The month of
October, leading up to Halloween, has emphasis on ghosts and haunted houses. The
telling of ghost stories is common as we approach October 31st.
I have my own
ghost story, the mystery that is my family.
I’ve shared
much about my dad’s abusive nature; that is familiar to me.
What,
however, is NOT as familiar, is knowing about him.
Like many
immigrant families, the past was not discussed. I know very little about the
exact country my dad’s family came from. Likewise, I don’t know much about my
dad, apart from his rages and his obsession with farm work. The unknown
reality, therefore, has left me haunted, especially within the last few years.
I now have the responsibility of clearing my childhood home, a house in which
my dad, his siblings and parents all once resided.
The house,
itself, is one hundred years old, filled with decades of memorabilia. And, in
organizing, clearing and cleaning the house, I have stumbled across some relics,
like my dad’s dog tags and my paternal grandfather’s oval portrait, taken in
the early nineteen hundreds. These findings create more questions- and yes,
ghosts.
Most
recently, I even discovered a long lost photo album, devoted to my dad’s time
in World War II.
This brown leather
album, with its black pages brimming with photo after photo, show him as a
young man in his early twenties. There were various shots of him on his
battleship, as well as images of him hanging out with his army buddies.
Where once
upon a time, I only had two or three pictures of him, now I have many.
Still, there
is no resolution to the mystery of who he was.
Therefore,
this housecleaning has now taken on a deeper meaning. As tedious and
overwhelming as the clearing of my childhood home is, there is significant
value to the process. No, I have not learned the answers to my ever- expanding
questions. Yet, having these scattered puzzle pieces is something I’ve come to
view as buried treasure.
It has yet
to be determined what- and how much- I will ever discover about him, about
where I come from. The haunted feeling could lead to despair, if it were not
for the reality the Most High God has every answer and is in the process of revealing,
all in due time.
So, until
then, I endeavor to remain thankful for what I do have, be it photos or Divine grace
and mercy.
“And God is able to
make all grace abound toward you; that ye, always having all sufficiency in all
things, may abound to every good work.”
2 Corinthians 9:8
“Know ye that the LORD he
is God…be thankful unto him…bless his name. For the LORD is good; his mercy is
everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.”
Psalms 100:3-5
Yes, I’d
love to know every answer, but Divine words on this concept echo in my mind…
“I have yet many
things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.”
John 16:12
What about
you? Can you relate?
It can be
tempting to believe we are the only ones going through a haunted, painful
experience. But many of us have unresolved questions and issues concerning our
loved ones and personal history. It’s far more prevalent than we think.
“…time and chance happeneth to them all.”
Ecclesiastes 9:11
There can be
some traumatic experiences, hushed secrets and missing puzzle pieces, driving
us from one painful, self-destructive choice to another.
Are you haunted? Or are you too aware of
something, desperately trying to forget
it?
Whatever the
case may be, God is keenly aware of its entirety. And He knows how to best
handle the situation when it involves what is most precious to Him: us.
“Since you were precious in my sight… I have loved you…”
Isaiah 43:4
Perhaps,
concerning our finite selves, it is better we don’t know absolutely everything
right now. The Most High knows if it has the potential to destroy us.
Yes, I know,
“the
truth shall set us free” (John 8:32). And that still stands.
However, it
doesn’t guarantee things will be painless. Far from it, often times.
I do want
answers. But am I ready for them? Well, that’s uncertain.
“For we know in part and we
prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part
disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child,
I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the
ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a
reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part;
then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.”
1 Corinthians 13:9-12
What you and
I can do, however, is place faith in where we are now, as well as where God is
leading us. And He is leading us…
“Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide
you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall
hear, that shall he speak: and
he will shew you things to come.”
John 16:13
In the
meantime, we need to trust we are becoming who He has created us to be…
“But we all, with
unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being
transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of
the Lord.”
2 Corinthians 3:18
No, it’s not
easy or pain-free. Our Creator never said it would be.
Nevertheless,
there is reward for loving Him, connecting with Him, in spite of our flawed
selves.
“But as it is written, ‘Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard,
neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared
for them that love him.’”
1 Corinthians 2:9
The Most
High God has not only every single answer, He also has help for every haunting
we experience in life.
So, right
now, wherever we are, however we’re haunted, let’s make the choice to go from
ghosts to God.
Copyright © 2018 by
Sheryle Cruse
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