Sunday, October 31, 2021
Boo! Is Candy Scary To You?
It’s
that time of year again-the official start of the “candy holidays,” kicked off
by Halloween. It can be sheer torture, facing the overwhelming displays of
treats now. This is especially the case for those of us struggling with food,
weight, and body image issues and disorders.
Indeed,
for a lot of us out there, it can trigger disordered eating patterns.
So,
what do we do? We can’t stop Halloween- and all “candy holidays” from coming. It’s
not an easy situation. But we can look for perspective and help, even
considering the temptations and issues we face, dealing with candy and
“trigger” situations.
“All things are lawful for me, but all things
are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.”
1 Corinthians 10:23
Candy,
by itself, is neither evil, nor good. It’s inanimate. It has no nutritional
value; and yes, it’s loaded with sugar, other preservatives and colors. The
“moderation” issue, therefore, comes into play. You and I will probably not die
or have the worst case scenario, (whatever we define that to be for our lives,
such as the notoriously dreaded “getting fat” fear) if we eat some candy, from
time to time, in our lives.
(And
I say that as a current survivor of both eating disorders and Breast
cancer).
We
would probably benefit from looking at eating candy as a choice; candy
has no nutritional value.
So,
according to 1 Corinthians, it is “lawful,” but does it “edify?”
The
constant staples in our lives need to be healthy choices: nutritious food,
balanced exercise, sleep, quality relationships, nurturing support and numerous
daily spiritual, emotional, and physiological practices. That applies to each
of us; it doesn’t require a cancer or eating disorder diagnosis to make that
point relevant. It is about an overall healthy lifestyle, not if we ate
some candy corn today.
Yes,
it’s challenging, facing the overwhelming flavors, colors, choices- and
emotional ties that Halloween candy can represent to us. But remember, there is
credence to a life that includes enjoyment.
Are
you and I taking time to enjoy our lives?
For
some of us out there, that may mean eating some candy today; for others, it may
mean choosing another option.
Regardless
of what you choose today, “to candy or not to candy,” it would probably do us
some good to look at candy with newer eyes today.
It’s
not your best friend or your worst enemy.
And
you and I are so much more valuable than its existence.
Copyright © 2021 by
Sheryle Cruse
Friday, October 29, 2021
Mistaking Addiction For Happiness?
“Keep thy heart with all diligence;
for out of it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23
“Frankenstein”
author, Mary Shelley’s quote recently stopped me in my tracks:
“No man chooses evil because it is evil; he only
mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.”
You could
insert the word “addiction” in place of “evil,” and you’d have a fitting
portrait of the chaotic addict.
For whether
or not we understand it, face it or change it, the happiness lure is synonymous
with our own addiction-prone hearts. We have more in common with Dr. Frankenstein
and his obsessions than is flattering to admit.
We are creatures of what we treasure
in our hearts.
“For where your treasure is, there
will your heart be also.”
Matthew 6:21; Luke 12:34
If we apply
Shelley’s quote directly to our dear scientist, we see how he has viewed the creation
of life in a laboratory as his happiness, as “the good he seeks.” This was his
addiction. So consumed, he did bring to life a creation compiled of assembled cadavers.
A little electricity and presto! We have our grotesque monster.
His frantic
behavior is not far removed from us, in the grips of our own personal
addictions.
Case in
point: our unique “bottom” experiences. Just superimpose our own debauchery
incidents.
How low did
we go? How out of control were we? How much did we damage and lose, all because
we were thoroughly convinced we had found our happiness, our much-sought after good?
This
dovetails into our next truth...
We tend to believe what we feel.
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so
is he...”
Proverbs 23:7
Dr.
Frankenstein, perhaps, believed he was doing something “for the greater good”
in his reanimated creation. Perhaps, he felt he could eradicate all pain, loss
and death from life. That would be a good thing, right? And, many a commentary
has explored how Dr. Frankenstein wanted to play God.
Hmmm...
Playing God... It sounds a smidge familiar.
For, in
scripture, someone else also wanted
to play God...
“But you said in your heart, 'I will ascend to heaven; I will
raise my throne above the stars of God. And I will sit on the mount of assembly
In the recesses of the north. I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I
will be like the most High.’”
Isaiah 14:13-14
And we see
what happened there...
“Yet thou shalt be brought down to hell, to the sides of the
pit.”
Isaiah 14:15
“How art thou fallen from heaven, O
Lucifer, son of the morning! How art thou cut down to the ground, which didst
weaken the nations!”
Yeah, so
there’s that.
And we can resemble
that same spirit whenever we go full throttle in rationalizing our addictions.
Perhaps we
say things to ourselves like...
“I have to do this in order to
function. People depend on me to get results.”
“This is what I have to do to survive
the hell I’ve gone through.”
Saying these
things, we, therefore, arrive at our next checkpoint...
Our hearts may not be as honest as we
think them to be.
“The heart is deceitful above all
things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Jeremiah 17:9
Did Dr.
Frankenstein ever stop, anywhere in the process, and examine his motives? Did
he pray? Did he search the moral implications of his passionate work? Did he
think about the consequences?
From the
story, it appears he simply went full steam ahead, convinced he was on the
right track. He believed he was on his way to greatness. Nothing could- or should- stop him.
He was not
objective; there was no way he could be.
And he
definitely wasn’t looking for someone to call him out on his outrageous plans.
Nope.
Again, he
made the mistake of seeing this “evil” as his harmless, even benevolent,
happiness or good.
And, so do
we, don’t we?
One theory asserts
that addictions begin for one reason and continue for other reasons. But, in
that process, we are never alerted as to when, exactly, that “change” happens
for us. There is no Google alert to warn us how our curiosity, attempts at
being social or meeting a perceived need now continue because we are in over
our heads and need a coping device.
Ah, yes,
coping. This brings us to the next dose of reality concerning our hearts and
this so-called “pursuit of happiness...”
Each one of us comes from a
heartbreaking backstory, which influences our choices.
“The heart knoweth his own
bitterness; and a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy.”
Proverbs 14:10
We don’t
know Dr. Frankenstein’s pain backstory, per se. Still, he appears to be driven
by something. Somewhere, in his life, perhaps, an unmet need festered, creating
the obsession for control and achievement. He, again, embodies Shelley’s quote.
“No man chooses evil because it is
evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.”
There is no
denying it, pain, likewise, motivates us, for better or for worse.
Many of us
have experiences with abuse, loss, death and all kinds of tragic circumstances
which shape us.
And, if we
are not mindful, we can find ourselves driven to acquire some “consolation
prize” with which to soothe ourselves.
We are convinced
it is happiness, the good we certainly need to seek for our lives.
This often
provides the ground floor for addiction to flourish. We believe our chosen
happiness will eradicate, fix or soothe our heartbreak.
So, in this
regard, Proverbs 14:10 not only illustrates the significance of our pain,
but of our individual addictions as well. Each is as unique as a fingerprint.
This unique significance prompts this necessity...
Each one of us needs to get searched.
“Search me, O God, and know my heart:
try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and
lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalms 139:23-24
We don’t know, to what extent, Dr.
Frankenstein was warned. But come on, creating eternal life, manmade style?
That had to ruffle a few feathers and wag a few tongues, decrying, “madness”
and “blasphemy,” among other less-than-enthusiastic responses.
Concerning the classic story, we know the
tragic result. He plunged into the endeavor, animating this grotesque being
with no plan for what would happen beyond that creation. There was no commitment
to take care of the creature. None. People freaked out, attempting to hurt and
kill what they did not understand, his monster. Dr. Frankenstein never
considered that human response. Our doctor, in the realm of personal
accountability, responsibility and consequences, did not want to search or be
searched.
His focus was on his definition of happiness,
however harmful it may have been.
Again, kind of like us. Because most of us
aren’t interested in this searching, this “moral inventory.”
Nope. Just feed the disease, the craving, the
desire which assures us happiness is found here. It is the goodness we seek,
period.
