Stress, depression and the holidays: 10 tips for
coping
Stress and depression can ruin your holidays
and hurt your health. Being realistic, planning ahead and seeking support can
help ward off stress and depression.
The holiday season, which begins for most Americans with
Thanksgiving and continues through New Year's Day, often brings unwelcome
guests — stress and depression. And it's no wonder. In an effort to pull off a
perfect holiday, you might find yourself facing a dizzying array of demands —
parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name a few. So much
for peace and joy, right?
Actually, with some practical tips, you can minimize the stress
and depression that often accompany the holidays. You may even end up enjoying
the holidays more than you thought you would.
Recognize holiday triggers
Learn to recognize common holiday triggers, so you can disarm
them before they lead to a meltdown:
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Relationships. Relationships can cause turmoil, conflict or stress at any
time, but tensions are often heightened during the holidays. Family
misunderstandings and conflicts can intensify — especially if you're thrust
together for several days. On the other hand, facing the holidays without a
loved one can be tough and leave you feeling lonely and sad.
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Finances. With the added expenses of gifts, travel, food and
entertainment, the holidays can put a strain on your budget — and your peace of
mind. Not to mention that overspending now can mean financial worries for
months to come.
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Physical demands. Even die-hard holiday enthusiasts may find that the extra
shopping and socializing can leave them wiped out. Being exhausted increases
your stress, creating a vicious cycle. Exercise and sleep — good antidotes for
stress and fatigue — may take a back seat to chores and errands. To top it off,
burning the wick at both ends makes you more susceptible to colds and other
unwelcome guests.
Tips to prevent holiday stress and depression
When stress is at its peak, it's hard to stop and regroup. Try
to prevent stress and depression in the first place, especially if the holidays
have taken an emotional toll on you in the past.
1.
Acknowledge your
feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or
you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and
grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force
yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
2.
Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious
or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering
your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden
your friendships.
3.
Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year.
As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well.
Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if
your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate
together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videotapes.
4.
Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if
they don't live up to all your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more
appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or
distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of
holiday stress and depression too.
5.
Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you
can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with
an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's
name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
6.
Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends
and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll
help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure
to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7.
Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling
resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't
participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when
your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your
agenda to make up for the lost time.
8.
Don't abandon healthy
habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all.
Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before
holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks.
Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.
9.
Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone,
without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to
do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something
that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring
inner calm.
10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling
persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep,
irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings
last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.
Take control of the holidays
Don't let the holidays become something you dread. Instead, take
steps to prevent the stress and depression that can descend during the
holidays. With a little planning and some positive thinking, you may find that
you enjoy the holidays this year more than you thought you could.
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