A Spirit of Gaman

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us,”

Hebrews 12:1

Gaman is a Japanese term of Zen origin which means "enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity". The term is generally translated as "perseverance" or "patience."

And, within Scripture, this principle is, indeed, a faith focal point.

“... we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience. And patience, experience; and experience, hope:”

Romans 5:3-4

“For ye have need of patience, that, after ye have done the will of God, ye might receive the promise.”

Hebrews 10:36

I don’t know about your physical education experience when you were a kid, but my class always participated in the annual presidential physical fitness test.

Is anyone out there groaning yet?

As part of that test to assess kids’ fitness levels, things like pushups, sit ups and pull ups were measured. But the thing which caused me the most dread- and the least success- was the 600 yard run.

Now, is anyone out there groaning?

If you’re not familiar with this test, let me break it down. It required some hyped up kids running around the football field twice to measure their personal stamina and speed. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? Perhaps, if you’re a long distance runner, you wouldn’t sweat the field one bit. But, for me, year after year, I feared it, anticipating the worst possible outcomes: face plants, side aches and of course, coming in last.

And, sure enough, each time I ran this race, clumsy me would surface as I endeavored to complete the run. I’d start out, running fast, with my blue Nikes pounding the grass. Sometimes, at the start of the race, I’d even think, “this isn’t so bad.”

But reality would show up soon enough.

Eventually, one by one, the other kids would pass me. “Everyone else” seemed to finish as a herd, in a timely fashion, while I was the one stray loser, stumbling to the finish line. And, as I crossed that finish line (if that’s what you want to call it), the other kids laughed at me.

It was further confirmation I was subpar. And it impacted my life, into adulthood.

 I repeatedly set myself up for failure. How? I required perfection of myself. Whether it was by procrastination, eating disorder behaviors or unrealistic expectations from ever- changing achievements, the core focus was still unrealistic and harmful perfection. It’s one I’m still working on to this day.

Indeed, part of my definition of perfection involved “getting it” quickly. I felt I never caught on to something “everyone else” seemed to automatically pick up with no problem.

How’s that for a tidy little lie?  Comparing ourselves against others is dangerous. We lose sight of ourselves.

Runners are often instructed not to look at their fellow competitors when they’re in the middle of a race. Why? Is it some savvy intimidation strategy? No. Simply put, it’s to keep the runner from getting distracted, so he/she won’t face plant into the ground because he/she isn’t paying attention to where he/she is going.

Lesson: run your own race.

“…let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us.”

Hebrews 12:1

Easier said than done? Yes. But is it achievable? Yes, it is.

It’s not because we’re perfect. It’s not even because we’re fast. Some of us pick up things at a slower pace.

But it’s about continuing the race, at whatever speed you and I find ourselves running-or walking-or crawling. It’s about the Gaman concept of two words, “keep going.”

“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.”

Ecclesiastes 9:11

There are times in our lives when it appears no movement is happening. No one is immune from these setbacks. Each of us is subject to “time and chance,” like Ecclesiastes tells us.

However, like Reverend Charles Spurgeon once stated, “By perseverance, the snail reached the ark.”

Do you feel like a snail, like you’re losing your own race? Where are you looking?

“Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil.”

Proverbs 4:26- 27

For every race you’ve participated in, football field or no football field, Elohim is running with you.

“For the eyes of the LORD run to and fro throughout the whole earth, to show himself strong in the behalf of them whose heart is perfect toward him...”

2 Chronicles 16:9

That includes the race of recovery. It is an ongoing marathon. Therefore, within that context, 2 Chronicles’ use of the word “perfect” doesn’t mean “perfect” at all; it means focused on our Divine Source.

That’s the real challenge, isn’t it? We’re called to persevere in our lives for the Most High, however imperfectly that may be.

 “…let us run with patience the race that is set before us.”

Hebrews 12:1

Indeed, we need look no further than to that of our own Messiah. His excruciating death exemplifies the endurance.

“... the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

Hebrews 12:2

Pain, trauma, recovery, self-improvement, goal setting and a healthy perspective and relationship with both ourselves and our God all require we run the race of perseverance. There are no shortcuts. But the rewards? They transcend the spiritual, touching our physical, emotional, mental and imperfect selves.

And they all contribute to our unique, personal and triumphant finish lines.

But we need to begin running our race. Movement starts within the spirit and spreads through our persevering feet.

The victorious race is meant for you; start running it now.

Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse

Body Programming: The Disturbing Onesie

Negative body image, via merchandise and marketing, strikes again.

The Wry Baby, an apparel company, has sparked controversy for selling onesies which read "I Hate My Thighs."

Cue toxic body image before females even get out of diapers!

I know, I know, the intent was not to hurt or offend; it’s about being funny, cute and whimsical.

