The Big Dress

When I saw this image of Grace Jones I laughed an amen laugh.

It didn’t appear to me to be simply exaggerated fashion; it felt like a universal female truth. Living in this image based culture, it’s probably a safe bet to say that there has been at least one dress which has plagued us. It may be the pressure of fitting into that dream prom dress. It may be the fairytale torture known as finding that perfect wedding dress to transform us into the bride to end all brides. It may also be any variety of special occasion dress: the high school reunion show stopper, the charity ball evening gown, created to dazzle or the pageant dress, guaranteeing us a tiara on our head. The dress. The notorious, nail biting, nerve-wrecking, insanity creating dress. Been there? If not, be patient, you will be. You probably will get there sooner than you think. There have been a lot of desperate diets and exercise regimes plotted, all in the name of the big dress. We push, pull, cinch, torture, starve and manipulate ourselves into all kinds of predicaments. I certainly have had my share. Like when I was a bridesmaid at my cousin’s wedding. “...I really started obsessing the two weeks prior to the wedding. Looking back on my diary entries, I wrote a repetitive string of comments like, ‘I’m not going to eat today or tomorrow,’ and ‘I can’t blow it now. I’m so close.’ ... ...At 82 pounds, I tried on the dress and discovered that’s all it was—just a dress. Yes, it was hanging on me, but it didn’t really mean anything anymore. I was too exhausted for it to mean anything to me. I had to pin the sides of the dress with safety pins. It was hanging off from my 20-inch waist (18 inches, if I held in my breath)... ...People stammered things like, ‘Sheryle, you look, pretty’ and ‘My, you’re thin. I didn’t recognize you.’ They obviously felt uncomfortable saying it. A guy cousin of mine said something like, ‘Man, you’re thin,’ (two beats of awkward silence), ‘but—you—you look—good.’ He said it to me like I was in danger of dying right there. It was a long day. I focused most of my concentration on just staying vertical and not fainting. I had accomplished my goal; I was skinny for this wedding. I was just too exhausted and hollow to enjoy it… And this time, I definitely had no control over what was happening.” All over a big dress. And that obsession was only compounded when it came to my wedding dress. Although I was no longer at that bridesmaid low weight, I was still obsessed with everything I put in my mouth two weeks, leading up to my “big day.” Have you been there and done that? What have you done to manipulate yourself into that big dress of your own? Are you and I simply dieting or are we worshipping an idol? It’s a slippery slope. Diets tend to start out innocently enough. “I’ll just lose five pounds.” But how many of us struggling with disordered eating, find out, only all too late, that the simple diet has become the torturous, hard taskmaster? Eating disorders “suddenly” appear from nowhere, stealing so much from our lives. But they didn’t happen overnight. No, it’s more insidious than that. We warned to stay vigilant against subtle lies and attacks which can sneak up on us all too quickly: “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 That includes eating disorders; no one is immune. It can all start with a thought. One thought. And that one though leads to another thought which eventually leads us astray. So, what are we thinking? Is the big dress, the big thing or the big image becoming too big in our lives? Has it become God? If so, that’s idolatry. No golden calf being worshipped, but something is, isn’t it? We’re spiritual beings, loved and created by A God for relationship with Him. Accept no substitutes. These substitutes never work, anyway. Like my bridesmaid dress, when I put it on, it didn’t magically perfect my life and make me blissfully happy. It was just a dress; it couldn’t save me. What are you and I counting on to save us? If it’s idols, we’ll only be disappointed, at best, and destroyed, at worst. “What profiteth the graven image that the maker thereof hath graven it; the molten image, and a teacher of lies, that the maker of his work trusteth therein, to make dumb idols? Woe unto him that saith to the wood, Awake; to the dumb stone, Arise, it shall teach! Behold, it is laid over with gold and silver, and there is no breath at all in the midst of it.” Habakkuk 2:18-19 “Their sorrows shall be multiplied that hasten after another god...” Psalms16:4 All because we conformed to an idol? However, what’s the damage done to our psyches? It’s sobering to think about how easily our hearts can grab onto idols. And it’s sobering to see what heart damage can come from those idols: addictions, compulsions and disorders. Issues. “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23 But thankfully, we can go to God with those issues… “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Romans 12:2 The dress is just a dress; the thing is just a thing. But God is the most high God, Who loves us and has the power to bless us beyond measure. “For they themselves shew of us what manner of entering in we had unto you, and how ye turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God;” 1 Thessalonians 1:9 Can we conform to that instead? Can we rethink what we’re thinking? It’s worth thinking about. The dress or the thing we’re focusing on will come and go. What will remain? It’s to our advantage to have that be God. Plus, that reality fits us better than anything else, clothes included,ever could. Copyright © 2012 by Sheryle Cruse