Heart…Head…Gut

Years ago, I bought a charm. It was a rose gold figure, kneeling, with a heart for a head and a smiling face on the left side of the chest where the heart normally would be. It intrigued me.

We hear, all of the time, about the heart and the head. 

“Follow your heart.”

“Don’t follow your heart.”

“Keep your head on straight.”

“Use your head.”

You get the idea.

However, the heart and the head can often get us into trouble.

Why is that? Too much blood flow to those parts? Not enough blood flow? Are the body parts too large? Are they too heavy for us to execute good judgment?  Or, are they not large enough, like some tiny bird brain that can only think as far as the next feeding opportunity?

In recent years, the explanation that has popped up has been that both the head and the heart are problematic because they tell stories. Talking us out of our better judgment because the fiction sounds so much better, much more comforting than…logic. Safety. Well-being. You know, those things are a drag compared to the bright, shiny objects of stories, magical thinking, excuses, lies and fairytales. We are Magpies who just cannot help ourselves. We are drawn to the shiny. And we, therefore, set ourselves up for hurt, pain and destruction.

Let’s be real. Most of us are not great at the practice of moderation. In fact, we suck at it. And this is especially the case when it comes to the heart. In place of noble moderation, often times, we have gigantic helium, heart-shaped balloons for heads, carrying us from day to day, decision to decision. It seems ridiculous. Who could possibly live like that?

Well…

And, the actual head is no different in its absurdity. Looking at the charm figure, with its supposed smiley face on the left side of the chest, where the heart should be, we see, in fact, that the “head” is not even an entire head! Maybe it’s an enlightened Buddha face; maybe it’s just a grinning every man. Regardless, it’s a face, with only one expression, a smile, on it!

To me, that’s quite fitting. How many of us are walking through our lives with that fake smile beaming out to the world?

I’m not anti-smile. I’m anti-one-dimensional expression. We are more than smiling creatures. And those other facets are often much more interesting and, often times, more helpful to us than this chosen default setting facial expression.

Regardless, we often mix up the head and the heart. We think when we should feel and we feel when we should think. It can drive us to insanity.

So, in some vain effort to manage things, we smile where our hearts should really be, instead? We insist that “everything’s fine,” but our “tell” gives us away. You know. That rage explosion that happens out of nowhere?

Yeah, that thing.

All because we tried to apply the smile Band-Aid that did not heal any boo-boo whatsoever. It could not fix what dealing with our issues honestly, with pain, work and grit, would have. We have to do the work. And both the heart and the head can sometimes impede that work.

The heart tells stories; the head tells stories. As opposed to the gut. That’s the area of ourselves we don’t spend much time and thought on. Intuition. An inner knowing. Instinct.

But there’s no gut charm out there. At least I haven’t seen the jewelry. A stomach? Maybe some intestines? On a brooch or a necklace? Nope, haven’t seen it.

Still, we need to look at the gut and pay attention to its offerings. If the heart and the head tell stories and get us into trouble, then the gut warns distinctly, giving us a one or two-word answer like…”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Stop!”

“Get away!”

 “Unsafe.”

It has no flowery language, no romantic story attached to it. It’s stark. Blunt. Maybe, sometimes, rude. But it’s on the money.

And we know it; we’ve experienced it. But we have often be trained in our lives to override it with story, lie, fantasy, excuse. We follow those things instead of instinct. And Wham-o. We find ourselves in a predicament.

If we can practice quieting ourselves to ask a yes or no question, awaiting a response from our gut, we can get our answer…without the rambling story.

“What do I want?” The gut helps us to get closer to that.

If my “heart-head” calls the shots, it could tip me over. Ka-thunk.

And, if I insist on showing only a smile as protective battle armor, convincing myself that I don’t need to deal with any other issue because a happy facial expression makes up for it, ka-thunk, as well, right on my face.

But, if I ask the yes or no question to the gut, what can happen? More often than not, healthier, better stuff.

Peace.

Self-care.

Freedom.

I still have the charm. It’s a pretty piece of jewelry. But where it once represented being heart-centered, putting on a happy face, now, it represents how doing just that can often leave me out of proportion, out of balance.

The gut helps me balance. When feeling and thinking become counterproductive, the gut is there is there to bypass story and tell me the truth.

And that’s what I need. That’s what we all need.

Truth.

Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse