The Power of No

The disease to please. Ever hear that expression? It’s especially epidemic for us as women. We’re taught as little girls to be pleasing and agreeable. And that can translate into eating disorders and addictions for a lot of us. We stuff, hide, deny our true feelings, fearing the displeasure if we should ever entertain saying “no,” while, perhaps, choosing a self-destructive vice to soothe ourselves and cope. One little word: no. But that little word contains a lot of power- and maybe even healing? I recently came across this assertiveness training chart. How many of us, indeed, were taught anything positive about asserting ourselves? (I hear crickets). God never calls us to be doormats, incapable of turning down other peoples’ requests. Most of us are already taxed emotionally, spiritually and financially. Plus, if we think about it, we’re the ones who are giving more thought- more power- to the often times imaginary negative consequences. By saying no, people may not be thrilled with that answer, but, most of the time, they will move on and ask someone else, end of story. No muss, no fuss. It is us, however, who seem to be doing a lot more fussing, all because why? We aren’t good little girls? We aren’t pleasing? We aren’t sacrificing our feelings for someone else’s wants? Again, most people move on from a “no,” whatever that “no” may be. And we’ve opened a space for ourselves to say “yes” to something we truly want. It’s not bad; it’s not selfish. It’s even a Godly principle. “Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?” 1 Corinthians 3:16 We are being good stewards, choosing health and order over overwhelming chaos and stuffed emotions. “Let all things be done decently and in order.” 1 Corinthians 14:40 Nothing everything is for us. It doesn’t make a request evil. It just may not be a good fit for our lives at that moment. “All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.” 1 Corinthians 10:23 “All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.” 1 Corinthians 6:12 But there’s no good in condemning ourselves for saying “no” when “yes” was the desired response. “Yes” will always be the desired response when someone wants something. There’s no mystery there. Choose to be empowered. God will help guide you if something is not right for your life. God won’t condemn you for saying “no.” Why not do likewise concerning yourself? Be a good steward; the “no” word is a part of that stewardship! Empower yourself by saying it as you need to! Copyright © 2013 by Sheryle Cruse