Friday, September 29, 2017
The Thermometer or the Thermostat?
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so
is he...”
Proverbs 23:7
Senator Cory
Booker, on an appearance of “The Daily Show,” recently shared a powerful lesson
with the audience:
“My father told me there are two ways
to go through life: as a thermometer or as a thermostat. A thermometer:
whatever someone says about you, you go up or down. A thermostat: you set the
temperature.”
Both the
thermometer and the thermostat reflect life and its issues, including our
stance on addiction and recovery.
And our choice
has significant ramifications concerning health, well-being and prosperity. Each
option offers its inevitable results.
So, it might
be worth our while to ponder what those very results may mean for us.
First, the thermometer:
its appeal is that self-gratifying moment. It doesn’t require much work. You
just let your feelings rip.
“A fool vents all his feelings. But a
wise man holds them back.”
Proverbs 29:11
There’s no
requirement for patience or self-control. The thermometer is when we yell at a
cashier or give the finger to the driver who cut off in traffic. And, of
course, this option is present when those of us addicts run headlong into our
destructive obsessions. The thermometer is the refusal to face and deal with
our ugly truth. It is not interested in healthy change, boundaries or saying
“no” to our wants.
The
thermometer reacts, here and now, with no sense of later consequences.
And we all
engage in it; we all blow it. It’s human nature to do so.
Still, that
humanity doesn’t cancel another simultaneous reality dwelling within us:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace,
longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such
there is no law.”
Galatians 5:22-23
Yes, there
is some hope here.
Still, this
in-dwelling necessitates our active
tapping into it. We must prioritize, decide and put it into practice. And, we
have that ability to do that.
But do we
have the willingness?
“If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the
land.”
Isaiah 1:19
Eh... that’s
a bit “if-y-er.”
The
willingness involved here is the surrender to our “Higher Power.” It is the
admission we are screwed up and vulnerable. It is the “I want to, want to change” step.
Willingness
need not be perfect, just honest, at least, as honest as our tricky hearts
afford us...
“The heart is deceitful above all
things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Jeremiah 17:9
And, let us
never forget; there is always Divine good news, to spite our seemingly hopeless
human state of being...
“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men
count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should
perish, but that all should come to repentance.”
2 Peter 3:9
We are not
alone in our flawed, addicted, troubled existences. We are not sentenced to the
unforgiving fate of the thermometer’s negative consequences.
We can make
another choice: the thermostat.
Indeed, the
thermostat challenges the instant gratification, opting for the long term “big
picture” instead. That involves dealing with ourselves.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence;
for out of it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23
“Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and
lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalms 139:23-24
It is the
decision to work, to take the harder, higher road.
And no, that
is not fun.
Nevertheless,
it is critical to the stewardship which produces the more fulfilling, longer
term rewards we desire.
“That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel
in sanctification and honor.”
1 Thessalonians 4:4
We are all
on a continuum of this stewardship principle.
And again,
it’s not about perfection; rather, it’s about prioritization. It is the
personal work of pursuing what matters to us.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and
lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalms
139:23-24 surfaces yet again. The
challenge targets our thought processes.
What is our attitude about our beloved vices, real
change and actual health?
We are thinking something about each issue.
Is it closer to disease and self-destruction
or health and prosperity?
We can choose.
And for many of us, an additional vital issue
to challenge is “the big payoff.”
What do we honestly believe about the
rewards attached to forsaking our dysfunctions?
Is the prize nonexistent?
Does it pale in comparison to the instant
gratification of our familiar addictions, disorders and vices?
Are we willing to embark on imperfect change
and choose something other than that reliable object of our affections?
Are we willing to relinquish control of our
lives to the Creator of us all?
The thermostat asks these loaded questions
with some famous “Twelve Step” principles in tow...
Step number one...
We admitted we were powerless over our
addiction/compulsion - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step number two...
Step number three...
Step number eleven...
We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we
understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power
to carry that out.
Step number twelve...
Having had a spiritual awakening as the
result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to
practice these principles in all our affairs.
In all of our struggles, questions and
decisions, we need to understand there is, indeed, a big “payoff,” a Divine
creation for each of us...
“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper
and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”
3 John 1:2
“Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above
all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.”
Ephesians 3:20
And it exists within the framework of the
thermostat. It exists when we recognize our feelings can run amok and wreak
havoc unless we submit to Divine help and order. It is the decision to choose
delayed gratification over impulse.
It is the realization life is not a “one-time
only” event. It is ongoing, needing our stamina, discipline and, when we fail,
the implementation of merciful, forgiving grace.
No matter where we are in life, in the
addiction/recovery spectrum, each of us is faced with the
thermometer-thermostat decision.
It is a daily reality, requiring our choice.
What do we choose right now?
Copyright © 2017 by Sheryle Cruse
For Every Comment, For Every Like
I recently
came across an image post on the internet. It was a female’s body, in workout
gear. And it was accompanied by this statement:
“For Every Comment,
I’ll do 10 sit ups, For Every Like, I’ll do 5 squats. Go, go, go!”
Furthermore,
this post was also followed by a series of emoticons to emphasize its message: three
arm curled biceps and one gold trophy.
(Sigh...
Here we go again...)
Exercise,
goals, striving for improvement/perfection...This is where I squirm, faced with
posts as these.
Indeed,
there is much emphasis on fitness in today’s culture. There are countless gyms,
trainers, exercise equipment, programs, workout clothes and shoes, as well as a
variety of athletic activities from which to choose. It’s overwhelming.
Yet there’s
still a rise in eating disorders and in such health issues as childhood obesity
and Type 2 Diabetes. How do we explain that?
I believe it
has a lot to do with focus and priority, the personal, daily decision to put
exercise and health in a healthy balance for our lives.
For God, in
fact, tells us that, yes, there is some benefit to exercise...
“For bodily exercise profits
little: but godliness is profitable to all things, having promise of the life
that now is, and of that which is to come.”
1 Timothy 4:8
It lowers
blood pressure, combats heart disease; it also improves circulation and mood,
just to name a few positive results.
But, like
anything used to excess, it can harm, even kill. That’s what it could have done
for me, back in the day, when I exercised for six or more hours a day, while
starving myself at the same time. That was not God’s Will. That was not profitable.
“For God is not a God of disorder
but of peace…”
1 Corinthians 14:33
So what is profitable? Moderate exercise that is
a part of life, but not our ENTIRE life. If exercise is preventing you from experiencing
other people and things in your life, to the point of disruption, that is not
profitable.
So, this
importance of “every like and comment,” where did it start?
I believe its
genesis is the heart, usually that of a wounded heart...
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of
it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23
“For where your treasure is, there will your
heart be also.”
Matthew 6:21; Luke 12:34
Long story
short: we believe the solution to our pain is found in the external, including
the external appearance.
“‘…man looks on the outward
appearance...’”
1 Samuel 16:7
We
shortchange ourselves, not taking into account the entirety of the outward
appearance situation, especially from a spiritual perspective...
“‘…For the Lord
sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord
looks on the heart.’”
1 Samuel 16:7
Yet, we value
other people’s validation over God’s, more often than not. I suppose, one can
argue, it’s because with man, there is the 3-D evidence. God, is nebulous; we
view Him via the if-y faith tactic.
So, in our
hearts somewhere, perhaps God is not “as real” as other people... and their
opinions of us.
And that can
set us up for a snare...
“The fear of man bringeth a snare...”
Proverbs 29:25
We fear
other people’s disapproval, along with our own fragile sense of self. We want
to belong; we want to be accepted, liked and included...
“Do not be
conformed to this world...”
Yet God tells us there is health and blessing if we prioritize Him, above anything of this world, appearance issues included.
“Beloved, I wish above all things
that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.”
3 John 1:2
“...whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.”
Proverbs 29:25
“Do not be
conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that
by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable
and perfect.”
Doing so is more important and beneficial than any like,
comment or opinion. Do we want something which is fleeting or something which
lasts? It’s up to us to decide.
Therefore, let’s view ourselves, most importantly, through God’s eyes and
comments, not anyone else’s.
“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”
Isaiah 43:4
“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying,
‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness
have I drawn thee.’”
Jeremiah 31:3
And let that
influence how we take care of ourselves, including outward appearance and
exercise matters.
“Don't you know that you yourselves are God's
temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?”
1
Corinthians 3:16
Let’s believe
that and accept that in everything we do!
Copyright © 2017 by
Sheryle Cruse
Thursday, September 28, 2017
Addiction: The Dissolving Cotton Candy
I am a
sucker for all things cute; therefore, I frequently find myself checking out
various animal gifs online.
A recent one
which captivated my attention was of a raccoon and some cotton candy. Has anyone
else seen it?
A raccoon
grabs a significant hunk of cotton candy and, like raccoons are prone to do,
quickly rushes to a water source to “wash it” before eating it.
And then
hard, cruel reality presents itself: the cotton candy dissolves in the water, instantly
slipping through the little guy’s tiny hands, distressing and confusing our friend.
You can almost hear him cry, “No! No! Come back!”
This gif
made me think about addiction. We are, in essence, this little raccoon, aren’t
we? We decide on and chase our cotton candy addiction, convinced it will
satisfy us. And then, somehow, right before our eyes, its solution promise
dissolves. It didn’t deliver; it didn’t last.
“Go and cry unto the gods which ye have chosen;
let them deliver you in the time of your tribulation.”
Judges 10:14
And, here we
are, left confused and lost. Now what do we do?
Well, cue
God, right?
“Fear thou not; for I
am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I
will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my
righteousness.”
Isaiah 41:10
But, do we?
That seems
to be the dilemma.
Here’s where
Eve, a raccoon and each of us all share something in common...
“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes...”
Genesis 3:6
One can
argue the phrase “eye candy” started here.
(I know, bad pun, bad pun).
Still, we
seem to be captivated with the beautiful, alluring object of our affection. It
somehow sells us on the answer of eternal satisfaction, love, happiness and
freedom from pain and fear.
And so,
going with that hard sell, we soon find it in our hands, attempting to hold it
forever, allowing it to make everything right in our lives.
But, no
matter how hard we try to hang on, it dissolves in the midst of our beings. We
try to grasp and chase, but it is gone. We torture ourselves by asking
questions like “What could I have done to make it last?”
Answer:
nothing.
That’s a
difficult answer to hear, let alone, accept.
Yet, accept
we must. It’s the bedrock of the Twelve Steps:
Step number one...
We admitted we were powerless over our
addiction/compulsion - that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step number two...
Step number three...
Step number eleven...
We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood
Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry
that out.
Step number twelve...
Having had a spiritual awakening as the
result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to
practice these principles in all our affairs.
So, yes, Psalm 118:8-9 is in full effect...
"It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in man.
It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes."
It is better to trust in the LORD than to put confidence in princes."
No, God is not cotton candy. Or, more specifically...
“God is not a man, that he should lie;
neither the son of man, that he should repent: hath he said, and shall he not
do it? Or hath he spoken, and shall he not make it good.”
Numbers 23:19
We are not to trust anything manmade. And, let’s face it, our addictions
are manmade: they are faulty, imperfect human interpretations of what God
should be to us. We craft them for ourselves because we operate under the
delusion that they work.
They don’t.
Again, what happened as the raccoon tried to wash his cotton candy?
“What
profiteth the graven image that the maker thereof hath graven it; the molten
image, and a teacher of lies, that the maker of his work trusteth therein, to
make dumb idols? Woe unto him that saith to the wood, Awake; to the dumb stone,
Arise, it shall teach! Behold, it is laid over with gold and silver, and there
is no breath at all in the midst of it.”
Habakkuk
2:18-19
Repeatedly, through failure after failure, we see how our trusted answers
did not come through. There were never meant to do so.
Only God...
"For the LORD will be your confidence,
And will keep your foot from being caught."
Proverbs 3:26
And will keep your foot from being caught."
Proverbs 3:26
He is not a man that He should lie...
And He is not cotton candy, that He should disappear.
Let’s, therefore, learn from the raccoon- and face the reality of our own
cotton candy, whatever it may be.
Copyright © 2017 by
Sheryle Cruse
Name’s Sake (No Good Deed Goes Unpunished)
A friend of
mine who is experiencing some painful family issues has repeatedly asked
herself the “why” questions.
Why is this happening to me?
Why am I being treated like this?
Why is my loved one acting in such an
ugly manner?
She has been
blindsided by a situation and a relationship she never dreamed was possible,
rife with betrayal, deception and slander. This was once a close, bonded
relationship, one filled with unconditional love and trust.
So, the
events over the last few years were a definite shock.
“Brother will betray brother to
death, and a father his child; and children will rise up against parents and
cause them to be put to death.”
Matthew 10:21
This wasn’t
supposed to happen.
So, why did
it?
The question
often produces, unfortunately, only unsatisfying silences, with, perhaps, some exceptions,
as found in scripture...
“But all these things will they do
unto you for my name's sake, because they know not him that sent me.”
John 15:21
“And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.”
“And ye shall be hated of all men for my name's sake: but he that endureth to the end shall be saved.”
Matthew 10:22
“Then shall they deliver you up to be
afflicted, and shall kill you: and ye shall be hated of all nations for my
name's sake.”
Matthew 24:9
I know, it’s
not comforting. But there appears to be a theme here.
“...for my name's sake.”
We’ve all
heard the phrase, “no good deed goes unpunished.”
This statement
is also not comforting, largely because it flies in the face of the Godly
principles we’ve staked our faith on: good triumphs over evil, we will be
blessed for our kind deeds and God is a just God.
So, how do
we reconcile this with a situation in which evil appears to be winning, wicked actions
are rewarded and God seems to be absent, incompetent or non-existent?
Once again,
we return to our theme...
“...for my name's sake.”
Living our
spiritual journey, our faith will be
tested; it’s a case of when, not if
that testing occurs.
No one is
immune. It is part of not just humanity, but the spiritual experience as well.
So, like it
or not, that means like Master, like servant...
“The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above
his lord.”
Matthew 10:24
Sooner or
later, we’ll encounter hurt and betrayal. After all, Jesus had Judas.
“But Jesus said unto him, ‘Judas,
betrayest thou the Son of man with a kiss?’”
Luke 22:48
(Check out Luke
22:3-48 for the entire gory story).
So, what
makes you and I think we’d get out of our lives unscathed?
And then,
complicating matters further (because, hey, life is already way too simple and
easy, right?), we have to deal with our recovery issues on top of everything.
No easy
feat, especially when boundaries are often blurry, at best, not everyone we
encounter is in a healthy, love and life affirming place and, oh yeah, “hurting
people hurt people” is in full force.
Goody.
No, it’s
more like good deed rubber, meet some getting punished road.
Here’s,
therefore, where we need to get a bit mercenary about our health, well-being
and yes, recovery. We need to remember how people vary widely- and their
thoughts, motivations and issues do as well.
So, with
that reality, we have the perfect storm for betrayals and persecutions of
countless scenarios.
The players
involved may or may not be aware of that. I’ve heard it said in my own faith
walk how human beings are tools either in the hand of God (good) or in the
hands of the devil (evil). We play a role in that; and often, yes, we can be deceived
and misguided. It would be ideal and much easier if everyone always choose to
be agents for good.
But we live
in a real world with free will and matching free moral agent human beings who
make choices- and not all of them are loving, informed or harmless choices.
Still more
great news to ponder.
Yet ponder
we must.
And, as we
think about the varying, often unpleasant, circumstances we encounter, we need
to have our reality check/action plan readied concerning our response when life
presents itself.
“The disciple is not above his master, nor the servant above
his lord.”
Matthew 10:24
Nothing
Pollyanna about this and it certainly doesn’t make it feel any easier as we
encounter and endure hardship of being hurt and betrayed from seemingly
unlikely directions.
Scripture, again, reminds us...
“Woe unto the world because of offences! For it must needs be
that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!”
Matthew 18:7
The definition of “woe” means:
“great sorrow or distress; things that cause sorrow or distress; troubles.”
So, yes...
Woe is betrayal.
Woe is slander.
Woe is deceit.
Woe is the unexpected, unloving behavior from our
most unexpected loved one.
Again, Jesus had woe from Judas.
And again, it comes back to our theme...
“...for my name's sake.”
Therefore, a
core element of our battle plan, in spite of painful, unfair incidents, needs
to employ Ephesians 6:7...
“With good will doing service, as to the Lord,
and not to men.”
Life is tricky, filled with unanswered
questions. One can drive himself/herself crazy trying to answer the “Judas
kiss” kind of experience we face from those “least likely” individuals.
A lot can be chalked up to “things happen.”
A lot can be chalked up to “life is unfair.”
And yes, again, there are things which fall
under the “name’s sake” classification.
“If the world hates
you, you know that it has hated Me before it hated you. If you were of the
world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but
I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you. Remember the word that I
said to you, 'A slave is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted Me,
they will also persecute you; if they kept My word, they will keep yours also.”
John 15:18-20
So, it is important to bear this in mind,
coupled with the seemingly impossible directive given to us concerning our
troubled feelings/responses...
“Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto
you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled,
neither let it be afraid.”
John 14:27
None of this invalidates our pain, our
heartbreak or our persecution.
Rather, it’s to remind us there is more going
on than just our finite experiences- and understandings of them.
“For our light
affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and
eternal weight of glory;”
2 Corinthians 4:17
There is, in fact, a Glory principle in
effect; and it doesn’t require we feel the positive feelings of that
Glory...
“But the God of all grace, who hath called us
unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while,
make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you.”
1 Peter 5:10
Now if we are children, then we are heirs--heirs of God and
co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may
also share in his glory.”
Romans 8:17
So, perhaps,
instead of asking our “why questions,” we should, instead, ask such things
as...
What spiritual lesson is being taught
to me?
How can I embody the Savior’s
behaviors? (Yes, I
know, that rhymes).
What is the Glory test here?
It is
unrealistic enough to be believe we will be unchallenged and have an easy,
pain-free life experience.
Likewise, in
the faith realm, when we encounter offense and human experiences which make us
feel judged, betrayed and persecuted, it also unrealistic to blame that stuff
solely on a human being. There is also a spiritual warfare element added to the
equation...
“For we wrestle not against flesh and
blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the
darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.”
Ephesians 6:12
And yes,
that especially applies to the “Name sake” issue.
So, it would
do us all some good to bear this in mind as we deal with whatever “blindsiding”
situation we face. We are not above suffering.
But, if we
remember this “Name sake” principle, we also realize how, yes, we are also not
removed from a deeper promise.
“If ye be reproached for the name of
Christ, happy are ye; for the spirit of glory and of God resteth upon you: on
their part he is evil spoken of, but on your part he is glorified.”
1 Peter 4:14
Indeed, it’s
not about being punished at all. Rather, it is about the Divine reward of
Savior resemblance.
So, let’s
choose to experience that.
Copyright © 2017 by
Sheryle Cruse
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