That Sweet Tooth

 

My elderly mother is Type II Diabetic.

Since her diagnosis, I have experienced various adventures in her caregiving. I just didn’t realize how large this sweet tooth issue would be.

Sugar: the white devil. Maybe you’ve heard that expression. The health risks are certainly there, with Diabetes being one of them.

But what is, perhaps, not as widely known or discussed is sugar’s addictive properties.

 “Sugar is a drug, a... dopamine enhancer that works along the same lines as caffeine, nicotine and alcohol – all substances that people love to indulge in, even though it is well known that they aren’t good for the body. A diet loaded with sugar generates excessive reward signals in the brain, and over time, these pleasurable brain chemicals can... create an addiction...”*

My mother’s preoccupation with the sweet stuff has existed for decades. Yet, in recent years, I have experienced the fuller effect of her junkie ways.

So, come along with me and see if my mother’s story corresponds to your family situation.

That notorious sweet tooth may take more of a bite than you think.

The Sugar Set Up:

My mother has spent her life grappling with disordered food and weight issues. Childhood photographs of her show she was overweight. And, my aunt told me about Mom’s sedentary habits growing up. She was studious, forsaking physical activity for quiet reading spots to devour a book. Because of all of that sitting, my grandmother, therefore, needed to constantly sew patches on her pants. Mom’s excessive sitting wore holes in different pairs.

As an adolescent and young woman, my mother was on diet after diet, like most females out there. She would portion chocolate candy by freezing it, allowing herself one piece a day. Viewing the photographs of this time period, I see a trim woman. However, her relationship with food and weight was not that simple.

Once Mom married my dad, things became even more difficult. Her marriage was abusive, stressful and stifling. She was isolated, forbidden from working outside of the home and, like many of us, turned to food for comfort. She overate and became obese.

And my dad’s food preferences didn’t make matters any easier. He was quite specific about what he wanted to eat. He demanded a “meat and a sweet” at every meal. Mom, being a farmer’s wife, had to execute breakfast, lunch, dinner and at least three to four snacks a day featuring these tempting foods. Pastries, chocolate cakes, pies and cookies were the finishing deserts to any meat dish, prepared, fried and/or dripping in lard, cheese, gravy or some other processed sauce.

That was what was in the house, day in, day out. Consequently, for years, Mom ate like that; I ate like that. We were both plagued with food issues.

Once my dad died, even though there was no reason to keep that food around, she continued to do so. Habits were formed and hard to break. Mom gained more weight on her already obese frame.

Therefore, those realities, inevitably, brought on their consequences.

The Crisis and the Diagnosis:

 In 2009, my mother had a stroke episode while alone in her home. It caused her to collapse and left her unable to walk. She could not reach the phone and, after two days of my unsuccessful phone call attempts, a welfare check was enforced. We found her helpless, bruised and bleeding on the family room floor. While hospitalized, her Diabetic diagnosis was made.

But who knows how many years she had this condition before that actual diagnosis?

Morbidly obese for decades, in the years after my dad’s passing, she further isolated, hoarded and controlled her environment, placing her health and safety at risk. She also avoided seeing doctors. She overate sugary, processed foods. And, she stopped taking her blood pressure medication two weeks before her stroke episode. In short, she wasn’t taking proper care of herself.

So, because of those choices, one early Sunday morning, she arose from her sleep only to-boom- be hit with this incapacitating stroke. Her life, in that moment, was forever altered.

Now, she resides in a care facility. My mother can no longer walk without a walker, spending most of her time in her wheelchair. She is on medications to keep her blood pressure, blood sugar and assorted health issues stabilized. One of those medications to directly combat Diabetes is Metformin. Her treatment team wanted to delay administering full-blown Insulin for as long as possible, since it can tend to be that much more taxing on the elderly human body. And, Mom’s body did not need to be taxed.  

However, Insulin, needed to be added in 2014. She had finally reached a point in which the Metformin, by itself, was no longer effective.

The Jones-sing and the Deviousness:

There is a scene in the 1983 film, “Scarface.” In it, Tony Montana, a scrappy drug lord, has risen to power so much so, he has gigantic mounds of cocaine on his desk. In his addicted state, he doesn’t just do a line of the drug. Rather, his entire face dives into one of the mounds and he snorts away. When he finally lifts his head, we see the telltale white powder around his nose and mouth.

I view my mother in much the same way concerning sugar. If she had her choice, there would be piles of the stuff at her disposal.

You may view this as an extreme exaggeration, but let me explain some of the lengths she has gone to get her sugar fix.

First, early into her residence at her care facility, when everything was unfamiliar, she saw no reason why she should not be able to eat the way she did before her Diabetes diagnosis. She wanted a steady stream of junk food, candy and rich foods which were not a part of her new diet.

And, when my husband and I said “no” to the requests for a constant supply of foods which were unhealthy for her, she decided to have other people bring in the contraband for her.

Since 2009, there have been instances in which we have visited her and have seen candy boxes in her room. In the beginning, other individuals acted out of ignorance; they did not know about her health. Mom capitalized on that ignorance, convincing them she was healthy (even though she resided in a care facility and was wheelchair bound). It was only when I directly communicated with these individuals, circumstances changed. I asked them to refrain from bringing any further food.

But, occasionally, I will see a popcorn drum or box of chocolate covered cherries (usually around Christmas) in her room. I have also discovered chocolate bars and brown bananas stuffed in her dresser drawers.

Indeed, Mom will hoard food if she gets the opportunity to do so. I have not only found overripe fruit, but also crackers and packets of peanut butter and jelly (squirreled away from her breakfast), in drawers and on her nightstand.

Mom is also capable of scheming. This especially concerns my mother’s determination involving her much-loved Figis’ food catalog.

In case you’re not familiar, Figis is known for its candy, pastries and meat and cheese platters. Mom has been a customer for years- and that continued into her care facility residence. And, like the food brought in from other people, assorted candy items showed up in her room. I’m talking large boxes of chocolates. Her blood sugar numbers went over 200.

After unsuccessful conversations about how these orders were not healthy for her, I finally made the decision to directly call the catalog company, inform them of her situation and cancel her subscription. I thought the issue was handled. That is until I continued to see more catalogs cluttering up her room.

But something was different about these catalogs.

Upon closer inspection, I saw her street address was the same. But her room number had changed. And it wasn’t simply an error. No, this room number was specifically her intake room from when, years earlier, she first entered her care facility.

And, as if that wasn’t devious enough, there was one other change: the addressee. It was that of my late father’s name. That’s right, apparently my dead dad liked receiving Figis’ catalogs at her care facility.

By this stage in the game, I know my mother and have learned to pick my battles; I did not confront her. She would not have admitted to it anyway.

So, I left the room, taking the catalogs with me and proceeded with cancelation attempt number two. On the phone, again, explaining my mother’s health issues, I had to ask the company to further flag the address and not one, but two room numbers and two addressee names. The customer service rep was surprised by my Mom’s tactics. I was not.

Mom either did all of this directly (which seems doubtful) or elicited someone else’s help to do her handy work; regardless, it was dishonest. There’s a recovery adage out there: “People who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.” Mom knew ordering from the catalogs and gorging on the food items was not good for her.

Nevertheless, it didn’t deter her from pursuing these goodies.

Attempts at Compromise:

We know these cravings exist. And, because they exist, my husband and I have worked to make allowances for her. Hence, the occasional treat.

“Sweets remind you of happy times. As children, we are given sugary treats when we behave well or when times are happy (like holidays). We learn to associate the taste of sugar with happy feelings, and as adults, we try to recreate those sweet childhood memories...”*

We recognize deprivation is not healthy, even for my Diabetic mother. Special food items can be eaten, sparingly, with close monitoring of her blood sugar. And, by residing at her care facility, that monitoring is done on a daily basis.

So, yes, Mom has special treats. We eat lunch with her once a month. Each year, we make some holiday food for her and we buy a birthday cake for her party (she prefers chocolate marble).

And, since her birthday is close to Easter, we also bring her the Cadbury Crème Eggs she yearns for.

Two years ago, we gave her an egg while prepping for her party. I wanted to get some photos of the birthday girl and, suddenly, I hear this crinkling noise. She just couldn’t wait. The egg was gone. I snapped a picture of her having just popped it into her mouth.

This sugar issue is walking a tightrope between Mom’s pleasure and her health. Her cravings have given us an education on who she is.

“For he satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness.”

Psalms 107:9

Sugar addiction, representing that longing soul, is, indeed, a spiritual issue. For, as I’ve learned in my mother’s situation, it demands an unmet need, somehow, be filled.

The sweet tooth does not have any age limit; it does not outgrow its need for pleasure.

And, further complicating things, once someone is elderly, having more restrictions on his/her life, which are not pleasurable, like body, health and residence changes, sugar cravings can become even more all-consuming.

Yes, it is an irritating issue, but it is not insurmountable. For we never forget: we are led by a loving Father:

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go: I will guide you with My eye.”

Psalm 32:8

And, yes, that includes all things sugar.        

*The 4 Most Common Reasons Why You Crave Sweets by Shilo Urban

www.organicauthority.com/health/why-you-crave-sugar-sweets

Copyright © 2019 by Sheryle Cruse