Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Ego Versus Soul
I recently
came across a little gem about the ego and the soul.
It’s quite profound.
It states things like…
“Ego looks outward. Soul looks
inward.”
“Ego sees lack. Soul sees abundance.”
According to one definition of the word, soul is
comprised of the mind, the will and the emotions. So, it stands to reason soul
would be quite vulnerable to disease. Indeed, there is a battle going on.
And, let’s
get real- a large part of that battle involves the toxic pride factor.
“Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before
a fall.”
Proverbs 16:18
“For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the
lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the
world.”
1 John 2:16
And that
pride rubs shoulders with rebellious foolishness.
“The fool hath said in his heart,
‘There is no God.’ They are corrupt, they have done abominable works, there is
none that doeth good.”
Psalms 14:1
And yes,
that goes for even us Christians.
It’s not about being a good little boy or girl
in the pews on Sunday. Instead, it has everything
to do with the very real, very rebellious, prideful and diseased thoughts
which have ensnared us in affliction. Saying “no” when we should say “yes.”
As is echoed
in the “Ego Versus Soul” post…
“Ego rejects God. Soul embraces God.”
Again,
profound.
And, while
we may nod our heads in agreement with that statement, do we really examine any
rebelliousness lurking in our tricky hearts?
After all,
we’re not above being deceived…
“The heart is deceitful above all
things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Jeremiah 17:9
For, once
upon a time, there was a certain rebel who let some audacious, prideful
attitudes rip.
“And he said unto them, ‘I beheld Satan as lightning fall
from heaven.’”
Luke 10:18
"But you said in your heart, 'I will ascend to heaven; I
will raise my throne above the stars of God, And I will sit on the mount of
assembly In the recesses of the north. I will ascend above
the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.'”
Isaiah 14:13-14
And here
were the consequences:
"…you will be thrust down to
Sheol, To the recesses of the pit.”
Isaiah 14:15
“How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the
dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations!”
Isaiah 14:12
“‘Thy terribleness hath deceived thee, and the pride of thine
heart, O thou that dwellest in the clefts of the rock, that holdest the height
of the hill: though thou shouldest make thy nest as high as the eagle, I will
bring thee down from thence,’ saith the LORD.”
Jeremiah 49:16
So, one can
argue if we do not embrace God and His perspective, we’re, therefore, embracing
this guy’s attitude instead.
“For where envy and
self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there.”
James 3:16
Are you
squirming yet?
You may
think I’m being over the top here. But is it really such an astounding leap?
After all,
Jesus, Himself, said, “You are either for or against me.”
(Matthew
12:30; Luke 11:23).
Addiction,
like it or not, has some rather unflattering roots in pride, envy and self-
interest, hence the ego. And, many of us have the wreckage to prove it: hurt
loved ones, lost careers, jeopardized health, financial and legal issues. The
list goes on.
But the
soul…
“In whose hand is the soul of every living thing, and the
breath of all mankind.”
Job 12:10
“Truly my soul waiteth
upon God: from him cometh my salvation.”
Psalms 62:1
“For thou hast
delivered my soul from death, mine eyes from tears, and my feet from falling.”
Psalms 116:8
“Wherefore let them
that suffer according to the will of God commit the keeping of their souls to
him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.”
1 Peter 4:19
But there IS,
indeed, some good news concerning our souls; God is not us.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways my
ways, says the Lord. For as the
heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My
thoughts than your thoughts.”
Isaiah 55:8-9
So, because
of those different perspectives, our thoughts not necessarily being those of
God’s, we need to intentionally approach Him with a different response that the
rebellious choices which have landed us where we are.
Enter the favorite
recovery word, surrender…and its corresponding steps, such as…
1.
We admitted we
were powerless over a substance or behavior - that our lives had become
unmanageable.
- We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
- We made a decision to turn our will and our lives
over to the care of God as we understood Him.
- We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of
ourselves.
- We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another
human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
- We were entirely ready to have God remove all these
defects of character.
- We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
All of that
flies in the face of rebellious ego. But man,
does it ever harmonize with soul!
One of my
favorite quotes is from C. S. Lewis:
“You don't have a soul. You are a
Soul. You have a body.”
Again,
returning to our definition of soul, that of our mind, will and emotions, we
are, therefore, challenged to utilize those three components toward, not away
from, God. No easy feat. Often, it’s not fun. Let’s just get real about it.
Yet, there
is a more fulfilling, healthier path is choosing that direction.
“Trust in the Lord
with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways
acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
There is a
question being asked of us. Our response is needed.
Which one do
we choose to pursue, especially concerning our recovery?
Is it the ego? Or is it the soul?
Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse
You can call me Flower
Spring
always puts me in the mood to watch the animated Disney classic, “Bambi.” I
admit it, I’m a sucker for those cute little critters. I have a soft spot for
Flower, the bashful skunk who befriends our famous deer. I think my favorite
scene in the movie is when these two characters encounter each other for the
first time, hanging out in a flower patch. Ever the curious and constantly
learning fawn, Bambi is in the middle of learning about his environment. He
just recently learned the names a butterfly and a flower. And that brings us
back to our cute little skunk. Upon bumping into Flower, nose to nose, Bambi,
with great joy and enthusiasm, blurts, “Flower!”
Thumper, a
rabbit character friend to our lead critter, cracks up at this “mistaken
identity,” immediately trying to set Bambi straight. But he doesn’t get to
finish his statement, as our cute skunk interjects, “He can call me Flower if he
wants to. I don’t mind.”
Awwwh!
Adorable.
And so, from
that point on, our little aromatic friend is christened, “Flower.”
Think of how
much easier it would be if we, male or female, could see ourselves as special
and beautiful flowers. Yet how many of us struggle to see our valuable
identity, as cherished creations of an incredible God?
Most of us
do not see, let alone, feel, we are, indeed, like the beautiful flowers popping
up everywhere in spring. Most of us don’t feel special in our lives. And because
of those negative feelings, self-destructive behaviors like eating disorders,
self-injury and substance abuse come in to try to mask and soothe our wounds.
We believe the lie and then spend all of our energy, time and thought into
rejecting our natural state: beautiful and wonderful. The low self- esteem,
with all of its torturous lies, becomes the dominant image. Scripture reminds
us of the power of our self-perception in Proverbs 23:7:
“For as he thinketh in his heart, so
is he...”
But God doesn’t
just leave us with that potentially dismal revelation, with no image to draw
from. No. Instead, He, repeatedly, tells us who we are. But it’s up to us to believe or reject that information.
And yes, throughout scripture, God frequently links us to such beautiful
creations, like doves and flowers. Just check out the Song of Solomon.
“I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys...”
Song of Solomon2: 1-2
“O my dove…let me see your form…for your form is lovely.”
Song of Solomon 2:14
Known as the
book in the Bible, depicting a love relationship between two besotted young
lovers, it’s also regarded as the relationship between us and God. God is the lovesick
groom, passionately pursuing His beloved bride. And yes, it gets pretty steamy.
But, the
overall tone of the book is how God views us. Just look how He speaks to us!
“Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.”
Song of Solomon 4:7
“Thou art beautiful, O my love...”
Song of Solomon 6:4
So, by this
revelation, why can’t we see ourselves as the incredible, beautiful, wonderful
creation God has purposed us to be? It’s nothing we need to do, to acquire our value;
there’s nothing we can do to make God love us. Our special uniqueness and love
from God are already there!
You may not
have had the experience of seeing yourself as a beautiful flower in your life.
You may not have had the experience of feeling valuable, wonderful, and
precious. Perhaps things like abuse, bullying and trauma have struck your life.
I am so sorry for your suffering, that you were denied those assurances; you
deserve to know and feel how special you are- especially, how special you are
to God.
But you can choose to see yourself differently
today. You can choose to agree with God’s view of you. Again, it’s who you already are. There’s nothing you can do
to acquire your worth and loveable standing. No eating disorder, no behavior, no
material possession and no amount of money, achievement or status can create
your value. It’s redundant. You’re valuable as is. You already are this!
“…Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not,
neither do they spin: And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his
glory was not arrayed like one of these. Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass
of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, shall he not
much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?”
Matthew
6:28-30
And, if you
can’t quite “get there” yet, you can start, right now, with your faith and
build upon it. Daily affirmations have become more of the rage recently in
positive thinking and achieving results. Why not, then, apply God’s Word, to
yourself, as the ultimate
affirmation?
“As the heavens are higher than the
earth, so are my ways higher than your ways
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
As the rain and the snow come down from heaven,
and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,
so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.”
Isaiah 55:9-11
You may not
be there yet, but are, indeed, going “from glory to glory” (2
Corinthians 3:18). Don’t give up on yourself. Allow God’s Word to seep
into you; allow it to reveal your true identity!
Your life
experience may have left you feeling like an unwanted skunk, but I believe,
with God, you can experience your true, incredible identity. And I believe it
will only be a matter of time before you, yourself, repeat our favorite little
skunk’s word:
“You can call me Flower
if you want to. I don’t mind.”
Be blessed
and blooming in every area of your
life!
Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse
Self-Sabotage: Return To the Vomit?
“I’m my own
worst enemy.”
Ever utter
those words?
Chances are,
at different points in our lives, we will do our own unique versions of
self-destruction. We self-sabotage. It’s not necessarily because we want to
ruin our lives.
Perhaps,
rather, it’s because we want to control
them.
Wonderful,
here we go!
And, for
those of us in recovery: alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, shopping, anything
under the sun, really, it seems to be all in a day’s work. What’s the famous slogan?
“Relapse is a part of the recovery process.”
Oh, good, so
let’s do some recovering then.
Scripture
illustrates the relapse/self-sabotage principle long before any 12 Step
Programs or support groups were formed.
“As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly.”
Proverbs 26:11
Lovely.
My husband
and I don’t have dogs; we have cats. And so, I understand this Proverb in real life
feline terms. With our cats, there are hairballs, usually coughed up at two in
the morning. I should know because that’s usually the time I’m awakened to that
one of a kind retching sound. Either that, or I step in it when I get up hours
later. Both are fun options, let me tell you.
Nevertheless,
on more occasions than I care to experience, our cats, if left to their own
devices, will eventually attempt to consume
their just regurgitated hairballs.
Pleasant.
It sounds
gross, barbaric and pointless to us, doesn’t it? After all, this hairball,
supposedly, was giving the cats enough trouble for them to vomit it up in the first place, right? Why go back to
square one?
Is anyone
recognizing themselves yet? I know I am.
To start,
there’s an independent streak, usually very contrary to most 12 Step Principles
like…
“We admitted we
were powerless over a substance - that our lives had become unmanageable.”
“We admitted to God, to
ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.”
“We humbly asked Him to remove
our shortcomings.”
Pretty
straightforward and thorough, isn’t it?
But is it fun and gratifying to our will and cravings?
Eh, not so much. We tend to insist on a declaration of our own little
independence, don’t we?
That often involves such great decision makers like pride, isolation and excess.
So, let’s see what might happen with these approaches.
First, there’s pride.
“Pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a
fall.”
Proverbs 16:18
We’re not the first to dawn upon that cute notion. In fact, it goes back a
little ways, beyond a decade or even a century. Try a real-l-l-l-y long time
ago, with one particular little fella.
“And he said unto them, ‘I beheld Satan as lightning fall
from heaven.’”
Luke 10:18
“How you have fallen from heaven, morning star, son of the
dawn! You have been cast down to the earth, you who once laid low the nations!”
Isaiah 14:12
Oh, good, this will go great.
Indeed, Humpty Dumpty had a great
fall. But it wasn’t without cause. You see, Satan thought he could do things
all by himself. He could be just like God. No problem, right?
But there was a problem, a big
old independent pride of a problem. And Satan, therefore, got puffed up, greedy
and grabby.
"But you said in your heart, 'I will ascend to heaven; I
will raise my throne above the stars of God, And I will sit on the mount of
assembly In the recesses of the north. I will ascend above
the heights of the clouds; I will make myself like the Most High.'”
Isaiah 14:13-14
Uh-Oh.
And then there followed God’s “nevertheless” response to that attitude…
"Nevertheless you will be thrust
down to Sheol, To the recesses of the pit.”
Isaiah 14:15
Yeah, that’s not good…
"Those who see you will gaze at
you, They will ponder over you, saying, 'Is this the man who made the earth
tremble, Who shook kingdoms?’”
Isaiah 14:16
So much for big, bad and independent, huh?
It’s not about calling ourselves Satan. It is, however,
about recognizing the slippery slope of willfulness…stubbornness…pride…independent
arrogance… and a great big fall.
We’re all capable of that. How many “rock bottoms,”
really, have you and I already lived through? Do we really want to take another swan dive?
But, I guess, a-diving we often go, employing good ‘ole
isolation to the stubborn mess.
Whether we want to indulge our cravings or are ashamed of
that indulgence (or both), many of us decide we need to drop off the planet and
self-medicate/party. We stop talking to our loved ones. We can stop going to
meetings, calling our sponsors and going to church, school and work.
Scripture, as usual, provides its perspective on this
tactic:
“A man who isolates himself seeks his
own desire;
He rages against all wise judgment.”
He rages against all wise judgment.”
Proverbs 18:1
What’s the opposite of wise? Foolish.
But, c’mon, we reason such things as…
“This is fun.”
“It’s only one
time.”
“I have this
under control.”
“I’ll get back on the horse Monday morning.”
“Besides, no one
understands my pain or what I’m going through.”
Said any of these gems? I have. Yet, they never work;
they never fix anything. And, eventually, we’re wallowing in situations that
went way further than we ever expected they would. That’s what sin does.
Yay.
But it’s not
about condemnation, because, after all…
“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in
Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.”
Romans 8:1
Yet there’s
also a reality check side to the condemnation issue. And again, it deals with
our flawed selves. Check out this little ditty:
“And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the
world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were
evil.”
John 3:19
It’s not flattering.
I know, at different times, I’ve been in a critical moment of decision: should
I indulge in my own way here and now or choose the healthier approach of going
to a support group meeting, calling someone, going to church or, heck, even
praying? Unfortunately, I’ve occasionally chosen the first option, even when I
“knew better,” even when I glimpsed the consequences of that less than healthy
choice.
Why did I do
this? Well, Paul says it much better than I EVER could:
“For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to
do, that I do not practice: but what I hate, that I do.”
Romans 7:15
Thanks,
Paul.
And that’s
where the healing of supportive people comes in. After all, if God stated being
alone wasn’t good for us, why would that change?
“And the LORD God said, ‘It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an
help meet for him.’”
Genesis 2:18
Now, I know
this scripture is trotted out when it comes to finding a spouse and that’s a
part of it.
But it also
speaks to the connection- the communion- with supportive loving people in our
lives. They can be in recovery groups and churches; they can be sponsors. But
the common denominator is that they have to be individuals outside of our “me, myself and I” tendencies.
God didn’t
create hermits. We do that to
ourselves. And there’s no blessing to that decision, only more delusion,
deception and destruction. We cannot go it alone.
And let’s
not forget, we still have the pursuit of our cravings. We are often captivated
by excess. We want to be with our chosen binges and diseases, don’t we? Again,
we’re cautioned not to do that…
“Do not join those who drink too much wine or gorge
themselves on meat.”
Proverbs 23:20
"Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with
carousing, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on
you suddenly like a trap.
Luke 21:34
But those
cautions aren’t so much fun. They aren’t attractive, compelling, glimmering
with our God substitute of an answer to pain, stress and life. Indulgence is
more of a party than self-control.
And, because
God is a good God, yes, He has given us the capacity for that attribute.
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love,
joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and
self-control. Against such things there is no law.”
Galatians 5:22-23
We just need
to put it into practice.
“This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and
ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”
Galatians 5:16
And c’mon, we view the word “practice” as
work, not fun, right?
Nevertheless,
it is possible. We just need to remember,
it’s not about our strength or
brilliant ideas. We know what some of those things can do. Self-control is tied
to God.
“I am the vine; you are the branches.
If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you
can do nothing.”
John 15:5
Whether it is
stumbling blocks of pride, isolation or excess, God still wants to be in our
lives and recovery programs; He wants to instruct and guide us.
“I will instruct you
and teach you in the way you should go: I will guide you with My eye.”
Psalm 32:8
“Your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, ‘This is the
way, walk in it, whenever you turn to the right hand, and whenever turn to the
left.’”
Isaiah 30:21
Often, God
is not even saying something super spiritual to us. It could be “Go to a
meeting,” “Call your sponsor,” “Don’t shop on the internet,” or “Put that drink
down.”
In that
moment, it often comes down to a question: do we trust God?
“Trust in the Lord
with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways
acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
That
question is not easy to answer. Neither is recovery. Let’s get real- often, it
feels like a war.
“But I see a different law in the
members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a
prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. Wretched man that I am!
Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus
Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the
law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.”
Romans 7:23-25
But we’re
not alone in that war. God is there.
And He’s making a way…
“Therefore let him who thinks he stands take heed that he
does not fall. No temptation has overtaken you but such as is
common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond
what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also,
so that you will be able to endure it.”
1 Corinthians 10:12-13
One day at a
time, in the moment…
And, even
it’s a “relapse kind of moment,” God is still there, able to handle it:
“Behold, I am the Lord,
the God of all flesh. Is there anything too hard for Me?”
Jeremiah 32:27
He doesn’t
want to punish us or beat us up.
“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the
Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”
Jeremiah 29:11
We need to
stop doing it, then, to ourselves. God wants us to see there’s another way from
the options we’re unsuccessfully pursuing. He’s faithful to meet us right where
we are.
And He’s
equipped us with practical recovery tools. Support groups, sponsors, recovery
meetings and healthy coping strategies are just a few of those options. They
can be secular in nature sometimes, but once God is at the center, they become
Godly.
You and I don’t have to return to the vomit. God has better for us.
Wherever we are on the relapse/recovery grid, we need to remember God
desires to love us, meet us and help us. Let’s accept the grace, start again if
we need to and leave the vomit where it belongs: in the past.
Copyright © 2019 by
Sheryle Cruse
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