The Race

 

I don’t know about your physical education class when you were a kid, but my class always participated in the presidential physical fitness test every year. Is anyone out there groaning yet? As part of that test to assess young people’s fitness levels, things like pushups, sit ups and pull ups were measured. But the thing which caused me the most dread- and the least success- was the 600 yard run. Now, is anyone out there groaning? For this overweight, uncoordinated kid, the run was not a test of my fitness, but rather, a means of humiliation and failure.

If you’re not familiar with this test, let me break it down. In short, it involved letting a bunch of hyped up kids run around the football field twice to measure their personal fitness. Doesn’t sound too bad? Perhaps, if you’re a long distance runner, you wouldn’t sweat the field one bit. But, for me, year after year, I feared it, anticipating the worst possible outcome: face plants, side aches and of course, coming in last.

And, sure enough, each time I ran this race, clumsy me would surface, tripping and falling as I endeavored to successfully round the football field twice. I would start out strong, trying to run fast, with my blue Nikes pounding the grass. I would try not to panic, thinking the worst about myself. Sometimes, in the start of the race, I’d even think, “this isn’t so bad.”

But reality would show up soon enough. Eventually, one by one, the other kids would pass me. I, again, had the sinking feeling of defeat and embarrassment as “everyone else” seemed to finish, as a herd, in a timely fashion, while I was the one stray loser, stumbling to the finish line all by myself. By this point, I was breathing heavy and hurting, having to walk, instead of run, this race, just to keep myself from falling over. And, as I crossed the finish line (if that’s what you want to call it), the other kids laughed at me. Fun experience with physical education- yay!  

I felt like a failed freak. It was further confirmation I was subpar; I wasn’t good enough. The prospect of a race was intimidating for me. And, indeed, what started in childhood impacted my life, far into my adulthood.

Yes, a football field is huge when I was nine or ten years old. It felt like it was never ending, in fact. And it still seems immense, now that I’m an adult. But what I see, years later, post the football field tests, is that the race never goes away. It just transforms into the race of life.

That’s where the problem set in. As the race of life began, I set myself up for failure right away. How? I imposed perfection on myself. Whether it was by procrastination, eating disorder behaviors or unrealistic expectations from ever changing achievements, the core issue was the same: perfection. It’s one I’m still working on to this day.

Indeed, part of my definition of perfection involved “getting it” quickly. My entire life, I have felt plagued by self- doubt, never feeling I caught on to something “everyone else” just automatically picked up with no problem. How’s that for a nice, tidy little lie? Ah, yes. It’s that thought that we’re different than the “normal,” status quo “everyone else.” Comparing ourselves against others is dangerous, isn’t it? When we’re so focused on others, we lose sight of ourselves.

Let’s go back to the race again. Runners are often instructed to not look at their fellow competitors when they’re in the middle of a race. Why? Is it because of some savvy psyche out strategy? No. Simply put, it’s to keep from getting distracted, so he/she won’t face plant into the ground because the runner isn’t paying attention to where he/she is going. Lesson: run your own race.

“…let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.”

Hebrews 12:1

Easier said than done? You bet. But is it achievable? Yes. It’s not because we’re perfect. It’s not even because we’re fast. Some of us pick up things at a slower pace. But it’s about continuing the race, at whatever speed you and I find ourselves running-or walking-or crawling. It’s about the concept from two words, “keep going.” Are you doing that? Am I?

“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.”

Ecclesiastes 9:11

There are times in our lives when it appears no movement, whatsoever, is happening. No one is immune from frustration, from situations in our lives in which there appear to be insurmountable obstacles. There is no “everyone else.” Each one of us is subject to “time and chance,” like Ecclesiastes tells us. And, it’s during these challenging times, I’m often reminded of the Reverend Charles Spurgeon quote, “By perseverance, the snail reached the ark.”

Do you feel like a snail, like you’re losing your own race? Where are you looking? Are you focusing your sight on other people or on your own life?

“Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.”

Proverbs 4:26- 27

How is your race going? Are you running it, knowing God is running it with you? It’s not a corny concept; it’s a real Truth. For every race you’ve participated in, football field or no football field, God is running with you.

“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him...”

2 Chronicles 16:9

The word “perfect” doesn’t mean “perfect;” it means focused on God. That’s the real challenge of our individual races, isn’t it? We’re called to live our lives for God, not to live them perfectly. You are not alone in that challenge and in that race. And you’re not defeated. God is for you, not against you (Romans 8:31). You are meant to be a winner and to overcome.

So, embrace your race!

“…let us run with patience the race that is set before us.”

Hebrews 12:1

Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse