Not An Appropriate Conversation

Disordered eating and image issues have been with me since my childhood. However, I wasn’t the only one engaging in these the creation and flourishing of these mindsets.

 When I was in fifth grade, during recess, my third grade teacher struck up a conversation with me. We had just returned from summer vacation and, as children are prone to do, I had changed. Perhaps it was a growth spurt.

Regardless, my third grade teacher remarked, “Sheryle, you’ve slimmed down. Are you dieting?”

And we’re off and running again with wrong messages conveyed to young children.

By this time, at age ten, I’d already started my yo-yo dieting and rejection of myself behaviors. I knew something was “wrong” with me as long as I was overweight. So, hearing this validation from an adult, from one of my teachers, even, gave it extra firepower. Now it had credence. This feedback was from an objective “outsider,” after all. So, it must be true, right?

This time of year, kids are starting new school years. Whether it’s elementary, high school or college, young people are returning to classes having undergone some kind of change. And yes, there may be some startling transformations.

As someone in recovery, I get quite uneasy as people make comments about physical appearance, especially concerning weight. It’s tough enough to deal with as an adult.

But I get extremely nervous when an adult makes a comment about a child’s weight. Whether it’s an insult, a warning or high praise, there’s still danger at the mere mention of the issue. And there’s no defense against it from the child.

Don’t comment on a child’s appearance. Don’t criticize an overweight physical stature. Don’t praise the child for possessing a thin body. Don’t recommend dieting.

Please seek professional help if there is an impact to the child’s quality of life. There’s a vast difference between that, however and being “aesthetically pleasing.”

You may think you’re being helpful and encouraging. But, in some children, you may be lighting a damaging fuse. We never know who’s susceptible to an eating disorder. It could be the moody OR the sunny child, the popular kid or the outcast.

Diet/thin talk with a child is NEVER a conversation starter. But it could be the start of a lifelong eating disorder struggle.

Please talk about something else.

Copyright © 2014 by Sheryle Cruse