What’s the harm, right?

·         50% of girls between the ages of 11 and 13 see themselves as overweight.

·         According to Time magazine, 80% of all children have been on a diet by the time they've reached fourth grade.

·         10% report onset at ten years or younger.

http://www.mirasol.net/eating-disorders/information/eating-disorder-statistics.php

“For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he...”

Proverbs 23:7

It is difficult enough being female in a world which is largely hostile to the gender. Cultural and image expectations enforce many a harmful, unrealistic and rejecting message. Unless and until a female embodies a thin, aesthetically appealing and societally acceptable standard, she is deemed ugly, worthless, undesirable and irrelevant.

I guess we need to start teaching females this lesson while they wear baby clothes.

This stuff makes my blood boil. Disordered eating and image issues abound and continue to cripple. We don’t need any more gasoline added to the fire.

 “...eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental disorder... there is a large variance in the reported number of deaths caused by eating disorders... because those who suffer from an eating disorder may ultimately die of heart failure, organ failure, malnutrition or suicide. Often, the medical complications of death are reported instead of the eating disorder that compromised a person’s health.

According to a study done by colleagues at the American Journal of Psychiatry (2009), crude mortality rates were:

• 4% for anorexia nervosa

• 3.9%  for bulimia nervosa

• 5.2% for eating disorder not otherwise specified

Crow, S.J., Peterson, C.B., Swanson, S.A., Raymond, N.C., Specker, S., Eckert, E.D., Mitchell, J.E. (2009) Increased mortality in bulimia nervosa and other eating disorders. American Journal of Psychiatry 166, 1342-1346

http://www.anad.org/get-information/about-eating-disorders/eating-disorders-statistics/

“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.”

Proverbs 4:23

Because of the controversy, Wry Baby did, in fact, remove the controversial onesie from its available apparel selection.

Problem solved? Not exactly.

For its replacement was a onesie which states, "Love for My Legrolls."

Wry Baby let shoppers vote on the item’s existence.

I’m not sure what is more troubling: the voting option the company gave to it consumers or the voters’ consensus on yet another negative body image message, focused on the female gender, in the name of cute and clever marketing.

We are all too quick to underestimate and dismiss very real danger concerning image messages. Yet, how often do these messages become entrenched in psyches, driving life-threatening mindsets and behaviors.

Disordered eating and image issues kill.

Again...

“...those who suffer from an eating disorder may ultimately die of heart failure, organ failure, malnutrition or suicide.”

If anyone printed a baby’s onesie which stated these realities on it, we wouldn’t think it was quite so adorable or clever, now would we?

Yet a road to deadly disorder starts somewhere.

We can argue about having no sense of humor; we can state how we shouldn’t take ourselves so seriously. It’s only an article of clothing.

Or is it... a stumbling block?

“Let us not therefore judge one another anymore: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.”

Romans 14:13

“…make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in the way of a brother or sister.”

Romans 14:13

“But take heed lest by any means this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to them that are weak.”

1 Corinthians 8:9

Can any one of us say, with one hundred percent certainty, such clothes as these- such messages as these- are completely harmless?

I didn’t think so.

Look, words are powerful; scripture confirms it.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”

Proverbs 18:21

Life confirms it.

And yes, sadly, death confirms it.

I understand the concepts of sales and marketing, of whimsy and of humor.

But this is not the appropriate context for that. A female’s body, of any age, type or size is not the avenue to express harmful messages.

 However, if we make it so, we are exalting this expression as more important than the reality and the power of God.

 “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”

2 Corinthians 10:5

And, of course, we exalt our harmful manmade form over our Divinely- created image.

 “And God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, after our likeness...’ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

Genesis 1:26-27

"I Hate My Thighs."

Last time I checked, I don’t think God created or expressed these sentiments.

So, come on, let’s view the quip for what it is: “...a stumbling block... to fall in his brother's way.”

And no one- certainly not babies- should ever wear that!

Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse

Using Our Recovery Feet

Over the years, I have learned about boundaries and the discernment needed in determining when to stay and when to go.

“And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.”

Matthew 10:14; Mark 6:11

These scriptures often deal with the spreading of the Gospel. And that is certainly the case. But I also see them applying to addiction/recovery matters as well.

1.      We admitted we were powerless over a substance or behavior ─ our lives had become unmanageable.

Step One challenges our “I have this under control” lie we often tell ourselves.

I have encountered this from close family members, most specifically, my mother.

I was rather late arriving to the therapy party when it came to addressing my disordered eating/image issues. I wasn’t in therapy as a skeletal anorexic, an impulsive bulimic or a ravenous overeater. No. It was a matter of “years later” when I finally decided I needed to face personal issues about myself. And I did it alone.

I did it alone because, when it came to dealing with those unpleasant and difficult issues, my family was unwilling to participate in unflattering truth’s revelation.

I first encountered this as an emaciated anorexic. My mother made daily threats about sending me to treatment.

Did you catch that?

“My mother made daily threats about sending me to treatment.”

Mom was insistent in telling me I was the problem who needed to get fixed, not anyone else.

Oh, really?

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Matthew 7:3-5

A morbidly obese woman, stress eating, glossing over intergenerational abuse, addiction, anger and depression tells me everything and everyone else is hunky dory. I’m the only problem disrupting life.

Was this her intentional message? No, probably not.

Nevertheless, the hypocritical and hurtful sentiment resulted, reinforcing my toxic mantra, “It’s all my fault.”

My mother, in opposition of step one, fully asserted she was powerful over her issues, managing her own life quite well, thank you very much.

Many years later, when I told her I entered therapy, her response remained unchanged. She insisted she didn’t need therapy like I did.

And even when my book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder” was published years ago, she wasn’t entirely thrilled about its reality.

Yes, to a certain degree, she was proud of the accomplishment.

But she was also nervous about its existence. She confessed to me that, before she got my book, she didn’t want her name mentioned; she didn’t want people to know who she was.

And, as I asked her about how she felt about her own struggles and unresolved issues, this was her response:

 “I’m dealing real good. We can’t live in the past.”

Okay...

Again, the conversation between the two of us hit an impasse. Mom was emphatic that, if she ever had a “weight problem,” everything was cured. Nothing more to discuss.

This wasn’t the first roadblock I’d run into concerning family, addiction and chaotic issues.

With the Twelve Steps, I encountered another obstacle concerning my “kin:” the spirituality issue.

Steps Two and Three, indeed, emphasize our mindset and connection to it.

2.      We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

Therefore, right away, we can bump into someone with a dramatically different perspective.

“... what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?”

2 Corinthians 6:14

Years ago, I was conversing with a family member who came from an atheistic point of view. We weren’t even discussing “spiritual” things. We were talking about current events. But, no matter what we talked about, he was convinced life was meaningless and had no Higher Power whatsoever.

His mind was made up. That was that.

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”

Amos 3:3

I gave him to The Most High. He could do a much better job reaching my relative than I could.

Amos 3:3, indeed, covers a lot of territory, permeating much of the Twelve Steps. Never underestimate the power of decision making and agreement.

Some people, unfortunately, never get there. Some people are slow to arrive at that place.

Regardless, the steps, including Steps Four through Ten, require the decision making and agreement with the Higher Power perspective.

4.      We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
7. We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
8. We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

But make no mistake, there is a vast difference between deciding/agreeing and attempting to achieve our representation of perfection. Elohim knows better than to expect the latter from us.

Nevertheless, there is the desire from The Most High that we will take responsibility for our actions and move toward health, not away from it.

Again, for me, a large challenge is the strong denial streak running throughout my family structure. There are active addicts and users. There are still lies covering decades of trauma.

There is still the mindset of, “Well, at least I’m not as bad as he/she is.”

Are you sure?

 “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.

Matthew 7:3-5

The question persists: why is one addiction better or worse than another?

The desire which lures us to that choice addiction object is what we need to address. The desire- or the lust- for the addiction is the heart condition, not necessarily the pursued addiction object.

Therefore, there’s no sliding scale of that addiction object at hand; for instance, alcoholism is not legitimately “worse” than food addiction. A shopping addiction is not “worse” than gambling. They are all equally serious and painful afflictions.

And those afflictions signify an often more entrenched family or generational pattern of addictive natures going undiagnosed, underdiagnosed, untreated-or mal-treated.

I have childhood memories of one family member’s repeated detox stints. I remember before we checked her into the treatment facility, I needed to find all bottles of mouthwash in her home and dump them out. This family member, when out of liquor, drank Scope and Listerine.

But this was no more of a painful circumstance than that of another relative’s battle with his substance abuse. In a severely altered state, this relative decided to go horseback riding at night and was almost run over by yet another family member’s car.

Yet no one discussed any of these realities. It was the understood, silent agreement of “If we don’t talk about it, we won’t have to deal with it.”

When that is the consensus, there is little that can be done. And that further hinders us in Step Eleven...

We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

Of course, if the mentality is silence when addressing fellow human beings, how could there ever even exist an openness to The Most High to acknowledge, deal with and change behavior? Mediation, prayer, deep self-reflection?

Repeatedly, within my family experience, it appeared no one was doing any such thing.

But that did not impede the fact family regularly attended church and held leadership positions.

It was maddening to behold. Scripture stating “a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof” (2 Timothy 3:5) was never far from my thoughts as I heard about a relative’s “Christian” Sunday behavior, followed by their monstrous addictive actions destroying Monday through Saturday.

And again, no one talked about this.

The subject matter I initially brought up in “Thin Enough” seemed to startle a number of my family members. One relative even secretly mentioned how glad she was I revealed the addictive and abusive dynamics which had existed for decades.

Still, this family member did not openly support me and the recovery message I was coming from in the presence of other members. When it came to facing the family “at large,” I was still very much by myself.

Much of that, I believe, had to do with the fact that the recovery message I was coming from could only coexist with the acknowledgment of truth, even if it was ugly truth.

I have family in various stages of addiction and recovery. Some are acquainted with the Twelve Steps. I have no idea, though, to what degree they have embraced and applied those steps. That is individual choice.

But, based upon my personal experience with familial interaction, one of accusation, hostility and name calling, I can only conclude the majority of them are not ready to face or live those tenets, especially that of Step Twelve:

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

It is a challenge to me to realize and maneuver around one lonely truth, especially concerning fragile recovery: not everyone is on the same page- or even in the same book.

“I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.”

John 16:12

I, therefore, must navigate this imperfect terrain fully recognizing I will have to limit my interaction- and my expectations of- my family. If I want to be in a safe space of health and support, sadly, right now, it does not exist within my family.

I have not achieved any perfection in recovery myself. Flaws are as much a part of the recovery process as great strides are.

Still, I come to recognize the power of my own literal- and symbolic- feet.

“And whosoever shall not receive you, nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city, shake off the dust of your feet.”

Matthew 10:14; Mark 6:11

I have the power, the right and the inherent human worth to go elsewhere, to go to greater places of healing and health.

So, sometimes, the dust must be shaken.

Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse

The Spiritual Power In Discovering Your Audience

Coming from a theatre background, I’m no stranger to an audience.

“All the world's a stage... And one man in his time plays many parts...”

In William Shakespeare's play, “As You Like It,” Act II Scene VII, purpose-filled life is compared to that of a theatre stage.

How much more does that apply for those of us recovering from addiction, disorder or abuse?

Besides my theatre background, I also have an eating disorder history as well. In college, I battled both anorexia and bulimia.

Indeed, during my sophomore year, desperate in my bulimic behavior, I began to dumpster dive...

“... I’d try to play it off, pretending everything was normal as people passed by me scrounging in the dumpster... in broad daylight... I couldn’t hide any longer from others what I was doing... people were noticing...” *

 *Excerpt from Sheryle Cruse’s book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder”

This was an unwelcomed audience for me.

Nevertheless, people saw. And, no matter how I tried, I could not escape the Presence of the Most High.

For a long time, I fought Him.

Yet, after college, I hit a faith crisis. I wrestled with Elohim and He revealed I had to face my eating disorder reality.

 “... in the midst of all of this disorder, anger, guilt, shame, ugliness and desperation, I found myself tired and wanting Him more than anything I’d ever wanted before...

... I had to make a decision... I decided ‘Fine God, if others know about this, fine. I’m tired.’

...As I was lying in bed, the picture of... Jairus’ daughter flashed... I remembered…

            ‘Little girl, I say unto you, arise...’ *

I needed to deal with my heart issues.

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs 4:23

Still, it didn’t change daunting reality. The heart is tricky, even for the best of us.

               “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

Jeremiah 17:9

So, how is it even possible to deal with our issues?

I believe it begins when we allow a Divine search warrant to take place.

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
         Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
         And lead me in the everlasting way.”

Psalms 139:23-24

Jairus’ daughter (Mark 5:35-43) was that search warrant, in not just my eating disorder reality, but concerning my life as a whole.

It led me to my imperfect faith; it exposed me as vulnerable. I needed help beyond my own efforts to make anything happen.

“... I found a Scripture that summed up who I was and what I was going through.

“...I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"”

Mark 9:24

That was me! I knew I couldn’t be enough, love enough, believe enough, and have faith enough unless God helped me...”*

           

At first, this realization felt paralyzing. And then, there was peace. I had to surrender; the Most High God is in control and I was not.

“…I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, 'My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.' From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do.”

Isaiah 46:9-11

Before the faith-changing revelation of Jairus’ daughter and Mark 9:24, I believed no good could come from my eating disorder reality. I hid, lied and ran away from it. I believed facing it, owning it and then sharing it with others was the worst-case scenario.

Yet, only when I reluctantly uttered, ‘Fine God, if others know about this, fine,’ did I cross from oppression to freedom...from wounding to healing.

“‘Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’.”

John 8:32

It’s been years since my book was published. And, as I have faced and shared my once taboo eating disorder history, Elohim has helped me to experience greater healing. I have discovered commonality. It shattered the lie: I was not alone.

