The Two Jobs

 

There’s a theory out there which asserts we have only two jobs in life:

1)      to learn and 2) to cope.

Spiritually, if we expound on this principle, we can see Divine Intervention at work, should we choose to embrace it.

The First Job: To Learn:

Scripture addresses our human need to learn. Proverbs 1:7 and Proverbs 4:7, for instance, are just a couple of verses which tout the important of wisdom.

“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”

And, again, we are in dire need of this wisdom, as Paul reminds us of our vulnerable human condition...

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice: but what I hate, that I do.”

Romans 7:15

Ergo, cue Divine help and instruction...

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will guide you with My eye.”

Psalm 32:8

“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the way, walk in it, whenever you turn to the right hand, and whenever turn to the left.’”

Isaiah 30:21

“Thou wilt show me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Psalms 16:11

But hold up!

Before we get too ahead of ourselves, it would be advantageous to take a literal page from another book of scripture, the book of Revelation, wa-a-a-a-y at the end of the Bible.

Yes, the Old Testament is great, with its assurances that the Most High has both decided and committed to help us.

But that still doesn’t change the repentance element concerning that help and instruction; that is captured in Revelation 3:19:

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”

One of the very first lessons in the learning job addresses how we have gotten things all wrong and need to change. And, of course, that covers our addiction and recovery issues.

Once again...

“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice: but what I hate, that I do.”

Romans 7:15

So, part of that learning process needs to incorporate change; after all, it has often been our poor decisions which have landed us in our troubled circumstances. That means James 1:19 is extremely beneficial to generating these different results:

“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.”

So, shut up, don’t act in the moment and heed advice. We are not so clever to have this entire thing sewed up. Clearly.

 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”

Proverbs 3:5-6

As messy as our lives appear to be, we could profit from some different approaches. And this issue brings up the second “job” in life: coping.

To Cope:

What a minefield we have here, huh? Yes, coping is not much of a hop, skip or jump to actual addiction.

Addiction, certainly, may have its genetic component, but that reality may lie dormant until trauma, somehow, lights the fuse.

 “Why is my pain perpetual, and my wound incurable, which refuseth to be healed?”

Jeremiah 15:18

Now we have a desperate attempt to cope with, negate and avoid pain.

“So I hated life, for the work which had been done under the sun was grievous to me; because everything is futility and striving after wind.”

Ecclesiastes 2:17

And, it’s usually not too long before we mishandle anger in this flailing coping strategy.

“For we are consumed by thine anger, and by thy wrath are we troubled.”

Psalm 90:7

Painful wounding?

Check.

Futile perception to one’s existence?

Check.

Self-destructive, frustrating and complicated anger to boot?

Check.

Things are looking absolutely fabulous for us, aren’t they?

But again, hold up! It isn’t over just yet.

Thankfully, the Most High and His Word are one and the same (John 1:1-2).

 And there is the promise of His help, even as we struggle to cope, via the addiction route.

First, He’s not shocked by our behavior, our choices and our weaknesses...

 “For He knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust.”

Psalms 103:14

He knew every detail, life event and decision which would lead to where we are now (Isaiah 46:10). He knew.

Next, He’s our loving, benevolent Father and Champion...

“Doubtless thou art our father... thou, O LORD, art our father, our redeemer; thy name is from everlasting.”

Isaiah 63:16

 “... thou art our father; we are the clay, and thou our potter; and we all are the work of thy hand.”

Isaiah 64:8

“...‘I will make all my goodness pass before thee... and will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.’”

Exodus 33:19

So, no matter what our coping experience may be, including any dysfunctional addiction, we have Someone Who is constantly loving and helping us to, in fact, cope in such a way that is healing, not harmful.

“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”

3 John 1:2

And we ALL have this. Enter equal opportunity access.

“…‘God is no respecter of persons.’”

Acts 10:34

The “Whosoever” Factor...

“For God so loved the world, he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.”

John 3:16

It doesn’t matter what kind of alienation and disenfranchisement we’ve experienced. The “Whosoever” Factor means precisely that. It’s not predicated on performance, appearance, status, color, gender or any other kind of qualifier.

John 3:16, arguably, the best- known scripture out there, is a verse which focuses on our redeeming Savior. And yes, that is powerful.

Yet, we also need to put some focus on the complete accessibility granted to anyone, to the “whosoever” characteristic mentioned within the verse. That presence, again, assures us there is an undeniable love and plan which extends beyond our finite thinking.

“The LORD hath appeared of old unto me, saying, ‘Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.’”

Jeremiah 31:3

“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”

Isaiah 41:9

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

It goes beyond Salvation; it includes, healing, help, connection and a fulfilling faith walk journey. It is available to anyone who takes the Most High God up on His offer.

We have only two jobs in life:

1)      to learn and 2) to cope.

The loving brilliance of our Heavenly Father extends an incredible job opportunity to us. Are we willing to take it?

If we incorporate the spiritual as part of our “job description,” then, perhaps, we truly will discover a richer, fuller life than we ever dreamed was possible.

It transcends learning facts and barely surviving.

It embraces a life more abundant (John 10:10)!

Copyright © 2017 by Sheryle Cruse

 

Optical Illusion: Liar?

 

Recently, on social media, I saw a brain teaser trending. It was an image that, at first glance, looked like a face. It stated, “Share when you see a word,” asking us to look beyond this face value.

And, upon doing so, at a certain angle, one can see a dotted “I” where the nose/nostril is, along with an “a” for the mouth and an “r” creating the chin and neck. And starting the entire face, there is an elaborate “L,” making up the two eyes.

So, when we spell the face, what word do we get?

Answer: liar.

The face of addiction, right there, ladies and gentlemen.

The old joke asks,

How do you tell if an addict is lying?

Answer: His/her lips are moving.

That’s some punchline truth, isn’t it?

Yes, if you and I look at any form of our addictions, we inevitably encounter the role our deception plays in their proliferation and their destruction of all we hold dear.

Scripture has much to say about truth versus lies, offering warnings and consequences about the paths we choose. And we can see those spiritual principles in the twelve steps. There’s incredible benefit in applying them should we choose to do so.

The first step confronts our powerlessness.

1.      We admitted we were powerless over our addiction - that our lives had become unmanageable.

That usually shows up as a chaotic life, also known as trouble.

“He whose tongue is deceitful falls into trouble.”

Proverbs 17:20

If the disease is our addiction, then one of the first glaring symptoms we experience is any kind of problem: relational, marital, financial, physical or legal are a few examples of reality showcasing how unmanageable our lives have become.

Therefore, cue step number two...

We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

As we’re sorting through our individual representations of trouble, we hit a reality wall of needing God. In short, we have to tell the truth to and about ourselves.

And that’s no easy feat. For, to operate in addiction, deception has become our “go-to,” rescuing us from confrontation, responsibility, failure and uncomfortable situations.

“You love evil rather than good, falsehood rather than speaking the truth.”

Psalm 52:3

But, before we fall in love with our lying ways all over again, we need to remind ourselves that our rock bottoms were all too painfully real.

We need to remember our lies got us into the mess; God and His Truth, therefore, will need to help extricate us from our various disasters.

So, we are in a moment like no other. We need to decide what to do with our addictions and our God. We need to answer a question. Will we accept or reject His intervention in our lives?

Yes...or no?

This is called a decision. It’s also called the next step. Do we take it?

3.      We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

God, by His very Nature, cannot lie (Numbers 23:19). Therefore, if we expect to bring lies and excuses instead of brutal truth before Him, we are not going to get the results we desire or need. And whatever results we DO obtain, will not be sustained.

“Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue lasts only a moment.”

Proverbs 12:19

Again, we see the protection which comes from being in the truth...

“The truth shall set you free.”

John 8:32

But that truth does not promise to be easy or painless. Often, facing truth is the hardest thing we will ever do.

This, therefore, is the work of steps four through nine...

4.      We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5.      We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6.      We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7.      We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8.      We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9.      We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

These steps are focused on changed behavior. They exchange a destructive one for a healthier one. These steps exchange lies for truth, evasiveness for transparency. The reasons for these exchanges involve the relational, human experience and our need to repair whatever damage we have caused.

“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”

Ephesians 4:25

Scripture, again, brings it home: “we are all members of one body.”

And this friendly reminder sets the stage for the purpose of the remaining steps, ten through twelve...

10.  We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.

11.  We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12.  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

We started in a place of confronting and accepting ugly truth; then, we accepted God’s help with it. Next, we needed to face and change behavior in the relational context, accepting how our addiction caused pain and destruction. Those are all important. But there’s still more work to do.

The “more” of that work refers to its ongoing nature. We need to keep doing it. What is the recovery adage?

“It works if you work it.”

Scripture, the twelve steps and truth all act as guardrails, hedging us in safely. And that is a key point to remember as we choose truth over deception. It’s more than just being a good, honest person; it is also about being a healthy, honest person.

“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity.”

Proverbs 11:3

In recovery, the expression goes, “You’re as sick as your secrets.”

And, for most of us, those secrets are some version of a lie- and some form of impending destruction.

Therefore, as we deal with our addictions and recovery from them, we need to do more than just work the steps and the reading of some Bible verses. We need to truly examine how both truth and deception operate in our lives- even to this day. Like the image brain teaser, when we study what we think we already see, is there, in fact, something quite different there?

And then, what are we going to do with that optical illusion’s actual truth?

Copyright © 2017 by Sheryle Cruse

 

The Cat is Out Of the Bag

 

While going through some of my childhood possessions, I came across something which took on a profound meaning to me: a kitten poster.

 

This was the first poster I got as a six year old. I immediately was captivated by it because of its cute factor. A small kitten, hiding in a paper bag? What’s not to love?

You know, the phrase, “the cat is out of the bag?” Well, I couldn’t deny that ditty followed me throughout my life, eating disorder shenanigans and, of course, my disclosure of and recovery from them. After all, within my book, “Thin Enough,” I wrote a poem starting the chapter on disclosure, entitled, “The Cat is Out of the Bag.”

Disclosure- it is intimidating.

Yet, sooner or later, in our lives, the cat does, indeed, get out of the bag. We hope, then, it is in a safe, loving and kind atmosphere.

Mercifully, the first significant person I voluntarily disclosed my eating disorder truth to was my wonderful husband, Russell.

He is “Exhibit A” of the ideal safe person to reveal one’s struggle.

 “... I had managed to make it through my college years without telling anyone... I was pursuing a theatre degree... It was through theatre that I met Russell...

... The prospect of someone being close enough to truly know me was scary... Moving from dating to engagement was difficult... I had yet to tell him any of what I’d experienced...  As we prepared for our wedding, I finally mentioned to him that I had a secret I wasn’t ready to share with him yet... He told me that he loved me and that it didn’t matter what it was. He didn’t pressure me to tell him. He knew there was a secret and left it at that...

...The time for truth came a couple of weeks after we were married. It was our first Thanksgiving together... We both ate our holiday feast, and I had tried not to think about all of the calories... I proceeded to exercise after the meal, trying to burn off ‘the damage.’ Russell thought this was strange and unnecessary... He told me to just relax and enjoy the day. I, of course, repeatedly told him that I couldn’t until I’d exercised. The conversation continued while I was on the stair stepper for two hours...   I was so tired of keeping this secret... The only way I could explain it was to tell him the whole story from the beginning... And so I did.

And the worst didn’t happen. He didn’t leave me, throw me out in the street, call me worthless and tell me how much he hated me. No. He looked at me, asked me, ‘This is the big secret?’ He hugged me, told me he loved me, and told me I was beautiful. I didn’t have to lie, hide, and pretend anymore in front of the man I loved...”

(Excerpt taken from Cruse’s book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder”)

For those of us struggling with addiction, disorder and compulsion, there is a disclosure moment of truth. We need to share our reality with another. It may be for a variety of reasons: to seek help and start the recovery process, to apologize for the wrongdoing and hurt we’ve caused, to reach a new level of intimacy as a significant relationship changes.

Regardless, disclosure is an important matter.

I know that, in my own situation with Russell, this was the spark which ignited John 8:32: “The truth shall set you free.”

And there is freedom within disclosure. The imprisoning secret is shattered. Its power over our lives is destroyed.

Still, with that being said, we need to, as much as possible, be thoughtful, wise and prepared when it comes to this life-altering decision. It can be damaging to reveal this most personal information to the wrong person. Therefore, we need to use discernment and prayer when we reveal ourselves- ugly truth and all- to someone.  

Some helpful question to ask include...

What are the actions this person has displayed which exemplify trustworthiness?

What are the risks of having this person know this situation?

What are the benefits of having this person know this situation?

What are the disadvantages of having this person know this situation?

I do believe, no matter how imperfect the disclosure context may be, it is worth it. “Letting the cat out of the bag” opened up everything in my life: my faith, my marriage, my creativity and my health. It was the first domino to fall when I spoke my truth.

Let’s briefly revisit the kitten poster again. Because, there is something else within the image, something which can encourage and empower us. It is the fearful kitten itself.

That is something which cannot be overlooked, especially as we face our own disclosure situations; we will be afraid. We may be terrified. We may feel, like this kitten, that we are “halfway in, halfway out” of the bag.

Therefore, above all else, in our disclosure moment, we need to remember we are not alone...

“Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.”

Isaiah 41:10

Disclosure is necessary for life, for healing and for our recovery. It is vital to reach our next level. And its rewards can be astounding.

So, is it time to let your cat out of the bag?

Copyright © 2017 by Sheryle Cruse

 

Recycled Until...

Vader Princess

The Spiritual Power In Discovering Your Audience

 

 

Coming from a theatre background, I’m no stranger to an audience.

 

“All the world's a stage... And one man in his time plays many parts...”

 

In William Shakespeare's play, “As You Like It,” Act II Scene VII, purpose-filled life is compared to that of a theatre stage.

 

How much more does that apply for those of us recovering from addiction, disorder or abuse?

 

Besides my theatre background, I also have an eating disorder history as well. In college, I battled both anorexia and bulimia.

 

Indeed, during my sophomore year, desperate in my bulimic behavior, I began to dumpster dive...

 

“... I’d try to play it off, pretending everything was normal as people passed by me scrounging in the dumpster... in broad daylight... I couldn’t hide any longer from others what I was doing... people were noticing...” *

 

 *Excerpt from Sheryle Cruse’s book, “Thin Enough: My Spiritual Journey Through the Living Death of an Eating Disorder”

 

This was an unwelcomed audience for me.

 

Nevertheless, people saw. And, no matter how I tried, I could not escape the Presence of the Most High.

 

For a long time, I fought Him.

 

Yet, after college, I hit a faith crisis. I wrestled with Elohim and He revealed I had to face my eating disorder reality.

 

 “... in the midst of all of this disorder, anger, guilt, shame, ugliness and desperation, I found myself tired and wanting Him more than anything I’d ever wanted before...

 

... I had to make a decision... I decided ‘Fine God, if others know about this, fine. I’m tired.’

...As I was lying in bed, the picture of... Jairus’ daughter flashed... I remembered…

            ‘Little girl, I say unto you, arise...’ *

 

I needed to deal with my heart issues.

 

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs 4:23

 

Still, it didn’t change daunting reality. The heart is tricky, even for the best of us.

 

               “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?”

Jeremiah 17:9

 

So, how is it even possible to deal with our issues?

 

I believe it begins when we allow a Divine search warrant to take place.

 

“Search me, O God, and know my heart;
         Try me and know my anxious thoughts;

And see if there be any hurtful way in me,
         And lead me in the everlasting way.”

Psalms 139:23-24

 

Jairus’ daughter (Mark 5:35-43) was that search warrant, in not just my eating disorder reality, but concerning my life as a whole.

 

It led me to my imperfect faith; it exposed me as vulnerable. I needed help beyond my own efforts to make anything happen.

 

“... I found a Scripture that summed up who I was and what I was going through.

 

“...I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!"”

Mark 9:24

 

That was me! I knew I couldn’t be enough, love enough, believe enough, and have faith enough unless God helped me...”*

           

At first, this realization felt paralyzing. And then, there was peace. I had to surrender; the Most High God is in control and I was not.

 

“…I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, 'My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.' From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do.”

Isaiah 46:9-11

 

Before the faith-changing revelation of Jairus’ daughter and Mark 9:24, I believed no good could come from my eating disorder reality. I hid, lied and ran away from it. I believed facing it, owning it and then sharing it with others was the worst-case scenario.

 

Yet, only when I reluctantly uttered, ‘Fine God, if others know about this, fine,’ did I cross from oppression to freedom...from wounding to healing.

 

“‘Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’.”

John 8:32

 

It’s been years since my book was published. And, as I have faced and shared my once taboo eating disorder history, Elohim has helped me to experience greater healing. I have discovered commonality. It shattered the lie: I was not alone.

And neither are you.

No matter the trauma, addiction, pain or circumstance, there is a glory to come from it. You may be mired in a deep pit right now. This, however, is not the end of you.

Instead, “The Great I AM” has you positioned at a new place of blessings.

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Isaiah 43:19

And that includes the audience you are meant to inspire and help.

“All the world's a stage...”

 

So what are you to do with yours?

The Creator of all has astounding things ahead for your life.

“... Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have...”

1 Peter 3:15

 

Will you take the stage?

Copyright © 2017 by Sheryle Cruse