"Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an
adversarial relationship to myself."
Nathaniel Brand
Nathaniel Brand
“I’m my own worst
enemy.”
Isn’t that how the saying goes?
Yet, for a lot of us, perhaps, there’s a more accurate
phrase by which we live:
“I’m my own best enemy.”
We get a payoff for self-loathing, judging and berating
ourselves.
“But mine enemies are lively, and they
are strong: and they that hate me wrongfully are multiplied.”
Psalms 38:19
It can give us a license to continue our self-destructive
ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’re so awful, so unworthy, so ugly, so unlovable.
Therefore no one, not others, not God and not ourselves should require anything
more of us, right?
Wrong.
But we love to revel in being wrong.
And, come on, it takes far less hard work to hate than love, to reject than accept, to destroy
rather than to build.
So, we often take this path of least resistance. We create
and nurture our own best enemies, be they addictive behaviors, disorders or
unhealthy choices.
However, it’s not hopeless.
After all, we have God- and His perspective on enemies:
“Ye
have heard that it hath been said, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate
thine enemy.’ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you,
and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is in
heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth
rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what
reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your
brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye
therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect.”
Matthew 5:43-48
“But I say unto you which hear, Love
your enemies, do good to them which hate you, Bless them that curse you, and
pray for them which despitefully use you. And unto him that smiteth thee on the
one cheek offer also the other; and him that taketh away thy cloak forbid not
to take thy coat also. Give to every man that asketh of thee; and of him that
taketh away thy goods ask them not again. And as ye would that men should do to
you, do ye also to them likewise. For if ye love them which love you, what
thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them. And if ye do good to
them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the
same. And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for
sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again. But love ye your
enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall
be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the
unthankful and to the evil. Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is
merciful.”
Luke 6:27-36
I know, I know. It’s a tall order. I guess these scriptures
fall under the heading of Isaiah 55…
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways my ways, says the Lord.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your
ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
His thoughts, our thoughts. But here’s the things about
God’s thoughts: there’s nothing enemy about ‘em…
“For I know the thoughts that I think
toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a
future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11
So, nine times out of ten, if there is an enemy in our midst, it’s coming from us. We are our own
worst/best enemy.
And again, that would be completely hopeless, were it not
for one thing: God (Thank God)!
And His different perspective on the enemy issue. God
doesn’t seemed to be intimidated by it at all.
He appears to have a plan, even while our enemies, outside
ones or self-inflicted, are creating havoc in our lives.
“Thou preparest a table before me in
the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth
over.”
Psalms 23:5
In fact, there’s even some built-in reconciliation going on
there, in spite of us…
“For if, when we were enemies, we were
reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we
shall be saved by his life.”
Romans 5:10
With that being said,
however, there’s still some work which needs to be done on our part; we’re
responsible for our thoughts and their impact on us:
“For
as he thinketh in his heart, so is he...”
Proverbs
23:7
“Death
and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the
fruit thereof.”
Proverbs
18:21
It’s not entirely up to us; after all, there’s God. But we
DO need to accept responsibility for our part in the behaviors.
We need to get honest with the unflattering reality.
And then, it’s up to us to choose what we’ll do from then on…
“I call heaven and earth to record this
day against you, that I have
set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life,
that both thou and thy seed may live.”
Deuteronomy 30:19
“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things
are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever
things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good
report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these
things.”
Philippians 4:8
And so, once again, concerning our self-destructive thoughts
and behaviors, be
they addictions, disorders or compulsions, we can purposely
concentrate on viewing ourselves differently. We can choose NOT to be our own
worst/best enemy.
As one recovered from disordered eating, these affirmations
are just a sampling of positive affirmations.
Body Image Links
20 WAYS TO LOVE YOUR BODY!!
Compiled by Margo Maine, Ph. D.
Compiled by Margo Maine, Ph. D.
- Think of your body as the vehicle to your dreams. Honor it. Respect it. Fuel it.
- Create a list of all the things your body lets you do. Read it and add to it often.
- Become aware of what your body can do each day. Remember it is the instrument of your life, not just an ornament.
- Create a list of people you admire: people who have contributed to your life, your community, or the world. Consider whether their appearance was important to their success and accomplishments.
- Walk with your head held high, supported by pride and confidence in yourself as a person.
- Don't let your weight or shape keep you from activities that you enjoy.
- Wear comfortable clothes that you like and that feel good to your body.
- Count your blessings, not your blemishes.
- Think about all the things you could accomplish with the time and energy you currently spend worrying about your body and appearance. Try one!
- Be your body's friend and supporter, not its enemy.
- Consider this: your skin replaces itself once a month, your stomach lining every five days, your liver every six weeks, and your skeleton every three months. Your body is extraordinary--begin to respect and appreciate it.
- Every morning when you wake up, thank your body for resting and rejuvenating itself so you can enjoy the day.
- Every evening when you go to bed, tell your body how much you appreciate what it has allowed you to do throughout the day.
- Find a method of exercise that you enjoy and do it regularly. Don't exercise to lose weight or to fight your body. Do it to make your body healthy and strong and because it makes you feel good.
- Think back to a time in your life when you felt good about your body. Tell yourself you can feel like that again, even in this body at this age.
- Keep a list of 10 positive things about yourself--without mentioning your appearance. Add to it!
- Put a sign on each of your mirrors saying, "I'm beautiful inside and out."
- Choose to find the beauty in the world and in yourself.
- Start saying to yourself, "Life is too short to waste my time hating my body this way."
- Eat when you are hungry. Rest when you are tired. Surround yourself with people that remind you of your inner strength and beauty.
Reprinted
with permission from the National Eating Disorders Association. For more
information: www.NationalEatingDisorders.org.
Scripture gets right to the point…
“What shall we then say to these
things? If God be for us, who can be against us?”
Romans 8:31
God’s not our enemy. But if WE are our own notorious
adversary, what are WE going to do about that?
Copyright
© 2019 by Sheryle Cruse
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