There was a funny meme of two made up eyes. It was titled,
“Putting eyeliner on.” Panel after panel chronicled a person’s attempts to
achieve an exotic “cat eye.” The first panel assesses one eye that does not
quite match the other. Therefore, the corrective measures by the fictional pair
of eyes are implemented. A simple solution of just adding more eyeliner to the one
sparse eye, unfortunately, results in more mistakes, attempts to erase,
which only cause smudging, and a desperate reapply of eyeliner to both
eyes. The owner of these cosmetically enhanced peepers insists, “I’ll just fill
them in again,” ever the optimist. However, this reapply creates two thick
black eyes, so, two black splotches, essentially, instead of the desired “cat
eye.”
The final panel, with only these two large black splotches
where eyes used to be, finally laments defeat from our friend, “FML, I’ll just
be a panda.”
Our reasons for applying the makeup this way may be, perhaps,
two-fold. First, we may want to craft and reinvent ourselves and our image in a
definitive way. Insecure about anything, from our personal appearances, our
status, or that of our achievements, can have us attempting some form of
reinvention, mask, or identity overhaul. We may desire to be more alluring and
exotic. And you have to have “the look” to go with that exotic persona, now
don’t you? Hence, perhaps, the application of exciting, sexy black eyeliner.
But let’s not forget, everyone. The makeup is immaterial. It
has more to do with mask than with smoky eye.
Many of us have vision that is not 20/20. Far from it. We can
literally press our entire faces right up to a mirror, applying black eyeliner,
simply trying to see what we’re doing. We do this literally, and, of course, in
a bigger picture way.
We struggle to see ourselves reflected accurately. You
and I may want to define our features, but without clear vision, the end
result of that application, inevitably, can become thick, caked, black
eye makeup. The panda.
Our vision issues can distort our lives.
Beauty/Image:
The smokey eye. The cat eye. The spitting image of
Sophia Loren. Let’s face it. Many of us have tried… and have failed,
pursuing it. We start out with a little eyeliner drawn here, this way, then
we’re dissatisfied… and then we make it worse, all by trying to “correct” or
perfect the look. We usually poke ourselves in the eye in the process,
continuing to get further and further away from smokey, feline, and Sophia
Loren. We keep trying, though. Until eventually, we become full-on panda.
Not what we wanted at all.
We see an image; we want an image. We want to BE
that image.
With social media and avatars, there has been greater
emphasis on image. The word, “branding” becomes more common in the daily
lexicon. It is naïve to think that we, “normal people” are not impacted by
branding. We probably don’t see ourselves as international moguls. But each of
us is an influencer, social media or otherwise. Regardless, the pressure
placed on achieving a certain aesthetic is punishing. “Keeping up with
the Jones’” is just one part of it. How many of us have the negative
inner critic, demanding we lose ten pounds, inject that filler, or buy the
overpriced item?
If we don’t, somehow,
we believe, on a primitive level, the worst-case scenario will befall us? What
will that be? Death? Death to our social standing? Death to
accomplishing the perfect relationship, career, child, or opinion?
Each of us needs to get real with image’s importance to us.
Is it more important than truth? More
important than love? More important than decency?
Is how something appears concerning us the most important
thing in the world to us? And if so, why is that?
We put on…
Accomplishments: (Money):
We stare in the mirror, looking at our ho-hum faces. We want
something successful. Powerful. We want tangible proof of results, an external
“proof of life,” as we hold ourselves hostage, demanding a ransom. We want the
smokey eye because that eye represents that we have made it somehow. We are
alluring, commanding. We are in charge. At least, that’s what we first believe
as we take that eyeliner to our peepers. We are trying to draw reality on our
faces. Somehow, many of us believe “more is more,” rather than “less is more.”
There’s nothing “natural look” about our eyes here. We want dramatic, drumroll,
ta-dah! Hello, world, look at who I am! Look at what I’ve done!
Be hypnotized by my smokey eyes! Be convinced I am not a fraud!
Only thing is, because we spent so much time
obsessing, getting myopic about this insecure desire of ours, our “more is more”
mentality has led straight to Panda. No allure. Just two black holes of
eyeliner abyss, that neither convey powerful results nor undeniable allure.
Just Panda Peepers.
FML Panda Eye Alert:
Are we “the who” or “the do?” What is it about
accomplishments, results, and, yes, money, that make us feel that we are
better, more valuable, more valid with them in our grasp? Why does
external trump our internal? Why do we need to add and promote extra
things to cover for a deficit when it comes to ourselves?
More.
We want proof that our lives are deserving.
Most of us have come from backgrounds, families, and
experiences in which we were repeatedly told we weren’t enough. Symbolic naked
faces are not acceptable to the public. Therefore, we needed to cover
that up. We needed to cover over our unworthy nakedness.
And what better way to do that than add extra, more, a
“better face?”
The promise of eyeliner assures us results and
accomplishments, money included. It is that way we put that best face forward.
The makeup is not merely the makeup. The eyeliner represents anything “add-on.”
And it’s different and unique for each of us.
Accomplishment, results, and money are common. But they are
uniquely expressed in us, worn differently, just as eye makeup is. But, like
that eyeliner, these external bits of evidence are designed to create a certain
look.
And, depending on how desperate and unaware we may be, the
panda eyes may be the only thing coming through.
We put on…
Impenetrable Armor:
Yes, we wear warpaint. We slap on a look of sultry, exotic,
powerful, confident, and commanding. Many of us believe “the eyes have it.” Let’s
rim those suckers. Let’s define our strength, accentuate it with some liquid or
black kohl liner. It’s even more of a sure thing, we reason, if that cosmetic
is named something like “Racy Nightfall” or “Eternal Onyx.” Hey, that sounds
like exactly the kind of thing that will protect us from our
insecurities.
All we need to do is just perfectly apply it to our
punims and, there you are!
Still, there is the imperfect struggle, which, much to our
dismay, ends with the Panda eye. We want to capture the beauty, the sex appeal,
the “adult,” when you and I are just the scared, powerless child… wearing a
Panda mask.
But that widespread mask is exactly the level of
protection we want. We just want it to be prettier; we are not thrilled with
looking like the Lone Ranger.
But we do want to be a hidden figure when it comes to
our vulnerability. We want to be the rebel or the bandit who gets away with the
empowerment efforts we associate with a particular face.
We put on…
The Lie:
Give me that liner! Let’s get the smokey eye or die trying!
Dagnabbit, I wanna be beautiful already! I want to be the one with the
glamorous life, free from tediousness, pain, and laundry! I will line and
smudge and define and highlight and create my eyes until everyone in the world
sees just how together I am! And I don’t care if there are Fruity Pebbles stuck
to my hedgehog pajama pants! People worldwide will believe my lie is truth!
Just look at my eyes! Just gaze at my perfect lie of a life!
But it’s nowhere to be found, because the harder we tried to
draw it on our faces and lives, the more sinkhole black Panda splotches we
created for ourselves.
FML Panda Eye Alert:
When you and I don’t like the truth, it seems like we then
double down on striving for the lie all the harder, doesn’t it?
Our psyches, through the vehicles of our faces, after a disastrous
makeup application, still yearn for that “do over.” We try, try again. We try
to make the lie the truth.
Magical thinking. Inner child begging and having temper
tantrums for things to be okay. The promise of happiness when it only seems to
be a mirage. The oversold campaign assurance of “easy” instead of “difficult.”
The guarantee of being pain-free.
The good life.
Beauty, power, unfailing joy, love, prosperity, wealth, all
while cereal is stuck to us and we look like Ling-Ling. But the world believes
the lie, so it must be the truth, right?
The On/Off Switch:
We focus so much on the “add-ons.” We see extra, more, and
layers as equivalent to “better.” But there’s a reason that the expression,
“less is more” has lasted as long as it has. Less distraction, complication, and
artifice is more.
So, maybe we should concentrate on, or at least consider,
taking things off. Strip it down. But fear often paralyzes us at that
thought. For, if we’re stripped of the image, the mask, the armor, the layer,
the protection, then, what’s left?
What do we see?
So, perhaps, we take off…
Aesthetic obsession?
Unhealthy priorities?
Unrealistic expectations?
Deception?
Ulterior motives?
The fixation on control?
Again, what do we see?
What does that look like?
FML Panda Eye Alert: FACE My Life!
What if we didn’t feel the need to apply “extra,” be it eyeliner
or any other external form of enhancement?
For those of us who wear makeup, many of us have experienced
the relief, the “day off” feeling of going without any cosmetics. It’s a reset.
It’s one less thing to do on our “to-do list.”
Granted, we may not feel we look our best, but we see
ourselves as we really are, don’t we?
Without the emphasis on manipulation, by letting things “be,”
perhaps there’s enough quiet, enough stillness, enough unobscured vision to
see… ourselves. There’s nothing lined, defined, manufactured, deceptive.
There is us. If we can dare to see it as such.
Can
we?
Copyright © 2022 by Sheryle Cruse
No comments:
Post a Comment