Sunday, November 30, 2014
Saturday, November 29, 2014
No During Holidays
As we get
closer and closer to Christmas, the anxiety levels seem to amp up. Or am I the
only one feeling it? We’re inundated with Christmas spirit, family, obligations
and all manner of “should’s.” Festive, isn’t it?
And it’s
during this time, fear, guilt, regret and resentment come hurdling toward us. A
running thought is whatever we do or don’t do, “it’s not good enough.”
Again,
festive.
So, I’ve
become quite aware of an important holiday word. Perhaps you’ve heard of it?
No.
Not snow.
Not ho, as in ho, ho, ho. No.
The
holidays- let get real- are just too much. Too much food, too much lights, too
much decoration, too much activities, too much expectations, too much
stimulation, too much stuff. And it all demands we say “yes” to it.
And, in
doing so, we are anything but merry.
So, this
holiday, let’s give a different kind of gift- the gift of no. It, perhaps,, is
not the most noble or fuzzy choice, but it’s still very much an acceptable one
for each one of us.
We have limits,
even concerning Christmas and everything surrounding it. God knows this
already.
“For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust.”
Psalms 103:14
It’d
probably be a great idea if we remembered the same.
We need to
keep in mind the people pleasing thing running amuck, driving us into some kind
of emotional, physical or spiritual ground. It’s okay. If no one has told you
that already, please let me be the one to tell you now.
It’s okay.
You have permission to say no. The world will not end.
I love the
advice from NEDIC, advising eating disorder sufferers on how to navigate the
stressful holiday season. Here are a few of their tips. I believe they work for
us all:
Predict high stress
times and places; decide which events you will and won't attend, and plan to
have some time to yourself to restore yourself and take care of your own needs.
Predict which people might make you most
uncomfortable and plan appropriate ways of excusing yourself from their
company.
Predict negative thoughts that you might
have during the holidays, and practice thinking differently.
Carry with you a list of phone numbers of
friends and crisis lines, and a list of self-soothing activities.
It may be helpful to
realize that the "picture-book" holiday sense is not a reality for
many people. Some cannot afford it, there are many single people who are not
close to their families or do not have a family, and there are many families
that do not fit into the dominant cultural model of "family." Do not
blame yourself for family or friendship conflicts. People are not different
during the holidays than any other time of the year. Remember that you are
responsible only for your own actions and for taking care of yourself.
“No” is not
an ungodly word. It can, however, be a way to steward your temple, your life,
taking care of a precious vessel God needs very much in this world.
Again, it’s
okay. Say no if you need to.
And
remember…
God bless,
have a wonderful and guilt-free holiday season!
Copyright © 2014 by
Sheryle Cruse
|
To Steward Your Temple
“Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that
God's Spirit lives in you?”
1 Corinthians 3:16
In today’s world, there’s increasing
emphasis on personal care. There’s now more ways to groom ourselves; the term,
“metrosexual” even describes men who pay attention to this level of detailed
grooming. All manner of waxing, shaving, manicures and pedicures now exists
between both sexes.
1 Corinthians 3:16, in the name of
this all important personal care issue, has been paraphrased as we are
repeatedly told our bodies are temples. Yes, they are.
And we are told the benefit of being
good stewards:
“Whoever can be trusted with very little can
also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also
be dishonest with much.”
Luke
16:10
When it comes to our bodies, the
benefit of that stewardship is good health, strength and, of course, feeling
good.
So, yes, fitness and nutrition are
important. That involves regular exercise and healthy eating. But even those
good practices can be overdone. When it becomes obsessive or compulsive
behavior and thought, hallmarks of
disordered eating, it then goes from healthy to harmful.
There are a wide variety of eating
disorders out there; anorexia and bulimia are the mostly widely known and
reported. However, one of the more recently discovered of these disorders is
that of “orthorexia.”
What
are the Signs and Symptoms of Orthorexia?
Orthorexia is the term for a condition that
includes symptoms of obsessive behavior in pursuit of a healthy diet.
Orthorexia sufferers often display signs and symptoms of anxiety disorders that
frequently co-occur with anorexia nervosa or other eating disorders.
A person with
orthorexia will be obsessed with defining and maintaining the perfect diet,
rather than an ideal weight. She will fixate on eating foods that give her a
feeling of being pure and healthy. An orthorexic may avoid numerous foods,
including those made with:
·
Artificial
colors, flavors or preservatives
·
Pesticides
or genetic modification
·
Fat,
sugar or salt
·
Animal
or dairy products
·
Other
ingredients considered to be unhealthy
Common behavior
changes that may be signs of orthorexia may include:
·
Obsessive
concern over the relationship between food choices and health concerns such as
asthma, digestive problems, low mood, anxiety or allergies
·
Increasing
avoidance of foods because of food allergies, without medical advice
·
Noticeable
increase in consumption of supplements, herbal remedies or probiotics /
macrobiotics
·
Drastic
reduction in opinions of acceptable food choices, such that the sufferer may
eventually consume fewer than 10 foods
·
Irrational
concern over food preparation techniques, especially washing of food or
sterilization of utensils
Similar to a
woman suffering with bulimia or anorexia, a woman with orthorexia may find that
her food obsessions begin to hinder everyday activities. Her strict rules and
beliefs about food may lead her to become socially isolated, and result in
anxiety or panic attacks in extreme cases. Worsening emotional symptoms can
indicate the disease may be progressing into a serious eating disorder:
·
Feelings
of guilt when deviating from strict diet guidelines
·
Increase
in amount of time spent thinking about food
·
Regular
advance planning of meals for the next day
·
Feelings
of satisfaction, esteem, or spiritual fulfillment from eating
"healthy"
·
Thinking
critical thoughts about others who do not adhere to rigorous diets
·
Fear
that eating away from home will make it impossible to comply with diet
·
Distancing
from friends or family members who do not share similar views about food
·
Avoiding
eating food bought or prepared by others
·
Worsening
depression, mood swings or anxiety
What
are the Effects of Orthorexia?
Orthorexia
symptoms are serious, chronic, and go beyond a lifestyle choice. Obsession with
healthy food can progress to the point where it crowds out other activities and
interests, impairs relationships, and even becomes physically dangerous. When
this happens, orthorexia takes on the dimensions of a true eating disorder such
as anorexia or bulimia. One effect of this drive to eat only the right foods
(and perhaps only in the right ways) is that it can give a person with
orthorexia a sense of superiority to others. This can put a strain on
relationships with family and friends, as relationships become less important
than holding to dietary patterns.
Maintaining an
obsession with health food may cause a restriction of calories merely because
available food isn't considered to be good enough. The person with orthorexia
may lose enough weight to give her a body mass index consistent with someone
with anorexia (i.e., less than 18.5). If the dietary restrictions are too
severe, malnutrition can result. In rare cases, particularly in the case of
women with unaddressed co-occurring disorders or another addiction, orthorexia
may result in severe malnutrition and weight loss, which can cause cardiac
complications or even death.
How
are Anorexia Nervosa and Orthorexia Similar?
Orthorexia is a
term with varying levels of acceptance in the eating disorder treatment community.
Some eating disorder specialists regard orthorexia as a discrete diagnosis like
anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa. Others, however, believe that patients
with orthorexia symptoms are actually suffering from anorexia. Sufferers of
orthorexia and anorexia may show similarities such as:
·
Desire
to achieve control over their lives through control of food intake
·
Seeking
self-esteem and spiritual fulfillment through controlling food intake
·
Citing
undiagnosed food allergies as rationale for avoiding food
·
Co-occurring
disorders such as OCD or obsessive compulsive personality disorder
·
Elaborate
rituals about food that may result in social isolation
How
are Orthorexia and Anorexia Nervosa Different?
Obsession with
weight is one of the primary signs of anorexia, bulimia, and other eating
disorders, but is not a symptom of orthorexia. Instead, the object of the
orthorexic's obsession is with the health implications of their dietary
choices. While a person with anorexia restricts food intake in order to lose weight,
a person with orthorexia wants to feel pure, healthy and natural. The focus is
on quality of foods consumed rather than quantity.
Signs and
symptoms of eating disorders must be evaluated in the context of a person's
feelings, emotions, and self esteem. It's crucial to seek appropriate clinical
advice from a professional with experience treating orthorexia, anorexia and
other psychiatric conditions. The obsessive tendencies associated with
orthorexia can indicate a co-occurring disorder that should be diagnosed and
treated by a psychiatrist.
See yourself here? If anything is
consuming your thoughts, energy, time and resources, to the point of causing
negative results which impact your life, it has crossed the line. Think about
this scripture:
“Let all things be done decently and in order.”
1
Corinthians 14:40
Now think of the word eating disorder. If the behaviors and habits
are extreme and causing anxiety, it is disordered. God can help us; He tells us
He will:
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way
you should go: I will guide you with My eye.”
Psalm 32:8
And, we need to realize our lives, our
habits and behaviors will never be 100% perfect. Yes, there will be junk food
and other less than healthy choices out there. But we’re not to be ruled by
them, to be anxious about them.
“All
things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are
lawful for me, but all things edify not.”
1
Corinthians 10:23
“All
things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are
lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”
Remember that as you focus on caring
for your temple. Stewardship does not require perfection; I believe it requires
looking for God’s guidance, wisdom and help.
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine
own understanding.”
Proverbs 3:5
Copyright © 2014 by Sheryle Cruse
Friday, November 28, 2014
Aftermath
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are
not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”
for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.”
Lamentations 3:22-23
Ugh!
Does that word describe you today? Or is it more like post-
holiday regret? A hangover? Self-loathing? Are you feeling great today or
bleh instead?
This holiday season has the overindulgence factor attached
to it. Regardless of how you did yesterday, there is always a new start.
Never feel condemned and hopeless. God is in the “day by day business,” not the
“or else smiting business” when it comes to His love for you.
“For which cause we
faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day.”
2
Corinthians 4:16
And that reality never hinges upon our imperfect and
overindulging natures. He just loves us, constantly and lavishly.
Whatever you feel today, please remember renewal is God’s
specialty in His love for you! Be made new today!
Copyright © 2014 by Sheryle Cruse
Thursday, November 27, 2014
Home For The Holidays (Break in case of Thanksgiving stress)
In order to get myself prepared for the holiday season, I
watched “Home For the Holidays.” It’s glorious in all of its dysfunctional
family splendor, much like most of our real, less than Norman Rockwell-esque
lives.
God bless and help us all. Just breathe. We will get through
this.
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Surviving the Holidays: A Primer For Family and Friends of Those Struggling With an Eating Disorder
|
We are coming up on the holidays. For families this is a time
meant for joy, festivities and socializing. These are times meant for us to
draw closer together and to re-affirm what it is to be a family, a time to
catch up on what has been going on and share with one another the prospects
for the New Year. To the individual suffering from an eating disorder, or in
the throes of recovery, these occasions can be overwhelming and threatening.
We want to be helpful and supportive, but nothing seems to come out right.
What do we say? How can we let them know that we care and are there for them,
without being so awkward about it?
Those patients who are struggling are often at a loss during
the holidays. They, too, have expectations for the holidays; and, oftentimes
being perfectionists, they don’t want to let down their loved ones who are
worried about them. Not only do they have to deal with the normal stresses of
the holidays, they worry that they will fail—either their families by
engaging in their eating disorder; or, conversely, their eating disorder by
losing control and gaining weight. Surely, everyone is looking at them,
wondering if they are eating enough, eating the right things, getting enough
rest. Surely, everyone knows that they just got out of treatment and are
talking about them. They smile and put on a brave face. They wonder if people
are avoiding talking to them. Maybe it’s for the best.
Some family members ask innocuously: “How are you doing?”
Well, they think, before they respond with an obligatory, “Fine, thanks,”
they feel…pretty much like a failure. Some of them have had to drop out of
school, leave jobs, see their friends move on with their lives as they stay
stuck. What happened to the person who was an honor student, track star, the
one voted most likely to success? You’re at home with your parents? That’s
great. Maybe you can use this time to get closer together. There’s always a
silver lining to our struggles.
Even worse: “You’re looking really good. You look…healthy.”
Great, they think, I look fat. This dress is making me look fat. My face is
all puffy. Everyone is talking about how fat I am. Maybe I need to stop
eating right now.
No wonder they sometimes hide in corners, avoiding eye
contact. Their body language is closed, forbidding. Don’t talk to me. Don’t
tell me that things will get better. Don’t ask me how I’m doing or if I’m going
back to school or if I’d done with treatment. Don’t ask me anything.
The best approach is not to ignore the eating disorder
individual’s presence, but to approach them with kindness and sensitivity.
Let them know you are glad to see them. Instead of commenting on their
clothing; praise their shoes, jewelry or hairstyle if appropriate. Did they
have a hand in decorating the tree or preparing a dish? Maybe you have a
happy memory that you want to share with them to let them know that they are
an important part of your life. Maybe you want to share something interesting
that happen to you to help take the perceived focus off of them. To engage in
conversation is important and a positive optimistic twist such as talking
about their pets, new people in their lives, or television shows will go a
long way to make the holidays brighter. The holidays are, ideally, a time to
connect—a time to let each one of us know that we are not alone, that we are
part of something greater than ourselves, that we are part of a family. You
can count on us. We’ll be there for you.
|
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Holiday Coping Tips From the Mayo Clinic...
Stress, depression and the holidays: 10 tips for
coping
Stress and depression can ruin your holidays
and hurt your health. Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can
help ward off stress and depression.
The holiday season, which begins for most Americans with
Thanksgiving and continues through New Year's Day, often brings unwelcome
guests — stress and depression. And it's no wonder. In an effort to pull off a
perfect holiday, you might find yourself facing a dizzying array of demands —
parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name a few. So much
for peace and joy, right?
Actually, with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress
and depression that often accompany the holidays. You may even end up enjoying
the holidays more than you thought you would.
Recognize holiday triggers
Learn to recognize common holiday triggers, so you can disarm
them before they lead to a meltdown:
§
Relationships. Relationships can cause turmoil, conflict or stress at any
time, but tensions are often heightened during the holidays. Family
misunderstandings and conflicts can intensify — especially if you're thrust
together for several days. On the other hand, facing the holidays without a
loved one can be tough and leave you feeling lonely and sad.
§
Finances. With the added expenses of gifts, travel, food and
entertainment, the holidays can put a strain on your budget — and your peace of
mind. Not to mention that overspending now can mean financial worries for
months to come.
§
Physical demands. Even die-hard holiday enthusiasts may find that the extra
shopping and socializing can leave them wiped out. Being exhausted increases
your stress, creating a vicious cycle. Exercise and sleep — good antidotes for
stress and fatigue — may take a back seat to chores and errands. To top it off,
burning the wick at both ends makes you more susceptible to colds and other
unwelcome guests.
Tips to prevent holiday stress and depression
When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try
to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays
have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.
1.
Acknowledge your
feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or
you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and
grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force
yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
2.
Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious
or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering
your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden
your friendships.
3.
Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year.
As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well.
Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if
your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate
together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videotapes.
4.
Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if
they don't live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more
appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or
distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of
holiday stress and depression too.
5.
Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you
can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with
an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's
name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
6.
Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends
and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll
help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure
to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7.
Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling
resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't
participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when
your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your
agenda to make up for the lost time.
8.
Don't abandon healthy
habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all.
Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before
holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.
9.
Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone,
without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to
do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something
that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring
inner calm.
10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling
persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep,
irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings
last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.
Take control of the holidays
Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take
steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the
holidays. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you may find that
you enjoy the holidays this year more than you thought you could.
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