Sit Anyway

 

We can often take for granted sitting comfortably… in a chair, on a couch, in any station we find ourselves in concerning this life. Sometimes, yes, everything is clicking just right. It is a perfect fit.

Kismet. Fate. Divine Plan.

Still, within our daily lives, often we are uncomfortably seated.

Felines love boxes; they love sitting in boxes. And not just the domestic Tabby Cat, either.

I have seen big cats- leopards, lions, and tigers enjoying a cardboard box, seeing its presence as an invitation to sit in it.

Easier said than done, however, for Big Kitty. I’m sure you’ve seen some of the adorable and humorous images online. Many a creature, large or small, has overestimated the cardboard box’s ability to contain their bodies effectively. The box is usually squashed. And often, this is the caption that follows…

“If I fits, I sits.”

Awwwwh.

Yet, if you and I engage in sitting situations, like these fuzzy creatures, it seems to be, or, at least, feels, less adorable. The experience we have is awkward, ill-fitting, humiliating, or chaotic. It goes beyond just a squashed cardboard box. Yet, despite its unpleasantness, much of it seems inevitable, unavoidable. We cannot escape it.

What can we do about it?

“If I fits, I sits.”

But we don’t fit. One way or another, we don’t. There are numerous, unique ways this shows up for us. And maybe it can be better addressed by a theory on answered prayer; the Divine answers our prayers one of three ways:

Yes.

Not yet.

I have something better for you.

Let’s just explore that possibility a bit.

When “If I fits, I sits” is a fail for us, it probably speaks to the educational process of living ill-fitting. Such as…

When we haven’t quite grown into something…

“If I fits, I sits.”

The problem here isn’t that we crushed some proverbial cardboard box because we’re too big for it. We haven’t grown into its space. There’s extra room all alongside of us. If we tried to wear it as clothing (as certain avant-garde fashion designers have insisted on in many of their runway shows), it’d probably fall off.

We want something. We need something. We desire something. We aspire to or strive towards something. And, the first prayer answer option, “yes,” hasn’t popped up for us.

Now, it seems, we are in the realm of option two, “not yet.”

You can hear the bloodcurdling, frustrated screams, can’t you?

Being told to wait. Being in limbo. Being put off.

It feels like there are hurdles and obstacles, roadblocks, all while feeling that “not yet” is simply a cop out. Just code for “no, and I don’t want to deal with you further, so I’ll just leave you hanging.”

That’s fun. That’s enjoyable.

So, what are we supposed to do? Well, what if we consider the felines’ perspective?

“If I fits, I sits.”

Translation?

Sit anyway.

I know. It’s uncomfortable, embarrassing, even.

You and I feel stupid, like gluttons for punishment. We do not want to be here. Between sitting in this ill-fitting situation and standing, with some modicum of dignity, it seems we’d rather stand, right?

But there is beauty, meaning, significance, and answers in staying put. There’s a bigger picture to us staying put concerning a situation in which we feel way out of our depth. Overwhelmed. Ill-equipped. On hold.

However, just look what is happening, just look at what is being developed during all of this waiting!

We are becoming who we are supposed to be, altered versions of the pre-sit experience. “Not yet” is where we discover. Discovery doesn’t always equal fun, but it informs us in a way nothing else can. Make the mistake. Flub. Have a crisis. Flail. Look like an imbecile. It’s temporary. I give you some advice from Sir Winston Churchill…

“Success is never final, and failure is never fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.”

The courage is found in sitting in the “not yet.”

“If I fits, I sits.”

Need more? Well, Winston gets no-nonsense blunt about it…

“If you're going through hell, keep going.”

That only happens if you and I are like the felines, who, despite not achieving the perfect fit, decide they are sitting, nonetheless.

“If I fits, I sits.”

And then, you and I need to decide for ourselves what value can be gleaned from this uncomfortably seated situation. There is value. It’s not fun. But the proverbial cardboard box didn’t promise us it would be fun. It is just there. We take it up on its offer of being there… and go from there to a different place.

And no, we don’t know what that place will be. But it is there for us. Just not yet.

Can we stayed seated and develop, in the meantime, understanding that?

When we have outgrown something…

We feel the winds of change. Something is different. Something is scary. Something is life-altering. Like many of the feline images of cats trying to reside in a too-small box, we sense we no longer fit a situation.

“If I fits, I sits.”

This is, by no means, about us remaining in something that no longer fits us. Rather, it’s about possessing the awareness, instead of fighting it, that we have outgrown something in our lives. Before we take any kind of healthy and beneficial action, we must, first, be aware that our lives need to change. No small thing. It’s an intimidating cardboard box to behold.

Sometimes, we need to become so uncomfortable, be in so much pain, by resisting the pain that persists, that the fear takes a backseat to the agony of having outgrown something. Growing pains. They don’t call them “Growing Pleasures,” now, do they?

Wherever we are in this seating arrangement, each of us needs to decide for ourselves the question of how much is enough. How much is too much? Some of us have ridiculous thresholds of pain. Some of us can tolerate a lot of abuse, disorder, and dysfunction.

But there is a saturation point. Sooner or later, each of us reaches the awareness of what that is.

Sitting in this circumstance, we, again, are often in “not yet” territory when it comes to any answered prayer or yearning.

“If I fits, I sits.”

Sit anyway.

Okay, so maybe we’re not moving now.

Maybe we feel paralyzed, stranded, confused. Maybe it’s stagnant right now.

But this feeling is not without its own merit. We need to remember this paralyzed, stagnant, stuck feeling; use it as fuel to not remain the limitation of who we were. We are in the process of becoming; we are constantly changing. We need look no further than our high school yearbook photos. We are not now who we were then. Thankfully. Because some of those hairstyles were atrocious!

But seriously, look at yourself, say, fifteen years ago. See any differences? Of course, you do! That was a different age and stage and time than where you are now. You changed. And you’ll do it again.

We all need to reassure ourselves of that.

So, in the meantime…

“If I fits, I sits.”

Sit anyway.

And know the unfolding plan and change will reveal itself.

Be “Big cat in a tiny box” confident of that.

When we have been told/we believe we shouldn’t have something…

Here is where we, perhaps, finally get to the third answered prayer option: “I have something better for you.”

Yes, we may be waiting in “not yet” limbo, but this core belief, kicking around in many of us, can threaten to defeat us, all because we assert, somehow, we do not deserve something good, healthy, or loving. We can be completely unconscious we are operating from this perspective too. It’s subtle. It’s just a way of being from some early experience that wrongly taught us we are undeserving, no matter what we do or don’t do, no matter who we are. That’s a painful, lonely, and difficult thing to overcome in life.

Let’s revisit the felines for a bit.

The mentality of them is claiming rightful ownership of a cardboard box, however how ill-fitting it may be. Felines are all about dominion, aren’t they? Couch, bed, person, they “claim.” They “own.” There is no self-doubt.

“If I fits, I sits.”

Too small? Too big? Not quite “ours?” No problem!

“If I fits, I sits.”

Sit anyway.

Sit anyway.

I know, yet again, it’s easier said than done. Believing we are worthy. How does that become organically engrained in our being? How does it become an automatic thought we don’t need to reach or try so hard for?

Perhaps, it starts by recognizing and admitting to ourselves that we have been fed wrong information about our worth. We were lied to, misled, and ill-prepared to accept that which we deserve. Those wrong lessons came from someone; the origin of that harmful misinformation has often been in the form of a person or persons. Often, those individuals have believed the lie or the information several times over for themselves. And, because they don’t know any differently, they pass it on to us. Sometimes, it is of malicious intent, but most of the time, there is an unawareness of self-worth. There is only the acceptance of settling for less than what a human being deserves. And one way or another, we all settle.

Some of us dare not sit, because we believe it is not an available option to us.

Some of us dare not sit because we believe that standing, crouching, or lying down, symbolic of very specific “answers” are the only solutions OVER sitting.

Some of us dare not sit because we believe the box is for someone else, never for us.

We question, self-doubt, disqualify, maybe, even more so, because we and/or life circumstances are not “perfect enough” yet. So, we settle for something only being as good as a certain level, while never believing there could ever be a better way. It’s not about FOMO or “Bigger, better deal.” It’s about not valuing ourselves at all. It’s about not believing we are entitled to rest, to sit, to experience a respite of a good thing in life.

And so, we accept the unfulfilling plan, marriage, relationship, expectation, and opportunity because, after all, being disappointed and unfulfilled IS something that we have coming. We can sit in misery. That’s a familiar cardboard box. But joy? Peace? Contentment? Acceptance of who we are? Well, we can never inhabit THAT space.

We decide that is not our rightful space.

Only, it is.

Just look at the decidedness of the feline choosing its box. Boom!

“If I fits, I sits.”

There is no second guessing, no waffling. No awaiting perfection. There is no attention being paid to naysayers.

Sit anyway.

Sitting into, settling into, our authentic, valuable lives is an inherent right. It’s about taking up rightful space. There will always be an argument and reasons not to do so.

But there will also always be proverbial boxes, extending the invitation to feel like we’re not quite ready, to get uncomfortable, to grow, to stretch, to sit in the process of all that “sitting anyway” means.

In this regard, you and I do “fit.” Therefore, because we fit, we can agree with and practice that same assertion:

“If I fits, I sits.”

Sit anyway.

Sit anyway.

Sit anyway.

Copyright © 2021 by Sheryle Cruse