Befriend yourself; say hello

“A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Proverbs 17:17

Be a friend. I’m sure you’ve heard that said before. Be your own best friend. Heard that as well?

So, are you on friendly terms with yourself? Or are you at war with yourself instead?

In this difficult life, it’s so challenging to treat ourselves decently, let alone, like a good friend. Even despite any selfish, self-centered behaviors, at the end of the day, honestly, we’re often closer to self-loathing than self-acceptance. We place conditions upon ourselves, believing only when a standard or attribute is met will we be worthwhile. We punish and berate ourselves for the pasty- or even present day poor choices, regrets and mistakes. We chose to view ourselves in only negative, value-less, ugly, disgusting terms.

Let’s admit in in one way or another, usually several, at a time, when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we despise the reflection.

We’re unfriendly. We’re hostile. We’re hateful.

It looks hopeless, doesn’t it?

But what if we’re only created for love, purpose, meaning, beauty and incredible significance? Would that change our friend status towards ourselves? What would we choose in our response to ourselves, even knowing God’s personal response to each of us?

“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”
Isaiah 41:9

Love and acceptance are not passive words; they’re action words! They’re deliberate responses. To say we “love” ourselves is going to require some specific effort from us. It will mean change, prayer and yes, frustration. It will not be a one-time, perfect event. It will be a lifelong, imperfect, daily process. And yes, love requires patience. Not just with others, but with ourselves, toward ourselves as well.

“Love is patient…”
1 Corinthians 13:4

Have you decided to be your friend or your enemy to yourself? Are you choosing to write yourself off, in any way, believing it’s only hopeless? Or, are you going to give yourself a break? Friendship is not based on perfection. If that were the case, even God wouldn’t be bothered with us.

“But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Romans 5:8


So what if you’re “not there” yet? So what if your flaws seem to be glaring? How will rejection of yourself provide the answer to your life? It won’t. Because we’re designed to be loved, accepted and appreciated, by God and by ourselves, loathing, hatred and rejection will never feel right to us.

“I have chosen you and have not cast you away.”
Isaiah 41:9

And even if/when others make their poor decisions to loathe, hate or reject us, for whatever reason, we don’t have to follow suit. We can make another choice; we always make another choice. We can be a friend. We can befriend ourselves.

If love, indeed, never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8), treating ourselves as the valuable friends we are, will move us through our lives with blessing and possibility. Being our own adversary won’t.

So, Friend, where are you. Who are you- to yourself? Friend… or foe?