Yet, this willingness to be searched- and dealt
with- cannot be avoided.
“He who conceals his transgressions
will not prosper. But he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.”
Proverbs 28:13
We must look at ourselves in truth. Not
delusion, not rationalization, not deceit. Truth.
“If we say that we have
no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is
faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
1 John 1:8-9
Without that, the tragedy of Shelley’s story
may well be ours.
“Then when lust hath
conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth
death.”
James 1:15
But it doesn’t have to be that way.
“‘For I have no pleasure in the death
of him that dieth,’ saith the Lord GOD. ‘wherefore turn yourselves, and live
ye.’”
Ezekiel 18:32
Cue the next truth...
Each one of us is subject to getting
our minds blown and our desires fulfilled by the Most High God.
Dr.
Frankenstein did not stop to consider the rewards which come from focusing on Divine
direction.
“Trust in the Lord
with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways
acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
He wanted to
take the credit for his accomplishment. In doing so, he missed an incredible
opportunity.
Again, there
was probably not much prayer, asking for wisdom in his choices.
Instead, he
was convinced his way was the right way. And, in doing so, he short-changed his
potential to do something astounding, had he been Spirit-led, not ego-led.
And isn’t
that what we do when we reach for our addiction instead of the closeness with
our Maker? Our Creator is a loving Father Who wishes to bless and enhance us,
not curse and harm us.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the
Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11
Connection
with Him, taking top priority within us, allows for a greater chance of that
fulfillment.
Addiction’s
faulty promise lies in its short-term gratification, in its counterfeit
resemblance of spiritual communion. Nevertheless, its promise can be a tempting
proposition; after all, our addictions are usually within our natural reach.
The Most High God, to us, feels more remote.
Unlike our
addictions, connection with our Creator requires faith. Faith is not an easy,
materialized product. Its basis is that of uncertainty and trust, asking for us
to go beyond our finite senses. Often, that is neither gratifying nor
comforting.
Dr.
Frankenstein may have believed if he abandoned his addiction of creating “life,”
all would be hopelessly lost. He didn’t entertain there could be a better way,
a higher way, apart from his original set course.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my
ways, says the Lord. For as the
heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My
thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
Likewise, in
our addiction-minded states, we become obsessed with everything we will lose if
we forsake our addictions.
We don’t
stop to think about what we will gain.
But we need
to keep first things first. There is a reward for doing so.
“But
as it is written, ‘Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into
the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.’”
1 Corinthians 2:9
We choose
what we will believe about how our “Higher Power.” We choose whether or not we
will believe the Divine to be better and more fulfilling than our addiction.
“No man chooses evil because it is
evil; he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks.”
Where are
you and I in this statement?
Motives,
definitions and choices are nothing to take lightly. We are on the spectrum of
choosing and mistaking. Each of us is subject to our “happily ever after” good
and what we believe that good will do for us.
Each one of
us is capable of getting it wrong.
Only the
Most High represents the actual good we seek. Let there be no mistaking that.
“O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is
the man that trusteth in him.”
Psalm 34:8
Copyright © 2021 by Sheryle Cruse
Bifurcation: Addiction’s Jeckle and Hyde
“A double minded man
is unstable in all his ways.”
James 1:8
The word bifurcation means “the division of something
into two branches or parts.” It may not be a widely known and used word within
our vocabulary. Yet its prevalence abounds.
Dr. Jekyll
and Mr. Hyde are two figures which describe a person who is radically, even morally
different, depending upon the circumstance.
Indeed, Robert Louis Stevenson’s novella appears to capture the chaotic struggle, as an
individual wars in the battle between good and evil.
It’s an excellent portrait of
addiction.
For, according to the literary
classic, Dr. Jekyll, endeavoring to win that battle, creates a
potion. Doing this spurs the persona of Mr. Hyde, who increasingly gains more power.
And, we see how the regular consumption of this potion becomes
destructive. Eventually, the personality of Hyde becomes so strong, the person
of Jekyll grows dependent upon the potion to simply function.
Again, this Jekyll and Hyde schism mirrors addiction. How many times have
we heard, witnessed or behaved in a manner which is diametrically opposite of
our “normal” selves? We encounter examples of “the angry drunk” or “the happy
drunk.” We see the introvert who, because of various substances, becomes the
life of the party.
Personality
is altered. And, frequently, that alteration has adverse results.
Concerning
our addiction experiences, it would, therefore, be beneficial to examine the Dr.
Jekyll and Mr. Hyde within each of us.
Willingness
“…‘Do you want to
get well?’"
John 5:6
First, we
have to face our attitude about willingness. There is no neutrality here. We
veer toward yes or no: to face our truth and to admit we need help.
Dr. Jekyll in
us may, indeed, be cooperative. But, let’s be real, even if that is the case,
at best, we are often clueless, even if we are agreeable.
“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to
do, that I do not practice: but what I hate, that I do.”
Romans 7:15
That’s where
the recovery programs come in, touting “trust the process” and “surrender.”
“For now we see through a glass, darkly...”
1 Corinthians 13:12
We need to
admit we are not capable of objectivity and of successfully running our own
lives when it comes to our addictions, disorders and vices. Clearly, we cannot.
If we could
effectively do that, we wouldn’t be where we are in our assorted messes.
We may be well
intentioned, like Dr. Jekyll, not wanting to cause harm, believing we have things
under control. Yet, we are unsupervised with our personal solution potions; and
a door to someone-and something- else opens.
“...the spirit indeed is
willing, but the flesh is
weak.”
Matthew 26:41
So, most of
the time, our “no response” to both matters of willingness and wellness, ushers
in Mr. Hyde.
“Where there is no vision, the people
perish...”
Proverbs 29:18
There’s
another translation to this powerful scripture:
“Where there is no
vision, people cast off restraint.”
I believe
that particular translation speaks more accurately of us. Here exists our
dangerous addiction alter ego, Mr. Hyde. We are confronted by self-sabotage.
Many of us are wrestling with various demons, compelling our passions. We
possess psyches which, already broken and bruised, operate from negative
assertions, things like...
I am worthless.
I am pointless.
I am joyless.
Indeed, what
drove Dr. Jekyll to look for something outside of himself? Deep insecurity?
Some form of “less than?”
We certainly
don’t see this character as content with himself and with his life. He believed
he needed something extra, something more, to enhance things.
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so
is he...”
Proverbs 23:7
He, in
essence, believed the hype of his Hyde; he believed that persona was his
answer.
And that
makes the next reality even more challenging.
The Tricky Heart:
“…‘Do you want to
get well?’"
John 5:6
Before Mr.
Hyde, exists Dr. Jekyll. Before behavior, comes the issue-laden heart.
“For where your treasure is, there
will your heart be also.”
Matthew 6:21; Luke 12:34
Failure to
know, to acknowledge and to deal with that truth leave us even more vulnerable
to Matthew
26:41’s point.
“...the spirit indeed is
willing, but the flesh is
weak.”
But, if Dr. Jekyll
is oblivious or hardened to that perspective, inevitably, Mr. Hyde surfaces. He
is the attitude which refuses to accept and deal with individual, flawed
humanity.
“The heart is deceitful above all
things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Jeremiah 17:9
He is that
direct defiance of addiction as ugly truth.
“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the
truth is not in us.”
1 John 1:8
And, once we
allow that to be our “normal,” we cross into another dangerous level. We are emboldened
to believe our actions will never catch up with us.
“He hath said in his heart, I shall not be
moved: for I shall never be in adversity.”
Psalms 10:6
Mr. Hyde,
sooner or later, will kill and destroy. My Hyde rages against our lives.
And that
affects the rubber meets the road truth of active recovery.
Doing the Life’s Work:
“…‘Do you want to get well?’"
John 5:6
The recovery
phrase, “doing the work” not only addresses the healthier action of sobriety,
but to an improved life overall.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence;
for out of it are the issues of life.”
Proverbs 4:23
And again,
our baseline is Dr. Jekyll. He is our vulnerability and our potential for
destruction.
“...the spirit indeed is
willing, but the flesh is
weak.”
Matthew 26:41
“One day at
a time,” therefore, is the necessary, daily commitment we make. When we
recognize both our need for willingness and our fragile humanity, we, in
essence, say “yes” to John 5:6’s question. We engage in
our work and welcome the Divine intervention which oversees the entire process.
“And I will give them a heart to know
me, that I am the LORD: and they shall be my people, and I will be their God:
for they shall return unto me with their whole heart.”
Jeremiah 24:7
However, if
we say “no,” Mr. Hyde rears his destructive head again. He comes with toxic
defiance.
“He hath said in his heart, ‘I shall not be
moved: for I shall never be in adversity.’”
Psalms 10:6
“...‘God hath forgotten... he will never
see it.’”
Psalms 10:11
Mr. Hyde’s
lifeblood is denial. And this mocks our need to do the recovery work, to
change, to heal.
Our Creator
knows us: every thought, motivation, delusion and sickness. He knows. He knows
if we are Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde right now, right this second.
“The king's heart is in the hand of
the LORD, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will. Every
way of a man is right in his own eyes: but the LORD pondereth the hearts.”
Proverbs 21:1-2
This is
comprehensive knowledge of our entire health. And that health must extend
beyond ourselves.
Being Mindful of Others:
“…‘Do you want to
get well?’"
John 5:6
Dr. Jekyll
has enough common sense and decency to realize he is not an island unto
himself. There is a sphere of influence close to him. Impressionable souls are
watching.
“Let us not therefore judge one another anymore: but judge
this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in his
brother's way.”
Romans 14:13
This stumbling block factor amplifies where we
stand on health and recovery. For, if we truly have embraced the tenets of
sobriety, we take ownership of our influence on others. In our addictions, we
have caused pain; in our addictions, we have caused others to stumble.
“...the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
Matthew 26:41
But, again, refusal to face that invites Mr.
Hyde to do what he does best: destroy.
“Where there is
no vision, the people perish...”
Proverbs 29:18
Again, we’re back to casting off restraint.
Addiction, much like our dear Mr. Hyde has, at
its core, rampant, potentially murderous, selfishness. All we chase is our high.
How much was laid waste because we let it rip?
Recovery unflinchingly challenges the addict
to face his/her personally executed desolation. And, part of that healing
addresses our role as destructive influencer, luring others into disease.
Again, no person is an island unto
himself/herself. The ripple effect, unfortunately, can drown anyone in its
undercurrent.
Let’s face it: Mr. Hyde would rather have his
potion than anything else. Nothing bothers him in the throes of his passion. A
relationship or even a person could die and it would not matter. He has his beloved.
Everything and everyone else is expendable, save his cherished addiction.
“A double minded man
is unstable in all his ways.”
James 1:8
This Jekyll and Hyde factor, to a certain degree, affects all of us by its
precarious duality.
But those of us prone to addiction have an
even more intense vulnerability.
Bifurcation’s definition, indeed, is “the division of something into two branches or parts.”
If we refuse to acknowledge and
deal with that, we convey we are agreeable to any misfortune which inevitably
follows our self-destructive decision; it is synonymous with our potion/addiction
and its madness for which we see no reason to quell.
Right now, we have a decision
to make: we can choose the single or double minded path. We can confront our
Dr. Jekyll, our Mr. Hyde and our disease.
We can choose to stop or
continue the division. We can choose.
Copyright © 2021 by
Sheryle Cruse
The Teacher is Silent
Recovery-from
much of anything- is often not done in the steady hum of encouragement. It’s
frequently done in intimidating quiet. Even with support groups, sponsors,
treatment centers, churches and any number of “support structures,” we are still
left with our true selves. And, no matter what affirmations we have heard and learned,
we alone are left to apply them. There is no uplifting outside cheerleader.
There is just our decision.
I know this comes
across as negative, especially concerning “the Higher Power” factor.
As a person
of faith, I’m not dismissing the role The Most High plays. Rather, I see how the
Divine shows up in disguised forms, one of those being the unanswered quiet.
Years ago, I
heard a statement which rocked my own recovery:
“When the student is taking the test,
the teacher is silent.”
This went in
tandem with my therapist’s advice; my
recovery progress would not go unchallenged. I had to be prepared for any
person’s “change back” attitudes.
“When a person does not accept your
‘no,’ they’re trying to control you.”
(Advice given from a self-defense
expert, instructing females on their attackers’ viewpoints)
My “No” response
has often not been accepted. Indeed, as I have worked to form and keep healthy
boundaries, I have had to directly shut down my people pleaser nature and hold
firm in the face of that negativity.
“All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’
or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”
Matthew
5:37
Not surprisingly,
“the people” on the other end of my response are usually not pleased.
Therefore, they have tried to cajole, insult, threaten or force me to change my
response to their preferred “yes.”
And, when I
do not do this, this situation becomes even more awkward. It is a “silent
teacher/student-taking-test” dynamic going on. That uncomfortable silence can often
prompt a temptation for me to give in, but I need to remind myself if I do
this, it violates me and sends the message to the other person: “I can be
manipulated.”
And I do not
wish to return to the harmful place from which I came.
For, in the past, certain family members of mine have
attempted to shame me when I did not do things their way. They asserted I was
brainwashed, forgetting where I came from.
But, many of these same individuals are currently
locked in some abusive or addictive state. I am not saying this to condemn,
rather, to illustrate how difficult it is to create health from a diseased
state of being. These individuals have known about the dysfunction which is the
family reality. And they choose how they respond concerning those facts.
Some have chosen to continue the harmful behaviors. They
believe their loyalty to
the unhealthy pattern must be prized and protected, even to the detriment of another
person’s- or their own- well-being. To do anything beyond that, then, is ruled
to be unrealistic, arrogant, and yes, disloyal.
Therefore, because of that unhealthy existing family dynamic, my more
unfamiliar, uncomfortable approach to it needs to happen all the more. I cannot
control others’ lifestyle choices. However, I do have some control of mine.
And that is
also part of the student’s silent test: learning what one is- and is not-
responsible for.
Part of my
family’s toxic belief system also asserts there are some individuals who are
not to be held accountable for their destructive behaviors, while, at the same
time, there are other designated family members who are to be overly
responsible caregivers and rescuers, making the unhealthy situation “okay”
somehow.
Concerning
my family member’s responses to my “no/boundary-focused” stance, they often do
not expect that. They are convinced I will cave to their whims. And, I’ve heard
it said you can tell a lot about who a person is when they get that “no” for an
answer.
Personal
experience-wise, what I have surmised is that family reaction is often straight-up
anger.
“Do not befriend a hot-tempered man, and do not associate
with one who harbors anger. Lest you learn his ways, and ensnare your soul.”
Proverbs 22:24-25
That’s not a
surprise to me. After all, there are honestly very few people in this world who
enjoy being told “no” when they’d rather experience a “yes.” That’s human.
We want what
we want when we want it.
But, the
problem comes in when an agenda to use coercion, shame or brutal force surfaces
as the “logical and reasonable” response. It negates the validity of the person
who just answered no. It reiterates that person has no such right TO that word.
But,
again...
“All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’
or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”
Matthew
5:37
Unfortunately,
my experience with certain individuals has shown me there is no room for their
understanding of anyone’s fundamental right to say “no” on any topic
whatsoever. There is an impasse and little can be done concerning it.
More
importantly, it’s not my responsibility to FIX this. Personal accountability
applies to all.
Proverbs 19:19, therefore, has frequently sprung to
my mind as it relates to my own navigation within these less-than-ideal family
constraints.
“A person with great anger bears the penalty; if you rescue
him, you'll have to do it again.”
When it
comes to giving in to the person expecting/demanding my yes which could be
harmful to me in any way, “...you'll have to do it again.”
And, guess
what? Concerning my recovery process, I do not want to do that.
Dealing with
someone else’s disappointed anger is yet another “silent teacher/test-taking
student” moment. I have no cheerleaders with megaphones, giving me an “Atta girl!”
I need to do
that by myself in that quiet, awkward space of the truthful moment. It is not
easy; it is not fun. But it is recovery work, nonetheless.
Do I wish
things were different? Sure.
But,
regardless of how things are now, I still must navigate. Each person is given
free will to decide what he/she chooses. And some choose disease.
So, once I
know that, their choice must not sway mine. And that is why I find my encouragement
here:
“And he took courage
and rebuilt all the wall that had been broken down and erected towers on it,
and built another outside wall and strengthened... and made weapons and shields
in great number.”
2 Chronicles 32:5
To me, the
recovery work principle is, indeed, found within this least likely scripture.
But we are
all in process, on a recovery continuum, taking tests and learning how to simply
be. We need tools, mechanisms, safe havens and power-fused words, like that of
“no.” We need to know our recovery is too important- WE are too important- to
sacrifice health for disease in whatever dangerous, quiet moments are presented
to us.
Be encouraged,
dear student, as you take your next test.
Copyright © 2021 by Sheryle Cruse
Wednesday, October 27, 2021
Monday, October 25, 2021
“The Moderation Treat”
It’s
that time of year again-the official start of the “candy holidays,” kicked off
by Halloween. It can be sheer torture, facing the overwhelming displays of
treats now. There seems to be food everywhere! And, for a lot of us out there,
it can trigger disordered eating patterns.
So,
what do we do? We can’t stop Halloween- and all “candy holidays” from coming.
No, it’s not an easy situation. But we can look for perspective and help, even
considering the temptations and issues we face, dealing with food and “trigger”
situations.
When
I was a kid, involved in 4-H, this time of year offered some specific,
Halloween-themed treats. One such treat brought out was the Cheez- Wiz Pumpkins
my mom made for our October 4-H Club meeting each year. You take a round-shaped
bun, smear it with Cheez-Wiz and then decorate it with olives, creating a
Jack-o-Lantern face, hence a Cheez-Wiz Pumpkin.
Fairly
self-explanatory, eh?
Within
my faith, there is a scripture, a “moderation scripture,” if you will, that can
shed some permission on not being completely, unrealistically, perfect, even
concerning food issues…
“All things are lawful for me, but all things
are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.”
1
Corinthians 10:23
This
holiday food, like any season’s candy or like junk food, by itself, is neither
evil, nor good. It’s inanimate. It has little-to-no nutritional value; and yes,
it’s loaded with sugar, salt, other preservatives and colors.
Let’s
face it, Cheez-Wiz is not, exactly, “health food.”
But
our personal morality is not at stake if we eat it. If we eat a Cheez-Wiz
Pumpkin, or any other designated treat, we will not burn in Hell. We need to
realistically look at what the food is and our viewpoint concerning it.
Therefore,
the “moderation” issue comes into play. We need to look at eating Cheez-Wiz
Pumpkins, candy, or any other guilty food pleasure as a choice. So, according to 1 Corinthians,
it’s “lawful,” but does it “edify?”
These
less-than-healthy food choices will not harm us, if, the constant
staples in our lives are healthier food options, balanced exercise, sleep,
relationships, support and daily spiritual, emotional and physiological
choices. It’s about overall health.
Yes,
it’s challenging, facing the overwhelming flavors, colors, choices- and
emotional ties that certain foods can represent to us.
But
remember, moderation.
“All things are lawful for me, but all things
are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.”
1
Corinthians 10:23
Sometimes, not all the time. Yin AND Yang.
For
some of us out there, that may mean having some candy today; for others, it may
mean choosing another option.
Regardless
of what you choose today, this designated, guilty pleasure food is not
your best friend or your worst enemy. It’s food, junk food, candy or
Cheez-Wiz Pumpkins; that’s all.
Celebrate
your life beyond any food. Celebrate all that life has to
offer!
Copyright © 2021 by Sheryle Cruse
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