Thursday, April 30, 2015
Marco Polo
When I was a child, I once had a
nightmare which sent me sleepwalking…all the way outside. That’s right, even
though I had no memory of doing so, I got up in the middle of the night, put on
my coat, mittens and boots (Minnesota winter, mind you), opened my front door
and walked down to the barn. From there, while still in my dream state, I
hollered for my mother, convinced I was completely alone, in the middle of
nowhere. Eventually, my mother came outside, wondering (and yelling back) what
all of the fuss was about. That finally woke me up to enthusiastically respond
to her voice. At last, at long last, I was reunited with my familiar
surroundings. I was no longer hopelessly lost.
Middle of nowhere. Anybody out there
feel that’s where they are?
When we’re kids, we often play the
game, Marco Polo. It’s basically a game of tag, with the “it” person” left to
wander, without their sight, seeking the other game players. Tag, you’re it;
that’s the objective. It’s often played in swimming pools. And originally, the
game started from the chronicles of Mr. Marco Polo, himself:
“And I was swept down by the mighty torrent. I was snagged by a fallen tree
a ways downstream. My father and uncle could not see me, as the morning fog had
not yet lifted, and I could not see my hand when directly in front of my face.
Then I heard a faint whistle in the wind, ‘Marco! Marco!’ I heard my father
crying. I responded with the only thing I could think of, ‘Polo!’ I shouted. He
then walked the bank of the river and found the tree I had been snagged on,
climbing out to save me." - Marco Polo, from, “The travels of Marco Polo, Volume 1.”
So, it also was concerning my bad
nightmare. I was shrieking Marco Polo for a rescue from my lost condition.
And how many of us play Marco Polo
with God? I suppose that game goes all the way back to “in the beginning” kind
of stuff. Genesis 3:8-9 tells us about a hide and seek game involving
Adam, Eve and God. The only problem was Adam and Eve didn’t want to be found.
“And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden
in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence
of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden. And the LORD God called…‘Where art thou?’”
It gets worse from there, as, in
Genesis 3:10-13 a blame game replaces the hide and seek.
And, after distributing some consequences (Genesis 3:14-19),
God kicks them out of Paradise (Genesis 3:23-24). Wonderful.
Marco?
Eviction.
And we’ve heard about the lost sheep
parable…
“Suppose one of you has
a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the
open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds
it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home.
Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I
have found my lost sheep.’ I tell you that in the same
way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than
over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.”
Luke 15:4-7
That’s
a better end than the Eden eviction, I suppose. But still, when it comes to
answers for our lives, what about you and I? Are we playing a game of Marco Polo with God?
Life, inevitably, causes each of us to
go off course, to get lost…
“All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to
his own way...”
Isaiah 53:6
Again
with the sheep? Great. It’s not looking too bright for us, is it? Are we
destined then to only be lost and hollering “Marco,” while getting no answer of
“Polo” from God? Is it hopeless?
After all, scripture tells us we don’t know what we’re doing…
“…the way of man is not in himself: it is not
in man that walketh to direct his steps.”
Jeremiah 10:23
More great news. So, are we left to fend for ourselves? No. God’s
faithful enough to remind us of His guidance:
“I will instruct you
and teach you in the way you should go: I will guide you with My eye.”
Psalm 32:8
What if, however, our experience doesn’t show evidence of that? Maybe
we need to ask ourselves, “who’s saying ‘Marco’ and who’s saying ‘Polo?’” Maybe
God’s waiting on us.
“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me,
saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with
lovingkindness have I drawn thee.”
Jeremiah
31:3
Feeling drawn? If you’re searching for answers to your life, then, yes,
I’d say you’re feeling drawn by God. God’s asking you, “Marco?”
“Also I heard the voice of the
Lord, saying, ‘Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?’...’”
Isaiah 6:8
What’s your response?
“...Here am I;
send me.’”
Isaiah 6:8
Is that it? Or is it more like “my way?” instead of ‘Polo?”
We like our own way, don’t we? But scripture lays out the whole issue
when Jesus taught us to pray…
“Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven.”
Matthew 6:10
Somehow, we don’t jump up and down with Marco Polo enthusiasm about
that concept. We tend to often want our will done instead of God’s.
Remember…
“All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned everyone to
his own way...”
Isaiah 53:6
Great. Again with the sheep! How’s a sheep supposed to play Marco Polo
with God in the first place?
Answer? Perhaps by letting the shepherd be the shepherd? The 23rd
Psalm says it best. Check it out:
“The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.”
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.”
It’s God’s response to our lost state, our stress, our confusion. Will
we let the Lord be our shepherd or not?
What do you say? Marco? Or Polo?
Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse
Wednesday, April 29, 2015
.jpg)
Loved, Even With The Anger Reality
I’ve had
experience with the “or else” fear mentality of anger. Coming from abuse, it
was difficult to feel anger and love coexisting simultaneously. Years later, as
an adult, it’s still been a challenge to untangle the two.
And, in my
eating disorder recovery, I’ve frequently encountered individuals who have also
been plagued with the struggle of anger versus love. Most of the time, in talking
with young girls and women, if there’s ever been a disagreement, they often view
it as me “hating” them, all of a sudden. Not true.
Even if/when I’m angry about something, it’s
not hatred. But, because of the importance subscribed to approval, unless there
is an overjoyed, enthusiastic “yes response,” rejection, hatred and all manner
of negative conclusions are viewed to be the only result.
We have
gotten the anger thing quite twisted. Scripture tells us anger will come. How
we respond to it is the greater issue:
“Be ye angry, and sin not…”
Ephesians 4:26
Easier said
than practiced, I know. But I think a key to it is recognizing anger does not
equal hatred/loss of love. We can be angry and
love fiercely at the same time.
Someone once
said the opposite of love is not hate; it’s indifference. Good point.
After all,
how many love relationships gone sour have had individuals who are unaffected
by them? There’s usually some revenge fantasies, some desire to hurt the other
party. We, as our base natures, want to hurt the one who hurt us. Not exactly
lovely and noble, but human? Oh yeah! There’s tons of humanity oozing there!
If we’ve
come from a background of abuse and perfectionism, it’s especially difficult to
remain neutral. We are affected all over the place! We become sensitive to any
perceived slight or rejection, all because we determine love must be constantly approving of us, be
perfect and never hurt, especially if we’ve been abused. There is a premium on
the “love as action” element. And, it’s further complicated if we cannot
separate OUR “who” from our “do.” We want approval for every action, forsaking
the reality that love approves of us as human beings, but not necessarily of
every human action.
God loves us
unconditionally. There’s nothing we can do to get Him to “un-love” us.
“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”
Isaiah 43:4
“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”
Isaiah 41:9
“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me,
saying, ‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with
lovingkindness have I drawn thee.’”
Jeremiah 31:3
Yep, there’s
a lot of love going on. There’s nothing we can do to make Him love us less- or more.
He loves, beyond our finite understanding of the word and the experience.
But does
that mean that God is absolutely thrilled with everything we do? Of course not.
In some instances, God may even be peeved with us. But He never hates us. He
just isn’t always happy with our choices.
Some of us,
however, may have encountered abusive experiences in which love was
conditional, carrying perfect expectations and wrathful violence if a standard
was not achieved and maintained. The “or else” sense of dread can paralyze and
confuse us; we never know where we stand.
And, if
that’s how it is with human relationships, how much more powerful is this
dynamic with a perfect ultimately powerful God?
But there’s
no “or else” to God’s love for us, regardless of how He feels about our
choices. He loves- constantly…
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels
nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor
height nor depth nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from
the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:38-39
In fact, He
got there first…
“We love him, because he first loved us.”
1 John 4:19
And, because
of that “first love,” He gave us Jesus, even while we were imperfect, sinning,
careless and, perhaps even, unloving?
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his
only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have
everlasting life.”
John 3:16
“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while
we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8
Let’s face
it. If God had to wait until we got our perfectly loving act together, He’d
STILL be waiting for it to happen! Again, I repeat this scripture…
“We love him, because he first loved us.”
1 John 4:19
He loved us
while being pleased, frustrated, hurt by, concerned for, aware of, merciful and
gracious with us. And yes, during that whole love fest process, God has been
angry. An angry God is scary. We’re taught about “the fear of the Lord” in
scripture (Psalms 19:9; Psalms 34:11;
Proverbs 9:10; Proverbs 10:27; Proverbs
14:26; Proverbs 14:27; Proverbs 19:23). But that has to do with respecting Him, not being afraid of Him.
Nevertheless,
we need to remember God’s attitude to His anger…
“For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favor is life: weeping may endure for a
night, but joy cometh in the
morning.”
Psalm 30:5
We’d benefit
tremendously to adopt this perspective in our own lives, in relating to God and
others. Scripture tells us to “let it go,” in fact…
“Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your
wrath.”
Ephesians 4:26
If our
relationships don’t reflect that, they need to be examined and corrected; they
may be abusive and toxic. If our view of God or even ourselves runs counter to Ephesians
4:26, it’s self-destructive; it’s not God’s chosen best for us.
Isn’t it
time to free ourselves from the stifling conditions we place upon love? God
loves, anger or no anger. He never takes that love away.
Whatever
your experience has been with love and anger, please rest in God’s love being
more powerful, more eternal than any temporary and/or inaccurate situation
you’ve encountered.
God loves
you.
Here. Now.
Forever.
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels
nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor
height nor depth nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from
the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:38-39
Copyright © 2015 by
Sheryle Cruse
Tuesday, April 28, 2015
Hungry Hungry Hippos
Featured in the April 2015 issue of Serene Scene Magazine,
Cruse discusses the insatiable nature of addictions and compulsions.
http://serenescenemagazine.com/serene%20scene/Serene%20Scene%20April%202015/FLASH/index.html?page=36
(How Far We’ve Come) 10 Beauty Tips From 100 Hundred Years Ago
Beauty tips, published in 1908, include the following:
1. Bear Oil Hair Tonic
"One of the finest hair
tonics, if not the best known, is this: I pint High Wine, 1 pint Water, 1
pint Bear's Oil. By applying it to the scalp, it not only stops the hair
falling out, almost at first application, but it will restore gray hair to
natural color, and cause the hair to thicken."
2. Corset Budgeting
"A French woman wears a fifty dollar dress
and a fifteen dollar corset, An American woman wears a two hundred dollar dress
and a two dollar and a-half corset."
3. Meat Facials
"Many Parisian ladies, in the secrecy of
their own chambers, on retiring at night, or some part of the day, bind their
faces with thin slices of raw beef or veal. For several years a popular lady
has used this remedy to feed the tissues of the face, with remarkable results.
At thirty-eight she has the complexion and skin of a girl of eighteen."
4. Lard Primer
"A good base for makeup is rendered lard,
made by pouring boiling water on lard in a basin... It is usually scented with
oil verbena, though attar of roses is pleasanter, but more expensive."
5. Pucker Your Lips
"The first thing to consider is the lips.
From very ancient times lemon has been the favorite means of promoting their
redness; a slice of lemon or lime daily rubbed on the lips just to cause
tingling leaves them pleasantly red, provided they are not cracked."
6. Poison for Bright Eyes
"The prescription of this ancient beautifier
is 1-100 of a grain of arsenic and two grains of black pepper. One of these
pills should be taken after dinner. It clears the complexion and brings a ruddy
glow to the lips and cheeks, but should only be taken when the tongue is
uncoated by fur in the morning, and never if there is any tendency to redness
or roughness of the skin, or by those who suffer from flatulence."
7. Poor Bunnies
"There lie many great veins, all conducting
upward toward the heart. If a tame rabbit is taken and held in the upright
position for half an hour, it becomes unconscious. More interesting however is
a second experiment, in which the animal's abdomen was tightly bandaged, It was
then found that standing upright had not the slightest effect upon it. The
conclusion that must inevitably be forced upon us all is that binding the waist
has a definite effect on the circulation of the blood."
8. Sandpaper Palms
"The best way to polish or to complete the
polishing of the nails it to bend the fingers on to the palm of the hand by
bending the knuckles and first joint while keeping the last joint straight, and
to rub briskly the nails on the palm of your other hand."
9. Take Your Temperature
"Complexion Improvers: Most of the
preparations sold under this or similar names contain corrosive sublimate,
perchloride of mercury. This powerful drug must be used with caution, as it
produces marked alteration in, and hardening of, the skin... We can, fortunately,
minimize or entirely remove the undesirable action of this drug by adding a
little yolk of egg to the lotion."
10. Nice Girls Are Bustiest
"Every well sexed woman desires a
beautiful, well-rounded bust, and I am sure you are not an exception. As the
emotions affect to a very great extent the female organs, and as these in turn
affect the bust, it is essential, as you doubtless already understand, to
refrain from indulgence in anger, grief, worry, jealousy, etc."
(1-3 from Amy Ayer's, Facts
for Ladies; 4,-9 from Cora Brown Potter's The Secrets of Beauty and
Mysteries of Health; 10 from My Lady Beautiful, Or, The Perfection of
Womanhood by Alice M. Long. Photo is the actress Sarah Bernhardt,
demonstrating an exercise for posture in Ms. Long's book).
Monday, April 27, 2015
Sunday, April 26, 2015
The Real Rosie the Riveter
I just found
out the real Rosie the Riveter, Mary Doyle Keefe, died on April 23 at age 92. She
was the model for the Norman Rockwell painting which symbolized the
strength and contributions of women in the war effort during World War II has
died.
And looking at the powerful image, I was struck.
An
overall-clad Keefe is depicted with a sandwich in one hand and her right arm
sitting on top of a lunch box with the word "Rosie" on it. A rivet
gun sits in her lap. The painting intended to raise war morale. It showed a
strong, capable woman.
Again, it made me think of the Proverbs 31 Woman criteria,
especially these verses:
13 She selects wool and
flax
and works with eager hands.
and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her female servants.
17 She sets about her work
vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
her arms are strong for her tasks.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
29 “Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
There’s no mention of a perfect bikini body or aesthetic
standard she dutifully meets. She is noble, strong and a woman of integrity.
Oh, if only we
could truly celebrate the entirety of Rosie’s virtues! If only we saw value
beyond the superficial. May we, as females, truly embody Rosie’s Proverbs 31
Woman spirit!
Copyright © 2015 by
Sheryle Cruse
Saturday, April 25, 2015
No Wire Hangers!
I admit it, I love guilty pleasure
chick flicks. And one which fully engages all of my angst-driven feminine drama
is the 1981 film, “Mommie Dearest,” starring Faye Dunaway as the legendary
screen star, Joan Crawford. The movie was based on the tell-all book written by
the star’s adopted daughter, Christina Crawford.
It’s now become a part of popular
culture. We’ve heard one of the most famous lines repeated in jokes and
commentary. According to the book and film, Christina endured a traumatic rage
episode in which her mother, having a meltdown, snaps when she sees a wire
hanger in Christina’s closet. I guess only satin and lace hangers were acceptable.
Whatever that represented to Ms. Crawford, she became unhinged, shrieking the
now famous line, “No wire hangers ever!” From there, Ms. Crawford throws all of
the dresses out of the closet, onto to floor and proceeds to beat Christina
with the wire hanger, all, of course, in an emotional upset. There was crying
and screaming from both mother and daughter.
I know, fun times.
So, why am I mentioning this? The wire
hangers made me recall an article I read on the fashion industry. Stay with me
now. The question asked was concerning why models had to be so thin for the
clothes the designers made. The answer given? Models were to be the clothes
hangers; and these fashions supposedly looked “better” on thinner models who
resembled those hangers. Yikes. And so, that’s why the sample sizes tend to be
size 0 or size 2 at the largest. Just try to find those same fashions, created
in larger sizes, even those referred to as “plus sizes.” Not exactly happening,
is it?
I started to make a connection between
this famous line and a better stance on our own body acceptance. Human beings
have far too much value to simply be regarded as hangers. It’s demoralizing to
be so casual about anyone’s body. We’re supposed to be the Temple of God, not a
display rack.
“Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit,
who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.”
1 Corinthians 6:19
We are made in the image of God (Genesis
1:26). Anything which argues that reality dishonors our humanity and
dishonors God. There are some people who naturally possess that thin frame.
“The
body type portrayed in advertising as the ideal is possessed naturally by only
5% of the American females.”
The Renfrew Center Foundation for Eating
Disorders, “Eating Disorders: A Summary
of Issues, Statistics, and Resources,” published September 2002,
But the emphasis on this particular
body shape, unfortunately, has contributed to a proliferation of harmful body
image perceptions and disordered eating. This line of thinking encourages us,
indeed, to conform, no matter how destructive that may be to our health and
wellbeing. I struggled for a long time to be just like this model or that model.
I struggled with eating disorders for years because of it. And, for what? So I
could be viewed as a clothes hanger? How insane is that?
It’s not about blaming the fashion
industry, the models, the designers or the magazines. It’s about seeing how
valuable we are in God’s eyes, while rejecting any other lying argument.
“And be not
conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind,
that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
Romans 12:2
Do we believe God or do we conform to
a harmful lie? We can choose.
You can; I can. Concerning the argument
that we should be clothes hanger thin, each one of us can speak to that,
proclaiming, “No wire hangers ever!”
Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)