flawed and had
a good heart. That comes through in the images and the stories about her.
But she recognizes her inability to
attain the impossible perfection does not, however, disqualify and cancel her
already existing qualities.
And how much more would God’s Word and
His beliefs about us do the same thing…if we let that happen?
God says the following about us:
“Since
you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”
Isaiah
43:4
“I
will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”
Psalm
139:14
“O
my dove…let me see your form…for your form is lovely.”
Song
of Solomon 2:14
“…being
confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will
complete it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
Philippians
1:6
“For
I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace
and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah
29:11
We’re not to have super-inflated ideas
of ourselves. God doesn’t want arrogant or prideful thoughts. But we’re not to
have a poor, wretched sense of self, either. The point to our lives is not
image and perfection; it’s about relationship with God.
“He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the LORD
require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with
thy God?”
Micah 6:8
We need to keep in check what are attainable
Godly requirements versus what are our own oppressive, rigid rules.
Moderation. Balance. Healthy
perspective.
And no, not easy; it’s often a
lifelong, work in progress which is, yes, imperfect.
But it can be done; it can be started,
now, wherever you and I find ourselves in life.
God’s inviting us to think differently
about ourselves and our lives? Will we?
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23
Copyright © 2014 by Sheryle Cruse
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