“I’m so happy you’re not ugly."

Allow me, if you would, to rail on the toxic image pressures of the common fairytale.

I’m not going to draw a connection between the fairytale image and the overwhelming occurrence of eating disorders in females. But maybe I should. Maybe, just maybe, there is a connection there.

I came across a humorous pop culture meme from one of the most famous, “Beauty and the Beast.” It was our beast, transformed into the handsome prince gazing at Belle, our beautiful ingénue, with the caption, “Thank God. I’m so happy you’re not ugly.”

Yes, there was a pointed humor, ringing true. However exaggerated it may be, we do, in fact, often echo this sentiment when it comes to a female’s value. It is implied for most, if not all, “happily ever after” princesses. And it’s specifically tied to her beauty.

In many fairytales, we’re presented with the evil and ugly villains of stepsisters, stepmothers and witches, all contrasting, of course, to that of our beautiful, virtuous “good” heroine princess.

So, good equals beauty princess; bad equals ugly crone? Yikes.

Indeed, when it comes to our measurement of aesthetically pleasing standards, there isn’t a great deal of variety in the princess beauty spectrum. It is largely about the ideal ingénue, preferably blonde and white, with the facial features and bodies of shapely, yet dainty, teenagers.

And yes, perhaps we may have gotten more diversity in recent years: Ariel was a redheaded mermaid, Belle was a brunette, Mulan was Asian, Pocahontas was Native American, Tiana was African- American and Jasmine was Middle Eastern. Disney, for what it’s worth, attempted, however unsuccessfully, to display “authentic” ethnic characteristics. Years ago, I remember a lot of hubbub about Jasmine’s “big nose” and the pronounced cheekbones of Pocahontas. There were arguments as to whether or not their features would be viewed as pleasing enough.

Still, when it comes to each of these princesses, there’s not one without a tiny waist, accentuated curves and- well, let’s just call it out- impressive décolletage. C’mon, really? That’s the deal?

Anyway, these image depictions ask some questions. Was our female character’s incredible beauty brought about by her innate goodness? Was she outwardly beautiful only because her inner beauty, usually pleasing to males somehow, radiated from within, hence, activating those exterior features?

Isn’t that the lie? Inner beauty, translation, inherent value, is only accomplished through the manifestation of a certain look.

It would seem so. After all, we place so much emphasis on the outward appearance, to the exclusion, or secondary importance of “inner beauty” qualities, like kindness, personality, intellect, creativity and a sense of humor.

And so, we’re left believing, following, saying or requiring the following sentiment in life:

“Thank God. I’m so happy you’re not ugly.”

Scripture, however, does not concur with that value system. First, God doesn’t make ugly. Trot over to Genesis for proof:

 ^“Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,^[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them…

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.”

Genesis 1:26-27; 31

Next, God calls us beautiful, valuable, precious and wonderful…

“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”

Isaiah 43:4

“I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made…”

Psalm 139:14

“O my dove…let me see your form…for your form is lovely.”

Song of Solomon 2:14

Yet even with all of that goodness, beauty, value and worth, God still checks our hearts.

“But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.”

1 Samuel 16:7

That’s where the important and identifying things reside- that infamous heart! What would happen if we paid more attention to it?

How beautiful could THAT be?

Disordered image has far more to do with outward appearances. It’s the message we internalize, amplify and accept as all-important Gospel. It’s the price we attach and expect from our young people, mainly, our young females. I see it in the multitudes of little girls who prize pretty over smart, thin over fat, extreme beauty tactic over health. Those imprints can follow a female, lifelong into her adolescence and adulthood. Honestly, how many females in our society are 100% content with their appearance, including their body size?

Exactly.

That’s the problem I have with this fairytale value estimation. It prizes beauty- a narrow definition at that – as prized above all else in a female’s life. It discourages one’s own self-acceptance and discovery. Instead, we’re reduced to this statement…

“Thank God. I’m so happy you’re not ugly.”

No, that’s not a fairytale ending- and yes, it IS quite ugly!

Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse