I Am Two

Today I turn two.

I recognize the two- year anniversary of my bilateral mastectomy.

Two years ago, somewhere between the time period of 11:30 a.m. and 3:30 p.m. both of my breasts were removed. And, since that Wednesday, my life has been different. It’s not exactly a news flash. Hello, brush with possible death. Hello, an altered body. Hello, a shift in learning and accepting who I am now.

None of this is news flash material; all of it, however, is personal and significant. These past two years have altered many a personal world view.

I never dreamed I’d be here. But here I am.

So, like the anniversary of my Breast cancer diagnosis, today, I mark time.

Today, I am two.

Two years of this new body, this new mind, this new woman.

At the time of my chronological birth, my mother bought me a birthday angel, which plays “Happy Birthday.” This brunette angel, with her dated, bouffant hairdo, has been a staple as I rack up each year. And now, I employ her to also celebrate this updated birthday of mine.

Last year, I was more intensely recovering, physically. Now, this year, this “birthday,” while yes, my body and life are still changing and healing, I’ve become more comfortable in my own breast-less skin. Time heals, especially as one processes and deals with one’s life. I can confidently say that is me now. Not a perfect completion of it, but rather, an ongoing, flawed process.

And, in it, for the first time, I’m finally meeting myself.

Really? Did it REALLY take losing my breasts to find myself?

Perhaps, yes. I’m still excavating answers.

But, really, that’s not too shabby for a two-year-old, now is it?

Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse