Monday, September 27, 2010

Ou est la boum?


Yep, another infamous high school French class shirt, translating, “Where’s the party?”
Dealing with eating disorder behaviors and all kinds of accompanying issues can make us feel like screaming that question. We want rewards, something to bring us happiness, relief, meaning. Sometimes, we turn to food or any of our chosen comfort vices to help soothe our anxieties. But, after the comfort food is eaten, after we’ve participated in largely self-destructive choices, we still are left feeling empty. Feel like giving up? So, where is the party? Could it be in God?
“But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him.”
1 Corinthians 2:9
God wants us to turn to Him to be fulfilled in our lives.
“Cast not away therefore your confidence, which hath great recompence of reward.”
Hebrews 10:35
God is- and has- reward for us. We all need to stop looking for temporary parties and look to an eternal, loving, wonderful God!
 Ou est la boum? C’est Dieu!

Friday, September 24, 2010

Unconditionally

How do we see ourselves? Treat ourselves? One of the biggest things I’m learning is unconditional acceptance of myself, no matter what the situation may be. It’s easier to accept ourselves when we’re having a “cute day,” when we perform well, when we meet a designated standard. We meet those conditions; therefore, somehow, in our minds, we’re worthwhile.
But what about when we don’t look or feel our best? What about when we fail? What about when we disappoint others and ourselves? Then what?
God loves and accepts us, no matter who we are, what condition we’re in. This scripture has done wonders in helping me reframe the conditional treatment I participated in, throughout much of my life:
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:38-39
If God has determined that nothing can separate us from His love for us, giving us His Son, Jesus, to pay the price for our sins, then why can’t we accept ourselves? Unconditionally. It’s already here, His love for us, acceptance of us, belief that we’re valuable. Nothing more be added. No conditions.


Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Gradual Healing

Ah, gradually feeling better from this notorious flu! Being sick has made me appreciate feeling well. As each day of this flu passes, with gradual improvement in how I feel, it reminds me about the subtle improvement of healing that exists sometimes. Healing isn’t always, “Bam!” Sometimes, it’s a small improvement, a small step a day that makes you feel a little better. But the days, the feelings and the healings keep stacking up and, before you know it, you’re further down the line to being healthy and joyful than you ever expected to be!
“But the path of the just is as the shining light, that shineth more and more unto the perfect day.”
Proverbs 4:18

Healing: sounds like a process, doesn’t it?


Sunday, September 19, 2010

Stripes


Blech! Feeling sick today. Got the flu that hubby had last week. So, I’m here, in my robe, coughing and sniffling at 2:00 p.m. I’m waiting for my next “tussin” dose. And I’m thinking about stripes. Perhaps it’s because of my fever. Perhaps it’s because, in between coughs, I’m seeing stripes.
Nevertheless, stripes are usually big in fashion. We always hear about how horizontal stripes aren’t flattering on the body, how vertical stripes are “slimming.” Yadah, yadah, Yadah.

Still, as I’m pondering and coughing stripes, I reflect on scripture, especially regarding healing. Yep, nothing like sickness to get ya to think about healing, huh?
“But He was wounded (pierced) for our transgressions (Breaking the law), he was bruised (crushed, punished) for our iniquities (sins); the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes we are healed.
Isaiah 53:5
So, whether it’s a cold, a flu, an eating disorder, or any illness or injury out there, we are healed. Don’t give up if the feelings or facts don’t match the scripture yet. You are getting there, cough by cough, day by day. You’re getting better, not worse; that’s God’s Will.

“Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”
3 John 1:2
  And…
“…Thy will be done in earth, as [it is] in heaven.”
Matthew 6:10
In the meantime, wear those stripes of Jesus proudly- and get lots of vitamin C!

Saturday, September 18, 2010

Say "Please"

People pleasing, one of those notorious issues, a lot of us with ed struggles face. Came across this lil diddy recently. Check it out. See yourself here? Yikes! I know I do!

People-Pleasing Personality

Appearance to the world of the people-pleasing personality
Feelings inside persons with the people-pleasing personality traits
Negative consequences of people-pleasing behaviors
Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits
Turning negative people-pleasing traits into positive potential

Appearance to the world of the people-pleasing personality

* Very organized
* Easily liked
* Placators or appeasers
* Friendly, outgoing, gregarious
* Helpful, supportive
* Courteous and considerate of others
* Always smiling
* Interested in others' welfare
* Cooperative; real "team players''
* Generous with own time and energy
* Ready to volunteer
* Accept delegation easily
* "Company men''; very loyal
* Ready to take on any new challenge that comes along
* Work hard at pleasing others
* Talented, skillful, and creative
* A pleasure to spend time with
* Happy, joyful, full of fun
* Encouraging and reassuring
* Go along with requests made by others
* People mixers
* Assets in any conversation
* "Together,'' warm, and caring persons
* People sought out for friendship; popular socially

Feelings inside persons with the people-pleasing personality traits

* Fear of loss of approval
* Fear of rejection
* Fear of loss of personal identity
* Fear of loss of personal worth
* Denial of problems
* Self-denial or ignoring of personal rights
* Feeling lonely and isolated from others
* Avoid conflicts or fights at any cost
* Feeling not "good'' enough
* Feeling undeserving
* Feeling inferior to others
* Concern about satisfying others' demands
* Insecurity about personal abilities, skills, or knowledge
* Compulsive need to please others
* Unhappy over not pleasing others
* Embarrassed by personal looks or behavior that displeases others
* Confusion about why it takes so much energy to please others
* Fear of not "doing best'' for others' sake
* Fear of letting their friends and family down
* Fear of failure
* Fear of it being "found out'' they are not as good as they appear to others
* Fear that others will recognize their failings
* Desire to run away to avoid the stress of "always'' needing to be "good''
* Exhaustion from always trying to be "perfect''
* Disappointment in not being able to make everyone happy
* Critical of how well they are doing in their personal lives
* Feel unappreciated or taken advantage of
* Feel taken for granted
* Feel like they are being treated like victims
* Feel like the martyr for others
* Fear of making a decision lest it be the wrong one
* Come unglued easily under pressure; unorganized

Negative consequences of people-pleasing behaviors

* Low self-esteem
* Loss of personal identity
* Loss of personal rights
* Being taken advantage of
* Loss of personal time
* Ineffectiveness in managing work
* Inability to direct or supervise others
* Inability to achieve personal goals
* Inability to take a leadership role
* Poor problem solving abilities
* Burnout on the job or at home
* Chronic state of being unappreciated
* Immobilized by irrational beliefs
* Guilt over not accomplishing enough or not being pleasing enough for others
* Inability to maintain healthy interpersonal relationships
* Loss of appreciation for self attributes
* Inability to accept kindnesses from others
* Chronic state of self-deprecation
* Chronic state of being hard on self
* Lack of trust in others' sincerity
* Chronic state of insecurity in interacting with others
* Inability to make a decision
* Do not know how to relax

Irrational beliefs of people with the people-pleasing personality traits

* I must be liked by everyone.
* I must do nothing to upset others.
* I must work harder to make things better for others.
* They would never like me if they knew the truth about me.
* I must be careful in my decision making so as not to upset anyone.
* I can never do enough to please them.
* I am responsible for other peoples' happiness.
* How they respond to me is important.
* The harder I work for them, the more they will appreciate me.
* If they don't like me, I'm no good!
* Always put others first! Put yourself last.
* There is no task I won't do for you, large or small.
* People can only like you if you appear nice, pleasant, friendly, and cheerful to them.
* Your only role in life is giving to or helping others.
* If you are not successful, you are a loser and losers are ignored, unloved, and unwanted.
* It's not who you are but what you do that counts.
* You must always be understanding and have an open mind with people who are hurting you or putting you down.
* If someone doesn't accept me, it must be that I'm not "good enough'' to be accepted.
* No matter what I do, it never seems to be "good enough.''
* I can do nothing right. I am worthless, useless, but I can't let others see this about me or they will reject me.

Turning negative people-pleasing traits into positive potential

Negative People-Pleaser Behavior : Positive Potential


Self-sacrificing : This behavior can be converted to rational altruism, in which they are able to be self protective and self rewarding in their "giving'' behavior toward others.

Self-deprecating : This behavior can be converted into realistic self appraisal by their being led to recognize and accept personal strengths, abilities, and attributes. They can be taught that "false humility'' is unhealthy and that it is OK to "toot'' one's horn when appropriate.

Poor decision making ability : This poor decision making can be converted to productive problem solving and effective decision making by allowing themselves the right to hold to their own opinions and to be creative without the fear of what others would say and without fear of retribution. Freeing up their mental energy will result in increased productivity, creativity, and healthy decision making.

Loss of personal identity : By being able to accept themselves for who they are without fear of recriminations or disapproval, they can become firm in their beliefs as to who they are and what they are capable of doing and becoming.

Martyrdom : Rather than placing themselves in situations in which their rights are ignored and where they are taken advantage of, they can learn to be assertive and begin to protect their rights, ceasing to be victimized by others.

Need for approval : By increasing their habits of self-affirmations and positive self-approval, they can alter both their need for approval and their fear of rejection by being their own best friend, cheerleader, reinforcer, and approver. They have to accept and approve of themselves before others will.

Dependent on others for positive reinforcement : Because they have low self-esteem they reinforcement become so dependent on others for attention, affection, and approval that they become "addicted'' to positive affirmation from others. This can be converted by becoming self caring, self affirming, self accepting, and by becoming emotionally independent from others.

Fear of failure : By recognizing that one's worth is not solely dependent on "doing well,'' "achieving things'' or by doing things to please others, they can let go of the fear of letting people down by failing to achieve self-imposed goals or goals others have set for them. Learning to turn failures into growth enhancing experiences is another way they can let go of this fear.

Unswerving loyalty : Those who find security in being loyal to institutions rather than to themselves can reverse this behavior by recognizing the value of self directed attention and concern for personal health and well being. Being loyal to self results in a holistic sense of wellness of body, mind, and spirit.

Hard on self : This results in self punishing and self restrictive behavior. By letting go of the need to be "good enough'' for everyone else and by letting go of perfectionism in personal efforts, they can lighten up on themselves and learn to enjoy life, to relax, have fun and play, nurturing the inner child in themselves.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Through the Valley of the Dolls

Most of us, as little girls, have played with dolls. I have; I love dolls. Recently, I came across some of the dolls I played with as a child. It sparked some revelation, even into the roots of my eating disorder development and estimation of beauty standards. I’m not here to say that dolls are evil. But they can influence perceptions of beauty and worth. As with most things, even doll play has been a subtle journey, playing a role in forming the woman I ultimately became.

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Proverbs 22:6

Softina- Baby Doll:

Most of us little girls start out playing with baby dolls. We learn how to feed, dress, nurture through this baby doll play. Notice that we’re not, as little girls, drawn to how skinny a baby doll is. We only look for cuteness. So, baby dolls are often chubby, not a size 0. This is the case with “Softina“ here. Emphasis is on each little girl being “a good Mommy,” not necessarily on how we look.

Barbie:

Ah, Barbie! Yes, you’d be hard pressed to find a female out there who has not heard of this doll! Having been around for over fifty years now, Barbie has been a staple in most of our playtime sessions as girls. As a little girl, I was no different. I looked to her and dreamed. Barbie has had many careers, looks and accessories over the years. She’s followed the trends and norms of society. She’s been who we, as girls, aspired to be as women when we grew up. She also has, typically, unrealistic physical attributes (Measurements on Barbie, if an actual woman would be 39-19-33). Yet we looked and saw her as beautiful; we wanted her long blonde hair, her blue eyes, her bust, her waist, her long legs, her perfect life! Some women, even today, have undergone cosmetic surgery, having cheekbone, chin and breast implants to purposely look more like the doll in their own lives!

Sindy:

Sindy: I believe she was a doll who had her start in Britain in the 1960’s. She, eventually, made her way over to America. I mention this doll because there was a time  I really got into her when I got a little older. I preferred her over Barbie, in fact, at one time. I had everything Sindy: her furniture, her clothes, her horse, her tiny little ice cubes in her tiny little ice cube trays- you name it. I bring her up, because the first thing I noticed about her, when I got her, was how she looked different from Barbie; I noticed her large head right away. But, despite her large noggin, I still loved playing with her; I still found her beautiful and fun. I dreamed about my life as a woman. No, she may not have fit into Barbie’s doll mold, but, nevertheless, she was still a female image. Hmmm. Seeds, perhaps, were developing in my little girl mind, regarding more than one beauty standard out there? We all need to play with Sindy, I guess, every now and then, to give ourselves a refresher course in this principle: different types of beauty exist out there.

Mint-In-Box Barbie:


By the time I was a preteen, I got away from playing with Barbie dolls. At this point, I moved into becoming a doll collector; I was more interested in preserving them, “mint in box,” like “Angel Face Barbie” here. Years later, I now see an interesting shift going on. I can see the eating disorder seeds sprouting, as I became more preoccupied with “perfection,” rather than imperfect play. I would rather preserve the doll than play with her as a toy. As I moved into adolescence- and my eating disorders- likewise, I would rather be a “perfect- a/k/a- thin” specimen instead of a person living life. Hmmm. Interesting. I, with my eating disorder behaviors, was trying to be “mint in box” as well.

Smaller Doll:


“Mint in box” lead me to this doll, by the time I was twelve, I think. I’m not sure of the brand or the doll name. But I was drawn to her, again, not because I wanted to play with her, but rather, because of her size.
See the comparison, next to Barbie and Sindy?

Much, much smaller. Doll imitated life, again, for me as well. The years rolled by and I determined and achieved a smaller size body through anorexia in my later teen years. I wanted to be as tiny as possible. I wanted to disappear, I suppose.

Again, I’m not calling dolls evil. Like it or not, they are a large part of a girl’s development; they’ve been around in different centuries and cultures.
 I have, however, found more insight, years later, still, a doll fan, as I look at my life, through the valley of dolls.
How about you? What are you favorite dolls? Who did you play with, what doll inspired you, as a girl? Dolls, indeed, can shape who we become as the women we are. There’s more at play than just “playing with dolls.”

Monday, September 13, 2010

Heiress, Not Helpless!

I recently came across more photos of my cousin’s wedding.

At my lowest weight, described in my book, “Thin Enough,” I was determined to meet my goal and be every bit the pink bridesmaid was felt I was supposed to be. I remember feeling wobbly in my high heels, swaying in the dress, trying not to pass out, as I walked down the aisle. I felt so weak.

So, the day rolled on; the photo sessions taxed me, just trying to stay standing. See the pained smiles frozen on my face?

 And there we all were: the bridesmaids, decked out in the pastel colors. We looked girly and feminine.



But still, I knew, in my heart, that it didn’t matter if I wore the pink dress, had my hair done, had perfect makeup and accessories; I still just felt helpless.

So often, with eating disorders, food, weight and body image issues, we can feel helpless, can’t we? After all, somewhere lurking in each of our minds, is the thought, “I’m just a girl.” But God’s called each of us to be more than a girl; we are “joint heirs with Christ.”

“And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with [him], that we may be also glorified together.”

Romans 8:17

“If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise.”

Galatians 3:29

“so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.”

Titus 3:7

We are capable of so much, not because of who we are, but rather, because of Who Jesus is!

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”

Philippians 4:13

On the outside, we may look like “just a girl,” smiling pretty, decked out in pastel colors and struggling with an eating disorder, a “just a girl’s disease” (which, by the way, it’s not, affecting, conservatively, at least one million males and growing now). But God sees more in each one of us; He sees value, worth, potential and an inheritance of unique blessings for our individual lives!

No, we’re not helpless! And after all, Who is our Helper, anyway?

“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth.”

Psalms 121:1-2

Remember: Heiress, not Helpless! Go out and live who you are! God wants to give you something today, to bless and empower you! Receive it!

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Ain't it the truth? Keep paddling!

Look at this little guy!


Feel like that lately? Just one more paddle; just keep going. God has promised to give each of a a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). What does that mean for you? Keep paddling- and talk to God about it!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Be your own cheerleader!

Gimme a “G!” Gimme an “O!”




Gimme an “M!” Gimme an “E!”

What does that spell? “Go Me!” YAAAAAAY!!!!

Yeah, I know it seems silly, but there are times in life when the only person cheering you on is you.
“You received a gift from God when I placed my hands on you [to ordain you]. Now I'm reminding you to fan that gift into flames.”

2 Timothy 1:6



I know that it feels good, warm and fluffy to get encouragement from other people. And yes, people can be wonderful sources of encouragement, helping us when we’re in need. But, at the end of the day, we’re left with ourselves- and our thoughts. What are you saying to yourself then? Is it, “Go team?” Or are you cheering for the opposite team.

I’ve never been a high school cheerleader, but I have talked to myself, saying, “C’mon, you can do it.” Haven’t we all? Break out the pom poms when no one else is singing your praises at the moment; positively use the power of your words!

“Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;”

Ephesians 5:19

We’ll get through these “alone, lonely times.” This too shall pass. Don’t forsake yourself, be your own cheerleader, rooting for your Victory. God’s rooting for you.

"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Romans 8:31


How about agreeing with Him? Go, Team, Go!!!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Pouquoi Moi?

For my two year stint of high school French, I got this t-shirt.





It means “why me?” We’ve all had those days. We can relate to this little Koala bear, as we see our own wilted flowers in life. Having these days, these experiences and these feelings in life doesn’t, however, mean that we’re failures, by any means. It means that we’re living the process, known as “life.”

“I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. “

Ecclesiastes 9:11

Whatever “time,” “chance,” or circumstances may come, God’s decided what He wants for us.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Jeremiah 29:11

If you feel like this poor little koala today, look up, look to God, Who will heal your life and all of its issues.

“And Jesus saith unto him, I will come and heal him.”

Matthew 8:7
So, concerning God- and His Loving Kindness, the next time you ask yourself, “why me,” try asking, instead, “why NOT me?” God loves you too much to let the wilted flowers win.

Friday, September 3, 2010

Unexpected Tending To Do

Yeah, I’m a cat lady; I love my two cats, Grace and Glory with a Mama’s passion. I am inspired and learning from them, day by day, as life rolls along.

Recently, our cats got their updated vaccinations. Gracie’s always had a more sensitive reaction to them. Last year, as a kitten, she had such a reaction that we found ourselves at the ER, late in the night. So, this time around, we tried to be more prepared, telling our new vet about her sensitivity and getting a preventive shot to counteract her regular vaccination reaction.

Well, just like they warned us, in spite of that preventative shot, Gracie still vomited within two hours of getting home. So, back to the vet, to get a steroid shot. From there, we were supposed to administer children’s liquid Benadryl to help her further.



Poor Gracie! She was not a happy kitty here. We followed instructions and our delicate little flower made it through okay.

But things got weird, as this week rolled on. The Benadryl stuff was sticky in her fur, which, I guess, matted, made her scratch, get uncomfortable and fuss with it. I started to notice that clumps of fur were falling out under her chin- and she had a small scratch as well. We’re taking her in tomorrow, just to be sure, applying Neosporin, in the meantime.

Why am I mentioning the kitty trials and tribulations? Because, it’s yet another example of the tending process in life. Life is about tending to things; so is recovery. Life and recovery are both unexpected, from time to time, having us tend to certain issues with more care sometimes. It’s about adjustment, not a one-time perfect achievement.

Believe me, I’d love to be perfect, have recovery, have Grace, Glory, and life, in general be perfect, never needing any further tweaking, care, monitoring or adjustment. It ain’t happening. No, life is process, involving changes in our responses to situations. And, our responses won’t be “perfect” either. We do our best and go on from there.

And, as ridiculous as it sounds to blame Gracie, berate her for vomiting, losing her fur, getting a scratch under her chin, it’s just as ridiculous for each of us to blame, berate and beat ourselves up when we need a little extra help. We all need help; no one has it perfectly together, completely immune from some TLC. So, we need to adjust, not freak out. God’s our helper. If God created, knows about and cares about a grey cat named Gracie, just imagine how He views us. As the scripture says:

“Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds!”

Luke 12:24

So, we’ll tend to our Gracie and we’ll tend to life, as it bumps along. We need to be kind to ourselves, no matter what we’re facing. There are some times in life that need more adjustment than other times. That doesn’t make us failures. It makes us stewards of our lives. Do the best you can, as imperfect as that may be. And most importantly, we are children of God. God helps each of His kids, giving His Love, His Grace and His Mercy to us. He is tending to us.

“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”

Psalms 46:1

Therefore, we can tend to our lives and know that we’ll be okay.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

(Braids) Mother/Daughter

It’s inevitable. I suppose, it’s the nature of the complicated relationship known as “mother/daughter.” No matter which side you’re on, it’s filled with mixed feelings, all tangled up. As mothers and daughters go, we love each other and we hate each other. We want to be connected; we want our independence. We want closeness; we want to be left alone. We want to be “just like her,” for whatever that means. We want to be “anything, but her,” for whatever that may mean. We want approval; we want to rebel. We want to tear each other down and then we want to build each other up. We get jealous of one another; we get proud of one another. We want to be best friends; we want to be mortal enemies. We can’t wait to get rid of each other; we mourn each other. And all of that usually happens in a time span of five minutes when mother and daughter are in contact with each other.

We’re pushing buttons, pulling strings, avoiding issues, attacking each other, smothering and running away, everything, it seems, except being at peace with our mother/daughter reality.

I’ve never been a mother, personally; I’ve only been a daughter. That’s something, indeed, every female experiences in her life. Some daughters have never known their mothers. Some have been abandoned, abused and mistreated by them. Some daughters have lost their mothers. Some daughters have great relationships with their mothers. But, no matter what, “mother” has an incredible impact on whomever we do and don’t become. “Mother” is an influential ghost to each of us. “Mother:” the promise of unconditional love, nurturing and caring.

But, with eating disorders, in particular, it seems that the word “mother” carries so much extra complication with it. I remember the enmeshment of my relationship with Mom, first demonstrated as we were “diet buddies” throughout my childhood. When issues of getting achievements, getting down to our “right weight” and comforting our sorrows with food and magical thinking came into play, however, I felt that the “mother promise” was all distortion, no substance. I felt betrayed, not just by my mother, but by its promising carrot dangling over my soul and my identity.



I created this drawing, “Braids,” back in 1995. It was part Mother’s Day present for my mom, part therapy for me. The drawing is the two of us at the same age of five. I remembered something, as that little girl, that stayed with me and has deepened in its meaning for me over the years. When that photograph of me was taken, Mom purposely braided my hair because, she herself, had braids when she was photographed as a little girl. She wanted to capture that similarity, that bond, I guess, somehow. Her thinking was this: “Like mother, like daughter.”

And, in theory, that “Like mother, like daughter” sentiment should be loving, sweet and innocent. But, instead, so often, it seems to be haunting, confusing and frustrating for both mother and daughter. The enmeshment between the two of us, I know, affected us both. Mom had issues, frustration and pain in our relationship; I did as well. Support, for one another, therefore, becomes an even greater challenge in the relationship as personal desires, fears and hurts all demand specific attention; they are “braided” into an already complex human dynamic.

I suppose that’s why support, creative individuality and expression are so important to me now. Each one of us is, indeed, a separate, unique individual, not a clone of anyone else, mother or daughter included.

Yes, indeed, each one of us is influenced largely by mother. It can be a fuzzy, vague concept or a painful, frustrating relationship with our actual human, imperfect mother figures.

But, whether or not we’re mothers in our own lives, we’re always daughters. And we’re always little girls, somewhere in our psyches. That’s to be celebrated, protected and nurtured, eating disorder or not. And, no matter what pain or issues surround our mother/daughter experiences, or, for that matter, our daughter experiences, in general, we are all the daughters of God. And God, is Loving and Faithful to touch and heal and restore us.

"And he said unto her, Daughter, be of good comfort: thy faith hath made thee whole; go in peace."

Luke 8:48

Let’s braid, this, into who we are.













 

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

The Outlaw

Look at this photo.



It’s actress, Jane Russell from her 1943 breakout film, “The Outlaw.” The film caused a real stir, for obvious reasons. In fact, inspired by Russell’s figure , Howard Hughes worked on a brassiere specifically for her. Yes, she has a “full figure.” Today, however, would she be an outlaw in Hollywood because of that curvy figure? Hmmm. If casting went on today for the film, would she get the role or someone who was closer to a size zero?


Still, there’s no denying her beauty and sex appeal. I think we all have a little Jane Russell “Outlaw” in all of us; how about you? Let’s be outlaws against the limited perceptions of what beauty looks like in our world.