Disordered
eating and image issues have been with me since my childhood. I wasn’t the only
one engaging in the mindsets, however.
When I was
in fifth grade, during recess, my third grade teacher struck up a conversation
with me. We had just returned from summer vacation and, as children are prone
to do, I had changed. Perhaps it was a growth spurt. Regardless, my third grade
teacher remarked, “Sheryle, you’ve slimmed down. Are you dieting?”
And we’re
off and running again with wrong messages to young children.
Of course,
by this time, I’d already started my dieting, yo-yoing, unhappiness
with/rejection of myself behaviors. I knew something was “wrong” as long as I
was overweight. But hearing the validation from an adult, one of my teachers,
nonetheless, gave it extra firepower.
Now it had credence beyond my mother or miscellaneous family members. This
feedback was from an objective “outsider,” after all. So, it must be true,
right?
This time of
year, kids are starting new school years. Whether it’s elementary, high school
or college, young people are returning to classes having undergone some kind of
change or some type of growth spurt. And yes, there may be some startling
transformations.
As someone
in recovery, I get quite uneasy as people make comments about physical
appearance. It’s tough enough as an adult. But I get extremely nervous when an adult makes a comment about a child’s weight.
Whether it’s an insult, a warning or high praise, there’s still danger at the
mere mention of the issue. And there’s no defense against it from the child.
1) Don’t comment on a child’s
appearance. There’s no setting where it’s appropriate. Kids need to be kids,
free from the importance of a thin appearance.
2) Don’t criticize an overweight physical
stature. You’re not an expert; you’re not a doctor. If there’s a legitimate
health concern, deal with it in a health context, not in the context of your personal
appearance opinions.
3) Don’t recommend dieting. Again, if
there’s a legitimate health issue, work with trained doctors and therapist to
resolve it. But believing your own “fix it” plan of placing a child on a diet
may do more harm than good. You could be setting that child up for a lifetime
of negative self-esteem and body image issues.
4) Don’t praise the child for and/or
compare a thinner body. Again, this is unhealthy and harmful. You’re sending a
toxic message that the child is inferior, subpar and will not be “okay” unless
and until he/she whittle down to the desired weight.
5) DO validate the child, as is. Let
him/her know there’s nothing which can add or detract from their lovability,
value and uniqueness. The child is wonderful as a creation of the most High
God. Period.
Since you were precious in my sight…
I have loved you…”
Isaiah 43:4
“I will praise You, for I am
fearfully and wonderfully made…”
Psalm 139:14
“I have chosen you and have not cast
you away.”
Isaiah 41:9
Copyright © 2018 by
Sheryle Cruse
No comments:
Post a Comment