And neither are you.

No matter the trauma, addiction, pain or circumstance, there is a glory to come from it. You may be mired in a deep pit right now. This, however, is not the end of you.

Instead, “The Great I AM” has you positioned at a new place of blessings.

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:19

And that includes the audience you are meant to inspire and help.

“All the world's a stage...”

So what are you to do with yours?

The Creator of all has astounding things ahead for your life.

“... Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have...”

1 Peter 3:15

Will you take the stage?

Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse

You CAN Glow Differently; You're Worth It!

Dismal...

Go Get 'Em, Tiger!

Fight the Cold With More Cold

Stand There in Your Wrongness...

Why I Can't Be Around 'Em...

Invalidation IS Abuse!

Fruit of the Other Spirit

Let’s face it- fruit has been a tricky thing from the beginning.

Certainly, any of us who battle with addiction, compulsion or disorder know the power of its lure.

“...‘the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die.’”

Genesis 2:16-17?

It goes downhill from there. Check out Genesis 3:1-24; here are a couple of fun highlights...

 “‘Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field.’”

Genesis 3:18

“So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.”

Genesis 3:24

But we still cannot escape fruit, especially, “fruit of the spirit.”

 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

Galatians 5:22-23

Human beings seem to fail miserably and often at this principle. Instead of practicing Galatians 5:22-23, perhaps, one can propose we come up with our own version instead.

“But the fruit of the OTHER Spirit is hate, despair, unease, impatience, cruelty, evil intent, fear and thoughtless destruction, concerning these there is only law.”

Now we have a problem.

Other Fruit of the Spirit Stuff

I’ve given some thought to this situation, especially concerning recovery issues.

Indeed, our own finite beliefs/pursuits often fly in the face of the original spiritual fruit, distorting and causing harm.

Hosea best states, “My people perish for a lack of knowledge” (Hosea 4:6).

And that’s part of the problem: we don’t know we’re doing this.

And then “suddenly,” this fruit, in the vehicle of our addictions and disordered behaviors, leaves tremendous wreckage.

So, it could be worth our while to examine just what this “other fruit” is, where it comes from and how to apply the “original recipe” of the fruit of the Spirit to it.

Other Fruit of the Spirit: Hate

We’re off to a rough start already, aren’t we?

But we do ourselves a great disservice to avoid this first attribute, as it challenges the start of the “spiritual fruit” list.

Hate often gets pain and dysfunction going like nothing else.

It often comes from a place of being hurt. And there’s no such thing as a human being who lives unscathed by pain.

 “...a wounded spirit who can bear?”

Proverbs 18:14

And so, our frequent response to that suffering can be the outward expression of hate.

If we’ve felt unloved, rejected and abused, we go on the offensive, raging with deep self-loathing, while simultaneously attempting to self-medicate our injuries with addictive substances or behaviors. We act out because we feel hopeless to be loveable or valuable in any real way.

We have unmet need; we ARE unmet need. And it never seems to get sated.

In response to my own self-loathing and disordered issues, I’ve searched the scriptures to locate those things which Elohim actually does hate.

 And here’s newsflash number one: our Creator doesn’t hate a human being.

Rather, there are certain behaviors He detests instead...

“These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto Him: A Proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood. A heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, a false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.”

Proverbs 6:16-19

The Most High hates the disruptive, harmful behavior we choose to engage in.

“Hatred stirreth up strifes....”

Proverbs 10:12

But, unfortunately, hate can all too easily become addictive for us addicts.

We pursue it largely because, on some level, we believe it to be the panacea to our pain. We believe the serpents lie, “You shall surely not die.”

And, usually, we completely block out or actively rebel against a significant, humbling truth, even regarding such a “formidable force” as us: the power of Divine love. Our counterfeit fruit is confronted.

 “Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.”

Proverbs 10:12

Divine Fruit: Love

“...‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.’”

Jeremiah 31:3

 This love often comes to challenge our new love, our addiction.

We feel much more comfortable with hate, Hate doesn’t ask us to change; hate asks that we keep hating- and using that in our addiction.

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part. But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away. When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known. And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.

1 Corinthians 13:4-13

Hate certainly doesn’t ask us to love ourselves.

“Love your neighbor as yourself…”

Leviticus 19:18; Mark 12:31

And there lies a gigantic roadblock: our self-loathing.

This reality, therefore, often produces a sense of despair, being ill-at-ease.

Other Fruit of the Spirit: Despair

“My bowels, my bowels! I am pained at my very heart; my heart maketh a noise in me; I cannot hold my peace, because thou hast heard, O my soul, the sound of the trumpet, the alarm of war.”

Jeremiah 4:19

When we are either ignorant or rejecting of unconditional love, individually, personally, applicable to each of us, this anxious mindset can settle in our spirits.

Again, going back to Genesis and our old familiar serpent, never underestimate the power of doubt...

“Now the serpent was more subtle than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, ‘Yea, hath God said, ‘Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?’”

Genesis 3:1

Uh- oh...

Doubt, a disturbance of the peace, a question mark...

And then, an outright lie, followed by a justifying explanation...

^“And the serpent said unto the woman, ‘Ye shall not surely die. For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.’”

Genesis 3:4-5

We’re at a crossroads. Which argument do we believe?

Well, we know the Genesis answer to that question, don’t we?

“And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.”

Verse Six

Yeah.

And, after a ridiculous hide and seek game (Genesis 3:7-10), their Creator confronts them both on the choice to disbelieve Him...

^“...‘Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?’”

Genesis 3:11

What next follows is a cute little blame game (Genesis 3:12-13).

(So much for taking responsibility for one’s actions).

Anyway, what ultimately results is consequence, fully detailed in Genesis 3:14-19.

It’s not uplifting.

What especially drew my attention was verse seventeen...

“‘...in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life.’”

Genesis 3:17

It’s not just about the negative results from breaking the rules; it goes deeper.

Sorrow, emanating from doubt, has tentacles which can wrap around our lives and, in the process, steal our joy and peace. Those may not appear like big things at face value.

But when they are gone, they are mostly certainly missed.

Divine Fruit: Joy

But there is hope for us, even in spite of our doubt and sorrow...

“And ye now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you.”

John 16:22

Joy is tailor-made for us. The question, however, remains: will we accept and apply it to our lives?

“Hitherto have ye asked nothing in my name: ask, and ye shall receive, that your joy may be full.”
John 16:24

Our answer to that question is our fruit. What will it be?

Yet, often times, our fruit answer involves further unsettling anxiety- and it’s not because of Divine will.

“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace...”

1 Corinthians 14:33

Rather, it’s because we have trouble with the waiting process...

Other Fruit of the Spirit: Impatience

Impatience creates damaging outcomes because we are rash, thoughtless, selfish, fearful and ignorant of our actions. We are in a fleeting, temporary moment, not considering future consequences.

And, because of that state, we often tend to scrap long-term goals in favor of short-term, instantaneous gratification.

“He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”

Proverbs 25:28

That is a gigantic component to addiction’s payoff: “getting our fix.”

Yet, that fix, no matter how good in feels in the here and now, ultimately, has its negative consequences...

“...like a city that is broken down, and without walls.”

Proverbs 25:28

Okay, let’s just get right to the fruity point of things: patience is not easy.

It requires we say no to ourselves, even, in some cases, our perceived “needs.”

Patience involves suffering, discomfort and pain.

Divine Fruit: Patience

Scripture, however, does convey the merit in practicing the principle...

“In your patience possess ye your souls.”

Luke 21:19

 “For whatsoever things were written aforetime were written for our learning, that we through patience and comfort of the scriptures might have hope.”

Romans 15:4

So, “patience and comfort of the scriptures” produces hope? Reward enough for our human condition?

C’mon, you and I know it’s just not that simple...or gratifying.

Often, we cannot outlast the suffering in the waiting; we cave in the midst of delayed gratification. Our addiction fills our mind and eye space until it’s all we can see, feel, think and prioritize.

And this can, sometimes lead us to yet another unsavory “other fruit...”

Other Fruit of the Spirit: Cruelty

In our frustration, experiencing life’s imperfection, we can often become ruthless. All that matters is our addiction. All that must exist and remain is our addiction.

“Their feet run to evil, and they are swift to shed innocent blood; their thoughts are thoughts of iniquity; desolation and destruction are in their highways.”

Isaiah 59:7

 “Thou shalt not kill.”

Deuteronomy 5:17

And here’s where a slippery slope lies; we will do anything and everything for it. We will lie, steal, cheat, kill, hurt and destroy. That is our response when anything or anyone dares to challenge our pursuit, practice or possession of our addiction.

This is where loved ones are sacrificed on its altar. Marriages, families, careers, health, dignity, finances and free criminal histories are just a few offerings given.

Divine Fruit: Gentleness

Yet Elohim doesn’t demand this violent expression in His love; there is gentleness instead.

“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:29-30

However, many of us have not had gentle experiences. Abuse, neglect and dysfunction have, perhaps, made us grow accustomed to chaos, danger and cruelty.

Therefore, in our frustration and pain, we can find ourselves resorting to abrupt, reactionary responses which attempt to meet our needs by force.

But love’s gentleness does not force its agenda; rather, it allows for Divine Creation’s to respond accordingly...

 “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful.”

1 Corinthians 13:4-5

There is gentleness at the cornerstone of love. That is the standard we are to execute. And yes, sadly, we fall woefully short in doing so.

“For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;”

Romans 3:23

Other Fruit of the Spirit: Evil intent

Furthermore, if we refuse love’s gentleness from the Most High, if we insist on following cruelty’s path, it’s not long before its twin fruit, evil intent, joins the madness.

“‘And let none of you imagine evil in your hearts against his neighbor; and love no false oath: for all these are things that I hate,’ saith the LORD.”

Zechariah 8:17

Lines blur of where cruelty ends and this evil intent fruit begins. Often, for the entrenched addict, the only line of thinking is Machiavellian: “the ends justifies the means.”

So, bring on whatever means to achieve the all-important fix’s end.

And before we underestimate the consequences of our actions, let’s just take a look at how the Most High feels about our insatiable attitude...

 “The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. And the Lord was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. So the Lord said, “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, man and animals and creeping things and birds of the heavens, for I am sorry that I have made them.”

Genesis 6:5-7

Yeah, but that was a long time ago. We’re past that point, right? Right?

Even though these sentiments existed in the ancient book of Genesis, it still doesn’t change how Elohim is grieved by our treachery. And ignorance only goes so far in excusing us. The damage still happens, whether or not we realize it.

Yet, there is still hope, should we choose to embrace it.

“I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.”

Psalms 27:13

Divine Fruit: Goodness

Psalms 23:6 is the great equalizer, displaying the pervasiveness of this fruit of the Spirit.

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.”

 It’s not dependent upon us. If Divine goodness hinged upon our merit, it’d be hopeless for everyone concerned.

After all...

“As it is written, ‘There is none righteous, no, not one. There is none that understandeth, there is none that seeketh after God. They are all gone out of the way, they are together become unprofitable; there is none that doeth good, no, not one.’”

Romans 3:10-12

“...They are corrupt, their deeds are vile; there is no one who does good.”

Psalm 14:1

So...yeah... not optimistic here.

Yet, The Most High is good, even while simultaneously being realistic about our human nature.

Explanation? Divine Goodness trumps what should only be condemned.

 “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.”

James 1:17

Exhibit A: the Savior...

“For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.”

John 3:17

Ideally, this should provide irrefutable evidence to be appreciative, loving human beings who respond correctly.

But, come on. We know the reality.

“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”

Jeremiah 17:9

Part of the human experience involves the heart, prone to wickedness. And often, it’s driven by fear.

Other Fruit of the Spirit: Fear

For the addict especially, fear is primal.

“Men's hearts failing them for fear, and for looking after those things which are coming on the earth: for the powers of heaven shall be shaken.”

Luke 21:26

We’re afraid of not being able to obliterate our pain.

We’re afraid of not being able to escape.

We’re afraid of discomfort.

We’re afraid of reality.

We’re afraid of seeing who we really are and what we have really done with- and to- ourselves.

“The fear of man bringeth a snare: but whoso putteth his trust in the LORD shall be safe.”

Proverbs 29:25

And so, eventually, our fear creates a snare and a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Like Job once stated: “What I fear has come upon me” (Job 3:25).

Adding more complication, we fear letting go of our idol, the one thing we can count on in our lives to soothe, embolden and keep us functioning.

Where would we be if we dare let that thing go?

Our fear of the answer- while refusing to never face the answer- runs the show.

And here is where we are confronted with the exact nature of fear: our very real enemy.

“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.”

1 Peter 5:8

 “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy...”
John 10:10

And, with this enemy, two things are glaringly missing: love and faith...

“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us.”

1 John 4:18-19

 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

2 Timothy 1:7

Divine Fruit: Faith

We can easily answer the question, what is the opposite of hate? Love.

But what about the question, what is the opposite of fear? Its answer is Faith.

And we do possess faith.

"For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you."

Romans 12:3

 “Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.”

Ephesians 6:16

Faith is not passive. First, it emanates from Elohim’s love.

“We love him, because he first loved us.”

1 John 4:19

Next, this faith-filled love is empowering.

“... I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”
John 10:10

But, are we taught that? Are we taught fear or positive faith?

What we learn and how we’re taught can often translate into our responses to life issues, including faith and recovery matters. Ignorance, entrenched beliefs and harmful traditions all play a role in our own response, displayed in the last fruit.

Fruit of the Other Spirit: Reckless Destruction

 “For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice: but what I hate, that I do.”

Romans 7:15

When we run low on things like love, positive faith, patience and goodness, recklessness often occurs.

“What’s the point?”

We ask ourselves the question, convinced we no longer care about our lives. We may even run full-throttle with our death wishes. We start to take greater chances with our families, our careers and anything else which many seem “precious” to us.

“Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.”

Proverbs 29:18

Yet, our spirits don’t say “die” easily; the will to live is strong.

