Through a Glass Darkly

Mirrors are moving targets, aren’t they? Somehow, no matter who we are or what we do, looking at our reflection breeds discontent and frustration. Just try a swimsuit on in a department store changing room. I rest my case. Indeed, mirrors aren’t exactly our “bff’s.” But it’s not the mirror; it’s us. Often, we can take on an eighth grade mean girl persona, cutting down ourselves, based on whatever we do or do not see. And we all know how much fun eighth grade was the first time we went through it. I’ve had an uneasy time with mirrors, especially concerning my eating disorder mindsets. The introduction to my book, “Thin Enough” fixates on an uncomfortable mirror moment, which, unfortunately, happened all too often… “…I looked in the mirror and saw why I chose to put myself through all of this. There it was: my skeleton body, all eighty pounds of it. I was relieved to see that I was still ok; I hadn’t eaten too much after all. I continued staring, admiring my golden rib cage, my trophy. It stuck out and seemed sharp enough to stab someone, almost breaking out of my skin. I had sculpted myself into my own thin, perfect creation. I had proven everybody wrong. I wasn’t just a fat, lumpy girl! I felt vindicated. Starvation, perfection, and destruction were the mandates I had given myself. Wasting away meant that I was pretty, worthy, and somehow holy. I couldn’t stop. I stood in my bedroom, in front of my three-way mirror. I’d seen so many versions of myself. I’d been fat and thin, feeling both unworthy and worthy. Yet I was never satisfied. I strained to continue staring in my mirror, dizzy. Demons of discontent, failure, and constant want reflected back at me...” Years into my recovery, I’ve given a lot of thought to mirrors- as representations of vanity, as torture devices to self-esteem, as deception tools, as something we use to make sure broccoli and lipstick aren’t on our teeth when we go out in public. There’s so much to mirrors. But one thing which isn’t covered is how they don’t tell the entire story of who we are. Mirrors don’t delve into great detail about each trauma, milestone, issue and phase of our lives. And they certainly don’t predict the future or explain God completely. Indeed… “For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.” 1 Corinthians 13:12 So, perhaps, we need to adjust our expectations about mirrors. They aren’t the end all, be all. They aren’t the ultimate measurement of our worth. And, as clear and as smudge-free as a mirror may be, it still cannot show us everything about God and His Purpose for each of us. For that, we need to go to God. “For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror; for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he was. But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.” James 1:23-25 Let’s look into that Mirror. “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” Romans 12:2 Let’s reflect on God’s view of us. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.” Genesis 1:27 And let’s mirror HIS Image!!! “But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.” 2 Corinthians 3:18 Copyright © 2013 by Sheryle Cruse