Spelling Believe

If you’re a recovering perfectionist like me, you may be frustrated with who- and where you are in your life right now. Questions like, “why aren’t I (fill in the blank)?” or “when will I ever get there?” may be rolling around in your brain. Ah yes, negative self-talk. And this time of year is the perfect time for that kind of negative chatter: New Year’s, with all of its promised- and- on- the- way- to- be- broken resolutions.

Years ago, the scripture Mark 9:24 helped me so much as I struggled and doubted not just myself, but my own faith in God. It was simple, real and to the point:

“Lord, I believe. Help Thou my unbelief.”

A zinger- and a sentence which changed my life!

But, much like the excitement around making a New Year’s resolution, after the thrilling dust of that impact settled, tedious life came into the picture with not as much dramatic evidence of powerful transformation as I would have liked. Nope. I wanted “presto, change-o;” God wanted my trust, a slower, gradual, deep kind of thing, built up over time. A long time. A long, long time. Years.

Enter the next little scripture ditty:

“But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.”

2 Corinthians 3:18

Yeah, somehow, this one wasn’t quite as thrilling as Mark 9:24. And that was the mistake on my part. It wasn’t grabbing onto the scriptures that was the problem. The scriptures are Truth, relevant and powerful. The issue was affixing my impatient “quicker than a microwave popping out popcorn” expectations to them. It’s just like the instant promising lie of a kept resolution, huh? Classic. And I fell for it. I wanted things done in my timing not God’s timing. Because my timing was such great hot stuff, right?

Yeah.

And so, my little noggin ran away with the thought, “it’s not working.” Are you thinking that about your own resolutions, however successfully kept they may be? I just couldn’t seem to make the connection that God had a much better handle on me, on my life and the situations going on than I did. I was too busy… with what? With my study of God’s Word and will? Nope. With the study and the practice of being more patient with the process? Nope again.

So, what was the deal?

Me, me, me. That’s what I was so busy with. That was the deal; that was the problem. And that was part of what was blinding me to my ability to believe- or at least blinding me to a healthier perception of believing, anyway.

Again, classic.

I mentioned the microwave earlier. In popular culture today, the word “microwave” doesn’t just refer to the oven that’s in most homes; it refers to instantaneous results which require no time, no waiting and no patience. Hurry up! Hurry up!

(I hear that Queen song of the same sentiment playing in my head).

“I want it all. I want it all. I want it all. And I want it now!”

But faith, perseverance, belief, recovery and life are all about being actively in process. All of these things are ongoing, living organisms. They’re alive. We, as human beings, often have a way of creating what we believe, for good-or not so good.

“…Because of your faith, it will happen."

Matthew 9:29

Yikes!

This new year, are you in process or have you, instead, imposed an oppressive, perfectionistic and harmful deadline on yourself? An impossible resolution? There are even those of us in eating disorder and addiction recovery process who just transfer the same perfectionistic tendencies which got us mired in our struggles into our actual recovery. There is no such thing as a perfect recovery; there is no such thing as a perfect life! All of us fall short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23)!

We will blow it. It’s not a case of “if,” but “when.” But God knows this- and He still is calling us to believe, nevertheless.

“As soon as Jesus heard the word that was spoken, he saith unto the ruler of the synagogue, Be not afraid, only believe.”

Mark 5:36

“… ‘Fear not: believe only...’”

Luke 8:50

Just because we don’t see something we want instantly happening, doesn’t mean the entire thing is hopeless. What if it was all just simply “in process?”

Maybe, right now, the word “believe” isn’t spelled out completely, satisfying our wishes for a brand new perfect life in this brand new year. But believing is powerful. And what we put our attention to is powerful. What do you want to believe? The best or the worst?

God has not- and will not- give up on you as you’re going through your life, trying to spell everything out.

God is on your side!

“What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?”

Romans 8:31

Choose then to tweak your believing. Instead of believing that you have to be perfect, that you’re hopeless or that “it’s never going to happen,” believe that you are getting there, with God’s help every step- and breath- of the way!

You’re in process; faith is being spelled out for you and indeed, you are going “from glory to glory.” And this new year is, indeed, a part of that process.

No microwave required. Only God.

Copyright © 2014 by Sheryle Cruse