Thursday, December 31, 2015
Wednesday, December 30, 2015
Words, Words, Words
As someone
who’s had instances of writer’s block, this scripture frequently comes to mind:
“Be not rash with thy mouth, and let not thine heart be hasty
to utter anything before God:
for God is in heaven, and thou
upon earth: therefore let thy words be few.”
Ecclesiastes 5:2
Granted, it
doesn’t always feel conducive to the writing process; words are kind of
important.
“The tongue has the
power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 18: 21
I remember,
as a kid, having some cutesy stationery with babies, spouting statements like
“Be patient; God isn’t finished with me” and “It is better to remain silent and
be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.” That one really stuck
with me. And, it was only years later I discovered that cutesy slogan was, in
fact, scriptural.
“He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an
excellent spirit. Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.”
Proverbs 17:27-28
Furthermore, there’s a little thing called
consequences:
“The lips of fools bring them strife,
and their mouths invite a beating.
and their mouths invite a beating.
The mouths of fools are their undoing,
and their lips are a snare to their very lives.”
and their lips are a snare to their very lives.”
Proverbs 18:6-7
Yeah, that’s
not appealing. Being ensnared does NOT sound like a party to me.
I keep
thinking about Shakespeare’s character, Hamlet ranting about “Words, words, words…”
and we know how well THAT went. (If you don’t, please feel free to look it up).
The point
is, words carry results with them, either positive or negative; they’re not
neutral.
“The tongue has the
power of life and death and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 18: 21
And that includes our
recovery processes. What do we say about ourselves, to ourselves when it comes to the state of our lives?
Do we lie? That’s often
where addiction can really flourish.
“He whose tongue is deceitful falls into
trouble.”
Do we isolate? Again,
left to our own devices, addictive choices can run rampant.
“A man who isolates himself seeks his
own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment.”
He rages against all wise judgment.”
Proverbs 18:1
Do we embrace help/God?
Do we…really?
Let’s be real, the twelve steps wouldn’t be
powerful at all if it weren’t for the reality of their action words.
1.
We admitted we
were powerless over a substance or behavior ─ our lives had become unmanageable.
- We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- We made a decision to turn our will and our lives
over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of
ourselves.
- We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another
human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- We are entirely ready to have God remove all these
defects of character.
- We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
- We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and
became willing to make amends to them all.
- We made direct amends to such people wherever
possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- We continued to take personal inventory, and when we
were wrong, promptly admitted it.
- We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we
understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the
power to carry that out.
- Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of
these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice
these principles in all our affairs.
Do we get it right?
Most of the time, probably NOT. We’re
imperfect. Yet, we’re still held accountable for the words we say.
So, worth considering, let
words be few.
“Let the words of my
mouth, and the meditation of my heart, be acceptable in thy sight, O LORD, my
strength, and my redeemer.”
Psalm 19:14
Perhaps there’s some
merit to the writer’s block condition after
all.
Copyright © 2015 by
Sheryle Cruse
Tuesday, December 29, 2015
Recovery, Choices and Holidays
Featured in
December 29th’s Christians In Recovery, Cruse discusses the self-medicating
temptation we often face during the stressful holiday season.
Steps To the New Year
My new year’s resolution is… or was (fill in the blank)…
Sound familiar?
Yes, it’s that time of year again. The
infamous New Year’s resolutions have started and/or have been broken by now. How
many of us feel “what’s the point?” Adding to that already negative experience,
those of us in recovery can often feel all the more hopeless pressure and
failure if we “resolved” to stop a behavior which relates to our addictions,
compulsions and disorders. Be honest: what did you swear you’d do or never do again?
So, we’re into a brand new year. Are
we already off to a disappointing start?
The old adage states a journey of a
thousand miles begins with one step. So, what does that say about each one we
take in this new year?
Some steps in the recovery journey are
steps of progress. But what hits us with devastation are those other steps,
right? Sometimes, in recovery, the step we’re taking feels like one of failure
or relapse. We may even feel like the best we can hope for is to trudge and
sink our footsteps into barren cold snow.
How are we to regard those
kinds of steps? As hopeless? As final? As paralysis? No. they are just as much
a part of progress as any victory, “good day,” or “good step.”
Motivational speaker, John Maxwell, wrote
a book on a wonderful concept to consider, especially in moments of failure and
relapse: “Failing Forward.”
Think about that.
In life, unfortunately, we often will
fail. Recovery is not immune from that failure reality either. But there is hope;
with each failure; whether you feel it or not, you and I are moving forward,
making progress. One of my favorite scriptures, encouraging me through many
dark, trying steps, has been that of 2 Corinthians 3:18:
“And we all, who with
unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed
into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is
the Spirit.”
Recovery means going from step to
step, glory to glory and even, sometimes failure to failure. But please know
that God’s in control of our every step, regardless of our feelings about where
we’re going. We are moving forward;
God is too wonderful to allow us to be left.
“I will never leave you nor
forsake you.”
Hebrews 13:5
It may be at a snail’s pace, this
progress we’re seeking. But that snail; gets a bad rap. A hugely inspiring
quote is from the 19th century English preacher, Charles H.
Spurgeon:
“By perseverance the snail reached the
ark.”
We need to keep that slow movement in
mind. Slow movement does not mean no
movement. And the end result for the snail was the goal, the ark. Did the snail
have obstacles, rough terrain and dangers along the way? Probably. Did that
stop the snail? No. The snail moved slowly, in small increments. As do we.
“For who has despised the day of small things? for they shall
rejoice..”.
Zechariah 4:10
Yes, progress seems slow, if it can be
even seen at all. You don’t see any positive results from all of your efforts,
tears and pain. You feel like you’re going nowhere, nowhere good, anyhow.
But there is meaning in this tiny,
gradual step each of us may be taking, whether it be in life, in recovery- or in both, at the same time.
Taking these tiny steps, one by one, does
have a cumulative effect. It builds upon our future and individual destinies.
And yes, that applies to the new year, resolution or no resolution.
We need to remember that God is our
loving Father, seeing us as His children. Because of that perspective, He’s always
helping and preparing us. It doesn’t matter if/when we fail or fall. He’s still
our loving Father, who desires to bless His children. In fact, scripture tells
us…
“So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your
children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those
who keep on asking him!”
Matthew 7:11
So, take that next step. Remember Jeremiah 29:11. It includes-
it never excludes- you!
“For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD,
"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a
future.”
It’s all in how we look at it. How
then, are we choosing to look at our recovery processes and our lives? Do we
see beauty, value and potential? Or do we see ugliness, worthlessness, failure
and a pointless existence? We can choose.
“I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I
have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose
life, that both thou and thy seed may live.”
The fact is, just because we feel a
certain way, doesn’t mean that’s truly the way it is.
“When
I was a child, I spake as a child,I understood as a child, I thought as a
child:
but when I became a man, I put awaychildish things. For now we see through a
glass, darkly; but then face to face: nowI know in part; but then shall I know even
as also I am known.”
but when I became a man, I put awaychildish things. For now we see through a
glass, darkly; but then face to face: nowI know in part; but then shall I know even
as also I am known.”
1
Corinthians 13:11
We may feel hopeless or like a failure.
But those are feelings. God’s Word,
instead, is the Truth! And yes, once
again, here’s what God says about us:
“Since
you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”
Isaiah
43:4
“I
have chosen you and have not cast you away.”
Isaiah
41:9
“For
I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace
and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah
29:11
Let’s see ourselves differently. We
may feel we are one way, but why limit ourselves to that, especially if it’s
harmful? God has more for each one of us than just our present situation,
perception and condition.
We’re in a brand new year right now.
What kind of step are you taking today in this new start? Whatever it may be,
please realize that it is one which is lovingly guided by God. Having a great
step today? Wonderful! Thank God for it! Having a struggling step or a
“failure” step today? Please recognize that God’s allowing it to move you to another place of victory, recovery,
success and help. You will get there; you ARE
getting there. Remember your journey, not just today’s step. There’s more to
your life, more to God in your life
than you realize!
Happy New Year! Have a wonderful,
healthy, grace-filled journey this next year and beyond, step by step.
Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse
Monday, December 28, 2015
Sunday, December 27, 2015
Spelling Believe
If you’re a
recovering perfectionist like me, you may be frustrated with who- and where you
are in your life right now. Questions like, “why aren’t I (fill in the blank)?”
or “when will I ever get there?” may be rolling around in your brain. Ah yes,
negative self-talk. And this time of year is the perfect time for that kind of
negative chatter: New Year’s, with all of its promised- and- on- the- way- to-
be- broken resolutions.
Years ago,
the scripture Mark 9:24 helped me so much as I struggled and doubted not just
myself, but my own faith in God. It was simple, real and to the point:
“Lord, I believe. Help Thou my unbelief.”
A zinger-
and a sentence which changed my life!
But, much
like the excitement around making a New Year’s resolution, after the thrilling
dust of that impact settled, tedious life came into the picture with not as
much dramatic evidence of powerful transformation as I would have liked. Nope.
I wanted “presto, change-o;” God wanted my trust, a slower, gradual, deep kind
of thing, built up over time. A long time. A long, long time. Years.
Enter the
next little scripture ditty:
“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the
glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to
glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 3:18
Yeah,
somehow, this one wasn’t quite as thrilling as Mark 9:24. And that was
the mistake on my part. It wasn’t grabbing onto the scriptures that was the
problem. The scriptures are Truth, relevant and powerful. The issue was
affixing my impatient “quicker than a microwave popping out popcorn”
expectations to them. It’s just like the instant promising lie of a kept
resolution, huh? Classic. And I fell for it. I wanted things done in my timing
not God’s timing. Because my timing was such great hot stuff, right?
Yeah.
And so, my
little noggin ran away with the thought, “it’s not working.” Are you thinking
that about your own resolutions, however successfully kept they may be? I just
couldn’t seem to make the connection that God had a much better handle on me,
on my life and the situations going on than I did. I was too busy… with what?
With my study of God’s Word and will? Nope. With the study and the practice of
being more patient with the process? Nope again.
So, what was
the deal?
Me, me, me. That’s
what I was so busy with. That was the deal; that was the problem. And that was
part of what was blinding me to my ability to believe- or at least blinding me
to a healthier perception of believing, anyway.
Again,
classic.
I mentioned
the microwave earlier. In popular culture today, the word “microwave” doesn’t
just refer to the oven that’s in most homes; it refers to instantaneous results
which require no time, no waiting and no patience. Hurry up! Hurry up!
(I hear that
Queen song of the same sentiment playing in my head).
“I want it
all. I want it all. I want it all. And I want it now!”
But faith,
perseverance, belief, recovery and life are all about being actively in
process. All of these things are ongoing, living organisms. They’re alive. We,
as human beings, often have a way of creating what we believe, for good-or not
so good.
“…Because of your faith, it will happen."
Matthew 9:29
Yikes!
This new year, are you in process or
have you, instead, imposed an oppressive, perfectionistic and harmful deadline
on yourself? An impossible resolution? There are even those of us in eating
disorder and addiction recovery process who just transfer the same
perfectionistic tendencies which got us mired in our struggles into our actual
recovery. There is no such thing as a perfect recovery; there is no such thing
as a perfect life! All of us fall short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23)!
We will blow it. It’s not a case of
“if,” but “when.” But God knows this- and He still is calling us to believe,
nevertheless.
“As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he saith
unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe.”
Mark 5:36
“… ‘Fear not: believe only...’”
Luke 8:50
Just because
we don’t see something we want instantly happening, doesn’t mean the entire
thing is hopeless. What if it was all just simply “in process?”
Maybe, right
now, the word “believe” isn’t spelled out completely, satisfying our wishes for
a brand new perfect life in this brand new year. But believing is powerful. And
what we put our attention to is powerful. What do you want to believe? The best
or the worst?
God has not-
and will not- give up on you as you’re going through your life, trying to spell
everything out.
God is on
your side!
“What,
then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against
us?”
Romans 8:31
Choose then
to tweak your believing. Instead of believing that you have to be perfect, that
you’re hopeless or that “it’s never going to happen,” believe that you are
getting there, with God’s help every step- and breath- of the way!
You’re in
process; faith is being spelled out for you and indeed, you are going “from
glory to glory.” And this new year is, indeed, a part of that process.
No microwave
required. Only God.
Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse
Friday, December 25, 2015
Ah, Family (God, help me!)
Okay, I’m writing this entry “pre-holiday get
together.” Like a lot of you out there, our family will be embarking on the
traveling, the activity planning and gift giving challenges that can only come
from spending time with family.
Let’s break it down even more; we’re preparing
for the challenge of family itself! Ah, yes, I hear the groans and the sighs
already! Family…yeah.
“…Lord, help me.”
Matthew 15:25
Just an encouraging reminder- to you and to me, as well-
“this, too, shall pass.”
I know this is a REAL challenge to all of us; let’s face it,
when it comes to family, as much as we love them, we all have our triggers!
Hang on! God wants to bless you today.
So, let’s try not to dump the carrot Jell-O mold on anyone’s
head or bust someone’s jaw with a fruitcake, or tie up family members with
holiday tinsel or take a baseball bat to the tree. It will be over soon. We can
all make it through this; we can.
Like I said, I write
this “pre- holiday get together,” so, I’m going into “battle,” just as much as
anyone else out there right now.
As irritating, frustrating and downright maddening as family
can be, still, in some way, they are a blessing to us. Try, therefore, to pick
out SOME blessing needle in the
family stress haystack as you may find yourself enduring the get together. I
know I’ll be doing my own looking! Let’s keep each other covered in prayer, God
bless and merry Christmas to everyone out there!!!
I’ll report back… Here’s hoping!
Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse
Thursday, December 24, 2015
“God with Us"
“Hark the herald angels
sing
‘Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled.’"
‘Glory to the newborn King!
Peace on earth and mercy mild
God and sinners reconciled.’"
Christmas- stressed out yet? Christmas
trees, Christmas lights, Christmas shopping, Christmas stress, Candy canes, Santa
this and Santa that are all overwhelmingly set before us now. We all know the
cues. Everything, seemingly, screams celebration about the season. But there’s
a quote out there, worth noting: “keep the main thing the main thing.”
Do we?
For those of us with all manner of
eating disorders, compulsions and addictions, it’s even more difficult to focus
on that main thing; forget about the healthy, positive things, including recovery!
So much is coming at us from every side: parties, temptations, family stress and
opportunities to overindulge in every possible vice and escape.
Now, who feels festive?
So, after we wade through all of that mire, we can maybe find ourselves
facing Jesus. In the holiday sense, He’s difficult to miss this time of year.
Baby Jesus displays are in churches, court yards and on the front lawns,
usually blinking or glowing some form of Las Vegas style light. So yes, in the
middle of shopping and stressing, we often “come to Jesus,” at least the
plastic baby Jesus, anyway.
But what’s more challenging for us is the real and relevant encounter of Jesus
truly being with us. The Bible tells us He is.
“…and they shall call his name Emmanuel,
which being interpreted is, God with us.”
Matthew 1:23
But feeling
that this time of year, especially if we struggle with our compulsions,
addictions and relapses? It doesn’t seem to be so easy to embrace that Emmanuel, now, does it? So, is this Baby Jesus, indeed, our Savior? Or
is He just a decoration?
Matthew 1:23 reminds us of Jesus’ Name, Emmanuel,
“God with us.” That means that as we Christmas hustle and bustle, Christmas
shop and Christmas stress out about this wonderful time of year, He is right
there. When we’re cheery, when we’re grumpy, He’s there. When we forget Him,
when we remember Him, He’s still there. When we feel great about our lives and
recovery processes, He’s there. When we have relapsed in a cataclysmic way,
jeopardizing life, health, relationships and finances, not to mention, our
recovery, He’s there. Therefore, can we believe beyond the Christmas
decoration’s depiction? Can we believe God is really with us?
One of the biggest lies I ever believed
in my eating disorders struggles was that I was abandoned by God. My own sick,
perfectionistic mandates ordered me to do my life all by myself, with no room
for mistakes, whatsoever. Grace? Unconditional love? Forgiveness? Acceptance?
Forget about that! I gradually
determined, the further into my eating disorders I sank, that I was hopeless,
damned, beyond saving or loving in any possible way. I had “gone too far” for
God to reach me. And because of that, God had forsaken me. I even went so far
as to believe God hated me!
See yourself here? Are you battling with
self-loathing, feeling abandoned and rejected right now? Is the Baby Jesus just
a Christmas decoration to you, holding no real powerful application to your
life and recovery? Are your imperfect, even sick thoughts calling the shots,
even spiting God’s Truth? The famous talk show host, Dr. Phil McGraw, has a
great question he frequently asks his guests regarding their negative choices:
“How’s that working for you?”
Indeed, God tells us that our thoughts
and His thoughts aren’t exactly on the same page:
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my
ways, says the Lord. For as the
heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My
thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
Hmmm…
Could there be a potential problem with
that reality, maybe? Whether or not we want to admit it, our addictions,
compulsions and disorders are of a spiritual nature. They negatively impact not
only our bodies and minds, but also our spirits, the very core identity of who
we are as individuals. These destructive behaviors can convince us that they are our answer to life and
problems, not “God with us.” We believe the lie over God’s Truth.
And what is that Truth? It’s everything that addictions and disorders
promise, but fail to deliver: love, acceptance and meaningful purpose. For
instance…
“I have chosen you and have not cast you
away.”
Isaiah 41:9
“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me,
saying, Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with
lovingkindness have I drawn thee.”
Jeremiah
31:3
“We love him, because he first loved us.”
1 John 4:19
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels
nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor
height nor depth nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from
the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:38-39
And of course, the well-known and often
repeated verse of John 3:16:
“For God so loved the world, that he gave his
only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have
everlasting life.”
You may have a nativity display in your
home; that manger scene may be a part of your yearly Christmas tradition. But
what are you doing with Jesus during the “off season?” What do you do with
Jesus in your daily life and recovery experiences when it is not Christmas? Is Jesus relevant to you,
beyond a decoration or a Bible story?
We come now to the close of another
calendar year. It’s a time of “new beginnings.” Dare to invite God into your
life; dare to invite Him to daily, practically be with you! Jesus is relevant, as is. He doesn’t just want to
merely decorate your life; He want to be in
it and bless it! Are we keeping the “main thing the main thing?” Are we
celebrating that?
Remember the main celebration: Emmanuel.
God is with us. It’s a celebration
beyond tradition; it’s God’s loving gift for us! And it’s already been done,
even before we decide to love Him back. Again…
“We love him, because he first loved us.”
1 John 4:19
Emmanuel- He’s not just a statue a
decoration or a myth. Emmanuel- “God is with us.”
But will we choose to be with God? Why not say yes? Why not
embrace “God with us” into our lives?
Copyright © 2015 by Sheryle Cruse
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