And so, we face a dilemma: confusion in our reckless state, emanating from the opposing side...

“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy...”
John 10:10

And before we run amuck with the reliable excuse of “the devil made me do it,” we do need to acknowledge that our addictions are a spiritual battle, one which often has us choose our ignorance and faulty belief systems over higher, healthier choices. We don’t have a clue just how damaging this can be.

After all, why, in the middle of being nailed to a cross, humiliated and tortured, did our Savior utter this plea?

 “...‘Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.’”

Luke 23:34

We don’t know what we’re doing.

Therefore, in that frightening uncertainty, we act out. There’s pain and fear in our reckless actions; there’s desperation, hatred, resentment and vengeance also.

It’s an attempt to gain some kind of rescue. Suicide, for instance, is often couched in the phrase, “a cry for help.”

 “...‘Lord, help me.’”

Matthew 15:25

But, we often focus on the “things” to make and keep us safe. And sometimes, that even includes destruction and chaos. We may view it as “power” instead of something harmful; we believe we’re finally taking control.

However, often, nothing could be further from the truth.

Therefore, we are in dire need of the next fruit of Elohim’s Spirit...

“...Meekness, temperance...”

Galatians 5:23

Divine Fruit: Self-control

This last fruit speaks to both our willingness and our capability. Whether or not we feel it, we do have the capacity for self-control. I’m not talking about going against the Twelve Steps here. Yes, we are powerless, in our addiction, in and of ourselves. But, with The Most High, “all things are possible” (Matthew 19:26). This, therefore, refers to the attitude which cooperates with the decision to “make another choice,” one which is spirit led.

“Let all things be done decently and in order.”

1 Corinthians 14:40

I know. It’s easier said than practiced.

Nevertheless, we are called to implement the principle. Each of us is given lessons in controlling our tempers, our appetites and our feelings.

And this is at the epicenter of addiction. To challenge the notion that yes, we can choose something else besides addiction is a scary thought.

“You don’t know what kind of day I’ve had.”

 “You don’t know how hard it is to stay sober.”

Valid perspectives. Self-control never tells us it will be easy and painless.

And this is where taking care of ourselves comes into play; it’s a necessary element to self-control.

The Stewardship Principle

Stewardship is all over the Twelve Steps.

You can call it accountability or taking responsibility.

But, it still resonates with the same conclusion: we need to do things differently. Our way is not working. Hence, the wakeup call to try something else.

And, that “something else” involves the loving self-care.

“This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.”

John 15:12

Before we eye roll at the cliché love answer, let’s take a look at exactly what that love could mean for us. Self-control and stewardship are rooted in the attribute.

If we revisit John 15:12, we are asked a question: do we love- or hate- ourselves?

"‘ ...love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.’”

Leviticus 19:18

Yes, the potential for cliché is here; we are filled with self-loathing. That’s why we engage in our addiction.

But it is cliché for a reason; there is truth there.

Again, loving self-care and refusal to choose self-destruction are crucial to self-control.

“For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church. Because we are members of his body.”

Ephesians 5:29-30

We have to ask ourselves if what we are doing is best for our lives.

“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.”

1 Corinthians 10:23

For many of us, this is a revolutionary concept.

And self-control asks us to lovingly choose to embrace order instead of chaos, health instead of demanding craving, the reality of God’s love, extending to us instead of our self-focused hatred.

“We love him, because he first loved us.”

1 John 4:19

We are encouraged to see ourselves as possessing a valuable ripple effect, either positive or negative.

And, since we are made in the Most High’s Image (Genesis 1:26-27), this resemblance showcases a Divine, real and orderly purpose to all things...

“Let all things be done decently and in order.”

1 Corinthians 14:40

Our cooperation with self-control embodies good stewardship: of our lives, our health, other people and our relationship with the Most High God.

None of these things are trivial. All of it propels us to profitable foundation.

And, this last attribute underscores the effectiveness of all the other fruits as well.

Love takes self-control...

Joy takes self-control...

Peace takes self-control...

Longsuffering (Patience) takes self-control...

Gentleness takes self-control...

Goodness takes self-control...

Faith takes self-control...

Meekness and temperance take self-control...

Couldn’t it be argued this is the essence of 3 John 1:2?

“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”

And it, perhaps, changes the Genesis scripture “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28) a bit, doesn’t it?

What if, concerning that famous scripture, we make a shift in our thinking, from reproducing the species to reproducing the Divine fruit of the Spirit?

What if we were to ask for only this fruit, saying no to and silencing the other fruit’s impact in our lives?

What if?

The challenge lies within each of us. Do we choose life more abundant (John 10:10) or the box, labeled “other?”

It is one or the other; results depend on the box we check.

Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse