No Obligation

 

“I’m under no obligation to make sense to you.”

Obligation and the word “no” go hand in hand. That may not seem to be the natural association. But let’s truly look at what obligation means.

Its definition...

something that you must do because of a law, rule, promise, etc.

something that you must do because it is morally right

And that’s where it can often get murky for us, especially if we struggle with people pleasing.

Furthermore, factoring in our challenges with addiction and recovery, things seem to slant away from what is best for us, all in the name of sacrificing for someone else’s wants or needs.

“Which say to the seers, See not; and to the prophets, Prophesy not unto us right things, speak unto us smooth things...”

Isaiah 30:10

Ah, yes, smooth things. That is at the crux of the request for a people pleaser response. People want smooth things for themselves, sometimes, at our expense

Yet, even the Messiah, Who could do all kinds of miracles and blessings, said no; He was not interested in being a people pleaser.

 “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten...”

Revelations 3:19

And we could all benefit by taking a page from His instruction. For there is a vital principle of stewardship at hand here.

“Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?”

1 Corinthians 3:16

 “Let all things be done decently and in order.”

1 Corinthians 14:40

It is central to good health and wellbeing.

And it is critical to our recovery processes.

“...there are often many things we feel we should do that, in fact, we don't really have to do. Getting to the point where we can tell the difference is a major milestone in the simplification process.”
Elaine St. James, Living the Simple Life: A Guide to Scaling Down and Enjoying More

Indeed, not everything is good for us...

“All things are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify not.”

1 Corinthians 10:23

“All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”

1 Corinthians 6:12

“We must say ‘no’ to what, in our heart, we don't want. We must say ‘no’ to doing things out of obligation, thereby cheating those important to us of the purest expression of our love. We must say ‘no’ to treating ourselves, our health, our needs as not as important as someone else's. We must say ‘no.’”
Suzette Hinton

Therefore, we need to employ the power of the “no” word whenever needed...

“Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.”

Matthew 5:37

We need to honestly answer for ourselves, concerning any request or need...

Is a “yes” good for me?

Is a “yes” good for the person asking for it?

There’s no shame in discovery “no” would be the best answer and choice.

Sometimes, our “yes” would be too costly and destructive for both ourselves and for the person (s) involved.

We need to be honest about that possibility.

But it is both a healthy- and a holy- act of realizing our value and purpose.

That transcends any obligation’s importance.

Copyright © 2016 by Sheryle Cruse